As the rhyme says, Wednesday’s child is full of fun… or something. That’s probably because Wednesday’s child has been following the advice of HotUKDeals and is now getting ready to receive a cooked breakfast, a portable music player and a set of earphones that you can talk into.

Read on to see how you can become more like the jammy little sod that is Wednesday’s child…

Is David Cameron coming to your constituency over the next couple of weeks? Maybe you’d like to follow the example of a child earlier today and throw an egg at him (other politicial leaders are available to hurl eggs at).

Well, you could get yourself half a dozen eggs for only 53p, along with a packet of bacon for 59p, 16 sausages for 59p and a tin of beans for just 29p. Then you could chuck an entire breakfast at the bastard and it’ll have only set you back £2.00.

Next comes one of the best little portable music players that we’ve never seen. It’s the SanDisk Sansa Clip+ 8GB MP3 player. It’s even got a radio and expandable an MicroSD/SDHC Slot – an enormous boon (and here at Bitterwallet, we’re always on the look out for enormous boons.)

The listing at HotUKDeals says that this thing is available for £36.31 but upon closer inspection, the current price seems to be £39.00 – still, it’s a bargain when you compare it to the RRP of a smidgeon under £120.00. Good times. These are the good times.

But perhaps you’re not in the market for a portable music player like that one. Perhaps you’re an iPhone owner – one that wants to add microphone-type phone call-making capabilities to your favourite earphones. Sleep easy children, because now you can.

Parp! Here comes the Griffin Smart Phone adapter for only £4.99. It also adds mic capabilities to iPod Touch and Nano and Classic. How can this be possible? We’re not sure – but we’re sure it’s got something to do with science.

(deals found by HotUKDeals members whizzkid, cruz and ijhawkins)

Grub, retro gaming and comic book heroes in films. That’s what we’re all about here today round these parts. So sit back, strap yourselves in and feel the G’s.

Much kudos to HotUKDeals who as ever have captured the bargains before beating them to a pulp with a metal bat. Or something.

Let’s start today’s round-up the same way we start every day – with a good hard scratch of the arse. Sorry, that isn’t right. We meant with breakfast. Breakfast, the meal that’s fit for a king but enjoyed most by the unemployable.

This deal should shake both kings and the unemployable out of their lazy torpor and get their mojo going. It’s a breakfast, with drink for only 99p, but the hard part is that they’ll have to leave the house to get the mouths on it. Ouch!

Next comes one for those of you who enjoy partying hard like it’s 1984 all over again. With your George Michael hairdon’t, your ‘Frankie Says…’ T-shirt and your keen interest in the miners’ strike.

It’s an old-school joystick (the Competition Pro – some of you will be creaming yourselves just from reading the name) that plugs into your USB hole, and a disc for your PC with 99 Commodore 64 games on it, including classics like Bomb Jack, Ghosts N Goblins, Defender Of The Crown, Turrican and many many more. Wahoo! Pre-order now for only £9.99.

Finally, we return to the modern age and bring you a Blu-ray triple disc sensation of an offer. It contains both Batman Begins and The Dark Knight along with a bonus disc, all for the low and lovely price of just £12.99 delivered.

We’re not sure what’s on the third disc but we think it might be some preview scenes from the forthcoming Butlins Batman: The Red Cape Of Round-The-Clock Entertainment. We’ve heard good things about it – it reunites most of the creative forces behind Hi-De-Hi…

(deals found by HUKD members AnotherOne, chicobuff and millarcat)

Whenever we try and imagine the typical Bitterwallet reader, we like to think of a hardcore gamer with a fondness for war films and greasy breakfasts.

Oh that’s you over there then is it? Fine. Here’s some cheap stuff that we dug out just for you. Mwah. xxx…

Starting earlier today, a major supermarket are offering 20 per cent off games consoles covering the PS3, Nintendo Wii, Nintendo DSi and the Sega Master System (subject to availability). That makes a 120gb PS3 slim just £200.00, a 250gb PS3 £226 and a Wii only £135.99.

According to the testimonies of the HotUKDeals massive, these things have been flying off the shelves all day and some stores are already sold out, so you may have to do some detective work in order to track one day. But the good news is that the original poster claims that the offer is scheduled to last for eight days – play a long game and you might get lucky.

On to one of our favourite subjects – stuffing our fat faces with grub. In this case, the good old British breakfast. However, here, it comes in kit form and self assembly is required.

You can get enough bacon, eggs, beans, juice, mushrooms, muffins and tomatoes to feed four people, and it’s yours for only £4.00. If you’re a millionaire, sausages can also be had for an extra 97p. Over to you big spender…

Finally, the classic World War Two drama series that makes for a great Christmas gift – Band Of Brothers. Normally it’s a red-hot cheap DVD version that gets posted on here, but today it’s the modern Blu-ray version that’s on offer.

Your choice of retailer will depend on whether or not you’re a Quidco member. You can get the box set for £17.99 with possible Quidco or £17.98 without. Or you can tape it off the telly on to a VHS if you’re into that sort of thing.

(deals found by HUKD members allsaint23, huggychair, macseffect and millarcat)

Despite people older than you appearing to have grown up strong and healthy, every mouthful of food that passed their lips as a kid was essentially poison. Yes, they may have ate a slice of white bread every day and suffered no ill effects, but they didn’t know the flour and starch would cause lungworm and certain death. Same goes for eggs, fish, red meat, white meat, vegetables and apples. And water. And breakfast cereals, too.

Health campaigners are going to war on the big brands with the help of Channel 4’s Dispatches programme tonight, after researchers measured the amount of sugar and salt in breakfast cereals and made direct comparisons to the most unhealthy alternatives they could think of, ignoring all other nutritional information at hand. For example, in the corner of the British Heart Foundation:

“Researchers discovered a Tesco jam doughnut contained 8.6g of sugar while 30g of Kellogg’s Frosties were laden with 11.1g of sugar. The investigation also showed that 30g bowl of Kellogg’s cornflakes has more salt than a bag of Walkers Ready Salted crisps.”

In retaliation, a Kellogg’s spokes person pointed out:

“The reality is a single serving of Frosties or Coco Pops has the same amount of sugar in it as glass of orange juice or a banana. It’s important to remember that a doughnut contains around 14 times the level of fat as a single bowl of Frosties.”

And a Nestlé spokesperson added:

“On average cereals contribute less than 10 per cent of the average adult daily intake of sugars and less than 6 per cent of the average daily sugar intake in children.”

In other words, as long as you and your kids aren’t eating a box of cereal a day and nothing else, you probably don’t have as much to worry about as the headlines will no doubt suggest.

[The Telegraph]