Posts Tagged ‘CEO’

Picture 1 Top dog at npower opens the door of his kennel and invites customers insideIf there’s one energy company that punters love to hate, it’s npower – they regularly feature in our annual Worst Company In Britain polls and when we drove past their HQ the other week, there was definitely a bit of a smell.

It’s their customer service that drives its er, customers to distraction most of the time, but now npower say that they are going to sort it all out – starting off by opening up access to CEO Kevin McCullough.

They’re also said to be spending £200 million on new software that will allow them to tackle complaints about all manner of stuff ranging from bill errors to missed meter readings to whistling gas. Whistling gas? Maybe not whistling gas.

McCullough says that disgruntled customers can contact him directly at npower, PO box 121, Peterlee, SR8 9DT and that he’ll also be manning the company’s Twitter account, @npowerhq. Let’s see how long it takes him to get sick of that.

Also, you can see the scales falling from Kevin’s eyes as he realises the true horror of the operation he’s heading when he pretends to be an npower worker on Undercover Boss on Channel 4 tonight. You might want to think about whether you want to watch it if you’re an npower customer.

[Mirror]

In a period of CEO controversy, we’ve got some interesting news coming out of sportswear manufacturers K-Swiss – their new chief is failed baseball star and all round deluded loser Kenny Powers.

K-Swiss have issued this short film in which Powers highlights his new strategies for the company and although they whole thing is littered with dirty, foul-mouthed cursing words, we think things are going to go from strength to strength for them.

In case you missed the bit at the top, it’s all NOT SUITABLE FOR CHURCH.

GoDaddy CEO 300x226 GoDaddy CEO shoots an elephant and loses customers A fierce debate has raged around Bitterwallet HQ this morning – if we saw footage of Richard Branston shooting an elephant and then standing by as local villagers in Virgin baseball caps stripped the carcass and devoured the meat, would we cancel our Virgin Media subscriptions? It’s not a relevant question – none of us are Virgin Media customers, because they’re shite.

But it’s the kind of conundrum that is currently troubling customers of web hosting company GoDaddy, after its CEO, Bob Parsons was filmed blasting an elephant during a trip to Zimbabwe. Not surprisingly, there’s been a widespread, knee-jerk outcry along the lines of “Woah, the GoDaddy dude like TOTALLY shot an elephant! I’m closing my account NOW!”

But it’s not as simple as that, as Parsons himself explains…

“I spend a few weeks in Zimbabwe each year helping the farmers deal with problem elephants. The people there have very little, many die each year from starvation and one of the problems they have is the elephants, of which there are thousands and thousands, that trash many of their fields destroying the crops.

The tribal authorities request that I and others like me, patrol the fields before and during the harvest — we can’t cover them all, there are just a few of us — and drive the elephant from the fields. The farmers try to run the elephants away by cracking whips, beating drums and lighting fires. All of this is ignored by the elephants.

When my team catch elephants in a field (there are never just one) we typically kill one of them and the rest leave for good. After we kill an elephant the people butcher the elephant and it feeds a number of villages. These people have literally nothing and when an elephant is killed it’s a big event for them, they are going to be able to eat some protein.

This is no different than you or I eating beef. If at all possible we avoid elephant cows and only kill mature bulls. By just killing bulls it has no effect on the elephant social structure (as it is matriarchal) as well as the herd size. The reason is another bull quickly steps up and breeds in place of the bull taken.”

So is it a branding cock-up on a par with Gerald Ratner’s admission that his jewellery was ‘crap’ or then-Newcastle United chairman Freddie Shepherd boasting of ripping off fans with the price of replica shirts? Or is it some bloke having a bit of firearm fun on his holidays?

And how many of YOU would shoot an elephant in Zimbabwe if you were led to believe it would be a good thing for the local community? Hmmm, thought so.

picture 42 Leaked Nokia memo speaks of burning platform chaos For a while now, it’s been looking as though Nokia are halfway to being screwed, and it looks as though the company themselves are starting to finally realise it. At least if a freshly-leaked memo from new Nokia CEO Stephen Elop is anything to go by.

The phrase “Nokia, our platform is burning” is not the kind of troop-rallying cry you’d expect to hear from someone who thinks that everything is going well within the company. More nuggets of negativity from Elop include…

• “…there is intense heat coming from our competitors, more rapidly than we ever expected. Apple disrupted the market by redefining the smartphone and attracting developers to a closed, but very powerful ecosystem.”
• “They changed the game, and today, Apple owns the high-end range.”
• “Google has become a gravitational force, drawing much of the industry’s innovation to its core.”
• “We have some brilliant sources of innovation inside Nokia, but we are not bringing it to market fast enough. We thought MeeGo would be a platform for winning high-end smartphones. However, at this rate, by the end of 2011, we might have only one MeeGo product in the market.”
• “…Symbian is proving to be an increasingly difficult environment in which to develop to meet the continuously expanding consumer requirements…”
• “Our competitors aren’t taking our market share with devices; they are taking our market share with an entire ecosystem.”
• “We poured gasoline on our own burning platform. I believe we have lacked accountability and leadership to align and direct the company through these disruptive times. We had a series of misses. We haven’t been delivering innovation fast enough. We’re not collaborating internally. Nokia, our platform is burning.”

The full memo can be seen at Engadget. Nokia then – still got loads to offer or more or less tits up now? Your thoughts please you cider-addled nincompoops…

How to contact your (least) favourite CEO

June 3rd, 2010 9 Comments By Andy Dawson
3 osr 202x300 How to contact your (least) favourite CEO

A CEO, yesterday

This might be common knowledge to some of you, but it’s one that we like to mention here now and again. If you’re having trouble with a consumer complaint and the normal avenues have all been exhausted, you could do a lot worse than express your grievance to the CEO of the company in question via email.

Sounds complicated, but it isn’t if you use this directory of UK CEOs and their contact details. Ta-daa! Obviously, we recommend that you be courteous – a flame-attack isn’t going to help anyone. And include as much information as you possibly can – dates, order numbers, a full timeline of your issue with the company.

You never know, you might get lucky. Or if you’re complaining to AT&T CEO Randall Stephenson, you might get hit with the threat of a cease-and-desist order. It’s a lottery.