While the official announcement isn’t expected until later this afternoon’s keynote speech at Macworld, details of the newest Apple product have already leaked out. The MacBook Wheel is expected to become available to buy within three to 15 months, and while the $2,600 price tag might be considered steep by some, the revolutionary new Hummingbird battery assembly should see it find favour with a new generation of Apple customers:
Apple fanboys are currently experiencing loss of appetite and multiple wet dreams in the twilight hours, as the legendary MacWorld event in San Francisco gears up to launch on Monday. In years gone by, it’s been here that Steve Jobs has announced revolutionary new gadgets in the Apple range, accompanied by cheering, hollering and that incessant, inane whooping only Americans seem capable of.
At such times a rumour mill doesn’t seem adequate, and the internet instead employs a rumour nuclear generator to kick out snips and bytes of gossip concerning what Apple could be launching. In recent days there’s been plenty of scuttlebutt concerning an iPhone Nano, but now Electric Pig has gone and muddied the waters further with talk of a MacBook Nano.
Given that Jobs himself dismissed the notion of a netbook-style device at his last keynote speech, it seems unlikely to happen. Still it’d be a tremendous credit-crunching way to extend the MacBook range, and deliver a heavy blow to ASUS and the like. More pointless speculation or a real possibility? We’ll know for sure on Monday. Until then, back to the cold showers and flicking through old copies of Mac User stashed under the mattress.
It’s the rumour that nobody believes yet it just won’t quit, dammit; is Apple about to announce the launch of an iPhone Nano? In fact it’s already available, according to Apple Insider - if you live in Thailand and aren’t savvy enough to spot a fake:
Meanwhile, adding fuel to the fire that an official product will be launched shortly, is manufacturer Vaja. Their online store sells leather cases for a wide variety of electronic goods, and there in the menu is an option for the iPhone Nano, which leads to an enquiry form.
Since manufacturers are likely to receive advance warning of new lines in order to fulfill demand for accessories, is this yet further proof the iPhone Nano is coming soon? Or simply a marketing ploy to cash in on the unfounded gossip?
The iPhone. Truly deserving of the title the Jesus phone. Perfection in all ways. Except one: it’s not a very good phone. Specifcally, you need to charge it daily. On the road, away from home? Best buy yourself a second charger if you want to go wild and make calls on it.
No doubt Apple will get around to addressing the issue around the same time the Four Horsemen make an appearance. Until then, the world will just have to rely on PhD students with too much time on their hands.
Atif Shamin, studying at Carleton University in Canada, has had at the innards of his iPhone and done away with all those old fashioned wires, the primary cause of power loss. Replacing them is a micro-transmitter that wirelessly connects the circuit board and the antennae, increasing power efficiency by a factor of 12.
That’s battery life sorted for the next iPhone update. Next on the list - making a telephone call that ends when you decide, not the phone.
Dream on fanboys; rumours that a new iPhone Nano was to be announced next month were re-animated when Crunchgear posted a case design for a smaller iPhone companion. Seemingly, accessory manufacturers receive such spec before announcements are made, so that’d be vaguely believable.
This meanwhile, looks like nothing more than ten minutes spent loafing about on Photoshop:
Crunchgear are labelling it as a “concept photo”; we’re not sure how you’d begin to use the keyboard on one of this things. It’d also mean no Apps Store, since the screens appear to be very different dimensions.
What will Apple announce at the annual Macworld Expo next month? Probably not something as radical as a new iPhone, that’s for sure; Steve Jobs isn’t even attending the event.
Apple are such spoilsports sometimes. There you are, a cleverclogs graphic designer with far too much time on your hands, who develops a novelty way for iPhone users to enjoy some mild titillation:
Alas, iBoobs is likely to be nothing but a YouTube demonstration for the time being, because Apple has denied it access to the iPhone Apps Store. But frankly, did you expect anything else?
When we tell you that Apple will be giving away a free download every day for 12 days from Boxing Day onwards, you may feel certain twitches in the crotchal region.
But when we mention that far from being able to choose any song, video or tv programme to download, Apple will only be offering specific and limited content, you may be left naught but flacidity:
“Rare singles, exclusive live tracks and free music videos… plus classic TV episodes that you just won’t want to miss…” - luffy language that suggests you’re going to enjoy nothing but a crappy selection of low quality potboilers that rarely trouble the iTunes charts. Still it’s free, and for anyone receiving an iPod this Christmas, it’ll be like discovering fire. To receive email alerts for each day’s new offer, sign up here.
We’ve talked about the possibility for years, and found ourselves frustrated by Apple’s lack of validation in our beliefs - that the world would be a better place with a smaller, leaner, meaner MacBook. Until now.
We’ve all got opinions on what Apple should wow the world with next; something like the tactile screen-displays out of Minority Report, or a teeny tiny netbook that looks sweet and more than compensates for not having a girlfriend. Or an iPhone with a battery that lasts longer than an hour. Or…
Well, whatever new gizmo or gadget you want from Miter Jobs and his development team of bulbus-brained Mekons, you’re going to get it. Well, not all of you, just some of you. Possibly. There are rumours spreading quicker than a case of chlamydia in a nursing home, that Apple will launch “an entirely new device category next year”. The rumour is fuelled by Apple’s purchase of a semi conductor design company in April, and an analyst who may (or may not) prove to be talking utter, utter bollocks.
What could this new product be? Pundits have speculated about Mac Tablets for over a decade, so it’s unlikely we’ll see one now. The smart money might be on a range of netbooks - if Apple brought out a low cost product decorated with aspirational fruit molding, they could grind the likes of ACER into dust.
It may all be nonsense and nothing more than an educated guess. Next year will probably see a third generation iPhone released and Apple make substantial gains in the handset market, new versions of the Mac Book are now available, and there isn’t much more tweaking that can be done with the iPod range. It all suggests the company needs somewhere new to go if Jobs is to keep defying the economic downturn and building the Apple brand.
In the mind of boss man Steve Jobs, we no longer have need for material possessions. Except for iPhones, iPods and MacBooks, obviously. CDs and DVDs are relics, entertainment can be purchased and plucked from the ether. But you can’t buy into Jobs’ vision of the future without making sacrifices, the largest being your bank balance. With no official means of transferring your existing DVDs to iTunes, you’re left to pay the skyscraping prices in the iTunes Store. £33 for the first season of Lost? Are you sure about that?
So it’s good to see apps like Joost making their way to the iPhone and iPod Touch. Joost is a video distribution system created by the folks who owned Skype, before selling it to eBay for zillions. Working in a similar manner to the YouTube application on iPhones and iPods, Joost lets you choose a show from a one of a number of category and watch it on your device.
The interface is clean and simple, the design is sharp, and it very much looks the part. But (and it’s a big but) Joost has yet to license muchos material for broadcast in the UK, so currently you’re stuck with a collection of music videos and documentaries. We know a thing or two about licensing content, and let us tell you, it’s an utter pain in the arse. The situation should right itself in the near future, but it’s certainly a portent of things to come; already in the US, use of on-demand web-based apps like Joost and Hulu is increasing as a new generation tailor their consumption habits around online delivery.
The Joost app is free from the Apple Apps Store, so there’s no harm in downloading it for the time being, even if you’ll rarely use it in the here and now.
How fast is your iPhone when surfing? Is it like watching lightning strike your hand, such is the speed and dazzling intensity of page loading times? Or is it more like observing a cow laying a lazy pat into your palm? Yes, it’s the same for us. Feel misled by claims of blinding 3G speeds? You’re not the only one.
One of Apple’s television adverts for the iPhone advert has been banned by the ASA for exaggerating the speed of the handset’s connection. Bombarding the viewer Malcolm Macdowell-style with the phrase “really fast”, the ad showed pages loaded near instantly. Those of us in the real world wondered whether we’d bought the wrong handset.
17 people complained to the ASA, saying the advert had misled them as to its speed. Apple UK defended the ad, saying it was comparing the 3G model with its 2G predecessor and the claims were “relative not absolute” and that the average consumer would realise the phone’s performance would “vary by location”, which they state in the ad. Where then, we wonder, do you have to live for the iPhone to enjoy such a magnificent connection?
The ASA clearly couldn’t think of anywhere either, and so banned the ad. To be fair, we haven’t any real issue with the download times, but if Apple are going to show the handset doing one thing on the telly when it does something entirely different in real life, of course people will complain. Instead of amending the ad, hopefully Apple will amend the iPhone.
What have I got in my hand? It’s my iPod Touch, silly. I’m just syncing it with my MacBook to download some shiny. As we revealed last week, Apple have today released version 2.2 software for both the Touch and the iPhone.
What do you get? Depends. If you’ve got an iPhone, you can now enjoy Google Street View with your Google Maps, meaning you can navigate major streets at eye level. You can also pull up public transport timetables for your location, and share your whereabouts in an email with one tap.
There’s also an updated iTunes store, which lets you subscribe to and update podcasts remotely from your iPhone, instead of having to hook up to your Mac (no doubt the reason why Apple pulled the popular Podcaster app from the App Store), plus some tweaks to Safari and Mail, a promised decrease in dropped calls and a somewhat superfluous homepage shortcut.
If you’ve got an iPod Touch, you get exactly the same, except for stuff about dropped calls, but then it’s not a mobile so we’ll forgive them. Although they also seemed to have missed Google Street View. And the timetables. And you can’t share your location. I’ve just this second finished the update in case it was a mistaken omission, but it seems not. Bah. Seems like the Touch owners have been short-changed, unless there’s some operational reason not to include the fun stuff?
Price fixing is a dirty business, one that benefits the big boys and picks the pockets of the consumer. If you’ve bought a Motorola mobile, a Dell PC or an iPod in the last few years, you may have spent over the odds as a victim of a manufacturing cartel.
Three companies - LG, Sharp and Chunghwa Picture Tubes Ltd - have admitted to fixing the prices of liquid crystal display TV screens, computer monitors and other LCD screens. In particular, Sharp was charged for fixing prices on LCD panels sold to Dell for computers, Motorola for its Razr phone and Apple for its iPods.
Collectively, the three firms have been fined nearly $600 million by the US Department of Justice; LG was fined $400 million - the second highest criminal fine the department has ever imposed.
Are you one of the top ten brands in the world? Likely to dominate global media and online innovation for the foreseeable future? Launching a revolutionary new application to a planet of consumers?
Right. In that case, it’s best to check your product is in stock before you try selling it. I’m talking to you, Google.
Yes, even the biggest companies in the world make juvenile schoolboy errors. On Friday, Google officially launched their voice-recognition search application for the iPhone, allowing users to Google search on their phone’s browser by talking into the handset. Except the app was subject to the same paperwork and clearance checks all iPhone applications are, and Apple was yet to rubber-stamp for inclusion in the App Store. Hence a big launch… and no app to be found. Doh!
It’s a well established fact within scientific circles, that the strongest substance known to man is an element known as Tesco. The first experiments into this material were conducted in Alamogordo, New Mexico, on July 16th 1945, when the United States detonated several nuclear devices inside a small Tesco Express. Aside from the curdling of several pots of Finest double cream, the store remained entirely intact.
So it’s not surprising that Tesco has been named as the UK company most likely to survive a recession and potentially show growth during that time.
The key to staying strong during the credit crunch is being proactive in considering a customer’s wants and needs, say accountants BDO Stoy Hayward and retail analysts Verdict.
Creating a “survivability index”, the research found that not only were several established companies well placed for the future, but also smaller businesses too, those focussed on strong branding, customer needs and a well developed community-based internet presence. Well known, public facing businesses that don’t dick their customers about are likely to do well? Who knew?
So which stores are likely to still be standing in five years’ time? (Read more…)
In the mind of boss man Steve Jobs, we no longer have need for material possessions. Except for iPhones, iPods and MacBooks, obviously. CDs and DVDs are relics, entertainment can be purchased and plucked from the ether. But you can’t buy into Jobs’ vision of the future without making sacrifices, the largest being your bank balance. With no official means of transferring your existing DVDs to iTunes, you’re left to pay the skyscraping prices in the iTunes Store. £33 for the first season of Lost? Are you sure about that?
What have I got in my hand? It’s my iPod Touch, silly. I’m just syncing it with my MacBook to download some shiny. 
feral trolley of the week
