Speed camera that checks your insurance, tax and seatbelt… and possibly if you have a bogey hanging out of your nose

November 3rd, 2010 8 Comments By Mof Gimmers

road runner bow arrow Speed camera that checks your insurance, tax and seatbelt... and possibly if you have a bogey hanging out of your nose

Hey drivers! Apparently, there’s a new speed camera coming your way that’s almost sentient! Like one of those Glade air-fresheners that know when to spit out chemicals toward your nostrils. And Johnny 5.

This new speed camera, obviously, detects what speed you’re doing… but it also has a bunch of other features that will check your number plates and make sure that your tax is up to date.

Not only that, but it will also measures the distance between vehicles to see if you’re tailgating someone, all the while, taking snaps of the inside of the car to make sure you’re wearing a seat belt.

It’ll probably develop ears at some point so it can chide you for your terrible taste in music.

The whole thing is rigged up to police computers via satellite, so that prosecutions can be started within seconds of offences. Maybe it will prompt drivers into flashing their chests like people photographed on a log flume?

The system is known as Asset – Advanced Safety and Driver Support for Essential Road Transport – and is costing around £7 million to develop. If rolled out in Britain, it’ll probably make that money back in a day on issued tickets.

Matti Kutila, senior research scientist, says: ‘The main intention is to support traffic police so that drivers follow traffic rules such as wearing seat belts, keep to the speed limit and maintain sufficient distance to the vehicle in front. This, of course, is beneficial for road safety.”

So there you have it. That should keep you on your toes for a bit while muttering about a Big Brother state.

Comments (8) Jump to most recent comment
  1. Posted by Alexis November 3, 2010 at 3:10 pm

    Since there’s no more funding for speed cameras, 95% of people wear seatbelts and prosecutions would a nightmare for issues like tailgating I’m not losing any sleep.

    Wouldn’t mind them sorting out mobile phones though. Not because of the alleged danger, but because dicks on mobiles drive really slowly and hog outside lanes like zombies.

  2. Posted by Nobby November 3, 2010 at 3:13 pm

    I wonder if it can detect masterbating?

    No doubt they will sell footage to TV companies too. So if timed right, you could get your cum-shot on some crappy Channel 5 TV programme.

  3. Posted by Bill November 3, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    This story is copied from yesterdays Mail Online.

  4. Posted by Saxo Driver November 3, 2010 at 5:51 pm

    I for one think this is a wonderful idea, and welcome our new traffic police overlords. Or course, we all know that cars on foreign plates will get away scot-free, so I’m off to buy that beat up Audi off the Latvian chap picking the tomatos.

  5. Posted by Brad November 3, 2010 at 7:07 pm

    Was just about to say time to register my car in Eastern Europe but looks like I was beaten to it.

  6. Posted by The Real Bob November 3, 2010 at 9:37 pm

    I’d love to have seen the comments page on the Mail website, you can visualize them foaming at the mouth.

  7. Posted by piggy November 4, 2010 at 7:46 am

    Good job, get all those uninsured chavs off the road!

  8. Posted by Mick the Take November 4, 2010 at 12:41 pm

    Just in time for the vicious cuts in policing, now they can safely get rid of the traffic officers that will clearly be surplus to requirements.

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