Posts Tagged ‘beer’
Well, one pub is trying something different in a bid to kill the queue – they’ve got technology involved so you can order through your mobile.
If you go to the Keyworth Tavern in Nottingham you can even order your round while you’re on the way, thanks to this Orderella app. You can order from your table once you get in and a bartender will bring over your booze. You’ll only have to stand up to defecate or dance badly to the jukebox.
All drinks are charged to an account to avoid actually using cash and the app will be rolled out at 50 pubs across the UK next month.
Landlord Adrian Clarke reckons the app has already gone down well, saying: “A group of customers even had a bet to see which would be quicker – ordering a drink on the phone or going up to the bar as normal. The phone app won.”
Naturally, the advent of not using cash could mean that the app generates a feeling of ‘pretend money’ and you might end up buying far more than you intended, but at least you’ll get a roaring night out of it. It won’t matter if you’re legless now.
Have a look at the app here.
Britain’s pubs may well be closing down, but it is a different tale for those people who are actually brewing the stuff. 187 new breweries opened in the last year, which takes the total number of breweries in the UK to almost 1,500.
CAMRA said breweries are seeing a revival, and include a beer brewing pizzeria and a transformed Dairy Farm.
There are brewing booms in London, with 23 opening in the capital while West Yorkshire has had a surge, now having 57! Thanks to all this action, there are now 5,200 British beers on offer, which is excellent news.
Sadly, 26 pubs are closing each week in the UK, as landlords struggle with high rents and competition from the cheap booze sold in supermarkets. Just over 50,000 boozers are left, which is the lowest number of pubs in the UK in more than a century. In stark terms, that’s 68,000 less pubs than we had 30 years ago.
Someone has come up with chocolate beer spread and it has a name that is more fun to say than Emmanuel Frimpong. The new paste, called Birra Spalmabile, is available from Selfridges and it is recommend for use on toast or in cakes.
Spokesman Claudio Lorenzini said: “This is not the first time in Italy and in Europe that someone has tried to make a non-liquid beer, but the experiments carried out have not been successful because the combination of ingredients was not a winner.”
“We believe that we have found the right formula with the use of high-quality products.”
Apparently, this gunk tastes like “a sweet and beer-perfumed jelly with an intense scent and a full-bodied taste”.
If you can’t get your hands on it, you could always drink beer and eat chocolate bars at the same time and just keep saying “spalmabile” until you soil yourself and pass out.
The North/South divide doesn’t just extend to paying £300,000 to live in a cupboard next to a far-flung tube station. Southern jessies are also paying more for their ale! In fact, on average they pay 65p more than people in the North of England, who are flinging cheap lager down their necks, having baths in it, and dabbing it behind their ears.
While beer enthusiasts in Northumberland, Tyne and Wear and Derbyshire are happily wasting their lives supping pints costing £3 or less, London and Home Counties boozers are forking out £3.60 or more.
But the best place for beer bargains is Staffordshire (HOME OF ROBBIE WILLIAMS) where you can get pie eyed for a very reasonable £2.95.
This is all according to the Good Pub Guide, which has also rather gloomily predicted that 4,000 pubs will close this year because they’re ‘stuck in the 80s’ with boring food and bad service.
But why would prices differ so wildly for a pint of beer?
‘In the South East, big brewers used to own most pubs, which tended to limit the competition,’ explains Pub Guide spokesperson Fiona Stapeley. ‘But I think people in the South East are simply less careful with their money.’
OOFT. FIGHTING TALK. Let’s settle this outside an 80s pub with a pool cue and a smashed bottle of McEwans.
Britain’s first naturist spa hotel wants an alcohol licence, because what could be better than the feeling of a summer breeze on your undercarriage while drinking a refreshing beer? Well, local residents aren’t best pleased about the idea because they think it could encourage ’lewd behaviour’ by guests.
Councillor Robert Alden is frightened that alcohol would turn the Clover Spa and Hotel, in Erdington, Birmingham, into a strip club, which would in turn attract ‘local youths and troublemakers’.
“There will be a rise in inappropriate behaviour and displays of flesh,” he said, as he pointed out the establishment in Chester Road was visible from a children’s nursery. That’d be children not long of the boob that fed them and not worried about nudity like weirdo adults are.
An unnamed local curtain-twitcher complained to the council that ‘naturism (predominately male), alcohol and children should not be in close proximity’. Women, it seems, are fine.
Tim Higgs, the owner of the hotel, reckons these objections are unfounded: “I do not get where the objectors are coming from. It is a spa, a respectful, quality establishment for naturists, not a pub, you can’t just come in off the street.”
He added that councillors were free to visit the premises whenever they wished.
Red Bull, for some stupid reason, decided to sue a Norfolk micro brewery over their name, Redwell. You’ll notice that, as someone who can read and use their eyes to tell the difference between a small blue and silver can and a brown beer bottle with an entirely different label, an action was folly at best.
And because we side with beer makers, here’s a massive picture of them as a free advertisement.
Red Bull’s brand enforcement manager Hansjorg Jeserznik said that the brewer’s labelling was ‘highly similar’ to their own RED trademark and operated in the same marketplace.
Brewery owner Patrick Fisher said he was shocked by Redbull’s demands, which said that the Redwell name would lead to ‘confusion’ in the beverage marketplace and ‘tarnish’ the Redbull brand.
Fisher said: “Our name is different, our branding is different. We don’t make energy drinks and we’re not planning to move into Formula One or send a man skydiving from space very soon.”
Well done Red Bull, for giving Redwell a free marketing campaign which they wouldn’t have been able to afford otherwise.
BrewDog has launched a crowd funding initiative last week, trying to raise £4 million and, in the first 24 hours, they’ve already hit the £1 million mark. They have until January 2014 to reach their goal.
The company has previously raised £2.2 million from customers in two previous Equity for Punks funding rounds, which went towards expanding their facilities and pub chain.
This latest venture is offering 42,000 class B shares priced at £95 each, which would give shareholders given a lifetime discount on Brewdog products.
And where are these expansions happening? Well, BrewDog want to open a chain of specialist craft beer bottle shops, called BottleDog. The first one should appear in London.
All this, from a company that thinks it’ll top £20 million in sales this year.
Do you like beer? How about FREE beer? Get yourself a 4 pack of Coors Light by just taking a quick call from everyones second favourite Belgian, Jean-Claude Van Damme (just behind Philippe Albert).
After you have taken the call you choose your local supermarket, print your voucher and then go and help yourself to your reward.
As you can see, the ale features their mascot Eddie the Head with the Trooper typeface aping the Iron Maiden logo. Basically, it looks just like their 1983 single of the same name, and has a big Union Jack (one must always Union JACK, because it winds-up jumpy patriots who say ‘Union Flag’) draped in it.
According to Swedish publication Aftonbladet, government-owned chain of booze shop Systembolaget, think that the design contravenes Sweden’s alcohol laws.
Systembolaget’s Therese Elmgren said: “There has been a discussion about the label. The alcohol law stipulates how it can look. We therefore don’t yet know when it can be launched.”
However, no-one is quite sure what law is being contravened, so we’ll just assume that our Swedish cousins are a bit jumpy about a beer that features a zombie charging at you with a broken flagpole.
Speaking previously about the beer, which you can only buy in Robinson’s pubs and this year’s Download festival, Bruce Dickinson said: “I’m a lifelong fan of traditional English ale, I thought I’d died and gone to heaven when we were asked to create our own beer. I have to say that I was very nervous: Robinsons are the only people I have had to audition for in 30 years. Their magic has been to create the alchemical wedding of flavour and texture that is Trooper. I love it.”
The number of local pubs in the UK has fallen to its lowest point in over a century, say the old gits at the Campaign For Real Ale. In fact only 57,000 locals are left, thanks to annoying wine bars, chain pubs and fancy 5 star gastro joints called things like The Lazy Ox and The Fox’s Anal Fissure.
This sad news, which makes you want to immediately hotfoot it to the Pig and Whistle and stare vacantly into a pint of Speckled Badger, comes as traditional pubs are closing at the rate of 26 a week.
Chief executive of CAMRA Mike Benner blamed the government, saying: “We believe that the scrapping of the beer duty escalator and the extra 1p off beer duty announced in this year’s Budget could mark a turning point for pubs.’
But the government also intend to crack down on dodgy dealings from the big chains and introduce a new watchdog scheme which could save local pub landlords £100 million a year.
Let’s hope the humble pub survives. After all, there are only so many times you can see the words ‘pulled pork’ on a rustic blackboard before you want to go mad and attack someone with a pool cue.
Italy! A place of sunshine, fine wines and rich food! A country with fashion houses, tailored suits and sexual potency! However, Italians aren’t all great. Aside from the whole ‘fascism thing’, they also don’t know the first thing about good beer.
This is neatly underlined by an establishment called ‘Old Bear’ which, on the chalkboard, prioritises Tennent’s Super on the beer list! Not only that, they have TWO TYPES of Tennent’s, which is just magnificent. Perfect if your bar wants to attract Rab C. Nesbitt or Stuart McCall.
Anheuser-Busch, who make Budweiser and more, are hitting back at those who think they make watery beer. Of course, all beer is watery or else you’d eat slices of it, but it is pretty much agreed that Bud isn’t exactly a pleasant ale.
And now AB are defending their reputation against claims that they’re watering down beers after boozers filed lawsuits for $5m (£3.3m) each last week in various American states, alleging the alcohol content is less than stated on the label.
AB decided to run full-page adverts, which look exactly like this.
If you can’t read the small text, it says that AB have donated millions of cans of water to the American Red Cross and disaster relief organisations around the world, before signing off with: “”But in every other circumstance, the Anheuser-Busch logo is our ironclad guarantee that the beer in your hand is the best beer we know how to brew.”
“We take no shortcuts and make no exceptions. Ever.”
The lawsuit lead lawyer, Josh Boxer, said: “Our information comes from former employees at Anheuser-Busch, who have informed us that, as a matter of corporate practice, all of their products mentioned [in the lawsuit] are watered down,” and that “Anheuser-Busch employs some of most sophisticated process control technology in the world to precisely monitor the alcohol content at the final stages of production, and then adds additional water to produce beers with significantly lower alcohol contents than is represented on the the labels”.
Company insiders came forward to offer this information, which AB completely reject, with Boxer stating: “These alcohol readings, taken six times a second as the finished product is bottled, will confirm the allegations made by the growing number of former employees who keep coming forward to tell us the truth,” he said.
“Following the merger, [Anheuser-Busch] vigorously accelerated the deceptive practices, sacrificing the quality products once produced by Anheuser-Busch in order to reduce costs,” the lawsuit said.
Some bright sparks called McKinnery Ten Percent have made an arcade machine that rewards you in beer, and called it ‘Beercade’. That’s a game where you indulge in a beat-’em-up and get a pint poured for you when you’re victorious, straight from the machine!
The machine has been created as part of a campaign to promote the Big Boss Brewing Company, and the marketing team should be thunderously applauded.
The game is called ‘The Last Barfighter’ and sadly, it isn’t available to buy as it has been built specially for the brewery, so basically, we’ll all have to wait to see if this catches on and that our pubs start stocking them.
While actual volume of beer quaffed has not been measured here, recent research has found that the UK pays more in beer duty than 16 major European countries put together (Austria, Belgium, Czech Republic, Denmark, France, Germany, Hungary, Ireland, Italy, Luxembourg, Netherlands, Portugal, Slovakia, Slovenia, Spain, Switzerland in case you are interested). In fact, with the exception of our Oktoberfesting friends, small regions of the UK beat most European countries into a top hat on the beer duty stakes. Even the world’s biggest (per capita) beer drinking nation the Czech Republic is drunk under the (beer tax) table by the North East alone. And not just because Andy lives there.
Of course, the high levels of beer duty in the UK are not the only reason we are topping the charts- continental types drink a lot of wine as well, for example, but the scale of the tax compared to our near neighbours is certainly eye-opening.
And the ever-increasing, inflation-beating levels of beer duty, which has increased by over 40% since 2008, is having an effect in the pumps and in the pubs. Heineken recently announced that John Smith’s Extra Smooth bitter will be reduced from 3.8 per cent alcohol to 3.6 per cent, while simultaneously increasing the price of the beer by 2.5p a pint. The manufacturers claim their research suggests the alcohol reduction does not compromise on the taste, but coincidentally, the change will save them over £6.6 billion a year in beer duty.
Brigid Simmonds, Chief Executive of the BBPA Chief Executive said:
“The scale of UK beer tax compared with our near neighbours shows that the Government’s tax policy does not make sense. With more sustainable levels of taxation, we could be creating jobs, and UK brewing would be a bigger manufacturing success story. We need a review now of this policy, as Parliament has rightly requested.”
Delicious, maddening, best friend of the bus-stop boozer – Special Brew – could be coming to an end, along with Tenant’s Tennent’s Super, Kestral Kestrel Super Strength and other beers and ciders with an alcohol volume above 6.5%.
And it all begins in Suffolk, where the police want to stop shops from selling the drinks. Tesco and Co-op have already signed up and will no longer be the friend of the alcoholic. McColl newsagents and some off-licences have also decided to take spesh off the shelves.
Cheapo spirits will invariably still get sold though, so worry not.
Area commander Andrew Mason said super booze was available for as little as 69p, which he described as “pocket money”. He continued: ”We’re going to visit the premises and ask them to make a voluntary variation to their licence, which has a licence condition that they can’t sell it – which makes it future proof.”
Andrew Cleveland, operations manager for drug and alcohol charity Norcas, said: ”It’s a positive step in the way that it will target a specific area. But what really has to happen is not just this as one intervention, we need to make sure there is other support there as well.”
Goodnight sweet prince, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.