Omegle – fresh internet nonsense to eat into your day
By Andy Dawson
Say hello to our latest favourite waste of internet time – Omegle. It’s a real-time chat site that hooks you up with a random stranger who you know absolutely nothing about. No user profiles, no avatars, just you, them and some chat.
With no censorship either, you might get a raving maniac, a sexual pervert or someone who is just taking the piss. We’ve had a few goes on it and we’re finding ourselves falling into the latter category. Here’s one we did earlier…
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Helloooo
You: Hi!
Stranger: wow are u
Stranger: 
You: These birds are attacking me. Do you have a number I could call?
Stranger: 0445057711
Stranger: 
You: Great! My hands are bleeding from the pecking but I’ll try dialling it with the tip of my nose.
You: If I survive there could be a cash reward in it for you!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
That went well didn’t it readers! Keeping some conversations going is almost like playing keepy-uppie with a ball – you know it’s going to end any minute but you’re willing it to carry on. The site has grown from a handful of users to a few thousand over the past week and is sure to get bigger and weirder over the coming weeks. Love it.
Have a go and copy and paste your findings below. Keep it relatively clean though please. If you can.
feral trolley of the week
had a quick go…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Are you Alex?
You: i am alex
Stranger: ?
Stranger: what country
You: you must be dragonfly
You: that matters not
Stranger: I am not
Stranger: sorry
You: bugger
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Strange, I was speaking to a gay adolf hitler who then disconnected when I said I was Winston Churchill.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Have you seen my car keys? I put them down somewhere but can’t remember where.
Stranger: look in the fridge.
You: The fridge, eh? Will do. Hang on.
Stranger: alright.
You: Nope, not there. Have you got them? Eh?
Stranger: yeah, sorry.
You: Well that’s no good. How the fuck am I going to drive my car to work now?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You: Hi!
Stranger: heya
You: George Lamb is rubbish, isn’t he?
Stranger: never heard of him
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi!
Stranger: hi
You: How are you?
Stranger: fine thx and u?
You: I’m great! Bit of a grim morning, but it can only get better!
You: Any ideas where I can buy some bin liners, a mop and a hacksaw?
Stranger: wait 2 seconds
You: OK, please don’t be too long, I don’t want it to stain.
You: I’m running out of bleach. Where the hell have you gone?
Stranger: i think you need to go to a big supermarket and yyouou should find everything you want
You: Really? Great, thank you!
Stranger: it’s my pleasure
You: Do you like steak? Give me your address. I should have some chops I can send you in a bit.
You: I’ll deliver them myself.
Stranger: i like it but you need to keep cold the meat ^^
You: It’s ok. I’ll pack them in ice. I’ll deliver them myself. I’ve got a van. Tell me where you live now.
Stranger: In france
You: God, what a mess.
You: France? Right. The address?
Stranger: 8 rue de la Houille Blanche
Stranger: 38100 GRENOBLE
You: Really? Don’t shit me about, I’m really not in the mood today.
Stranger: it’s a real road you can check on gmap
You: Are you alone?
Stranger: of course
You: Excellent. If you could disconnect the phone too, it’ll save me the bother. See you soon!
Stranger: hhishfkashgggggggggggggggggggg
You: have you seen my pet giraffe?
Stranger: OMG YOU ARE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
Stranger: yes
Stranger: i’m currently sitting with le girrafe
You: i’ve lost him
Stranger: i find it…. quite intriguing
You: he is quite chatty
Stranger: have you seen my pet dinosaur sir
Stranger: yesyes, chatting away
You: let me check under my desk
You: yes your dinosaur is here
Stranger: tell him
Stranger: he is big big trouble
Stranger: and he is bad boy
Stranger: for stepping on your giraffe upon his exit
You: could you tell my giraffe that too? giraffe didn’t make his bed before he left
Stranger: ohh tut tut
Stranger: i gave him a big talking to
You: but your dinosaur has said he will make it instead
Stranger: brbbbbbbbbb, stay here ill be back in two secs, im taking your giraffe for a walk
You: okie dokie
You: your dinosaur wants some toast anyway
Stranger: give him some with crushed acorns and pinapple splice ice cream, its his favourite
You: agh, i have the ice cream, but ive just eaten the last crushed acorn
Stranger: damn
Stranger: he may throw a bit of a tantrum
You: gerry, the giraffe, loves specks of dust covered in mango juice if you have any?
Stranger: sorry on his behalf
Stranger: one left! its gerrys lucky dayyy indeed
You: i might pop out to the acorn shop
Stranger: you are a giant winner i’d have to say
You: right i must go – your dinosaur is getting grumpy! i will pop him in the post…..
Stranger: okay
Stranger: your giraffe will be ready for collectin at 06:00am
OMFG ANDY THIS IS AMAZING LOOOOL!!!
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi!
You: hi
Stranger: wanna hear a joke?
You: can i ask u a question
Stranger: let me tell you my joke first
Stranger: then you can ask
You: ok
Stranger: religion lawlawlawlawlawl!!!
You: haha awesome
You: havent laughed so much since my grandads funeral
You: right my question
You: just need a yes or no answer…ready?
Stranger: shoot!
You: should hotukdeals have banned me?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: your an asshole
Stranger: love ya
Stranger: bye
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi
You: Hi
Stranger: Cyber ?
You: No
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
great
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi there, i am a moderator on this site, do u mind if i ask you a few questions?
Stranger: go on
You: during your time on this site, have u experienced A.N.A.L
You: TO CLARIFY
You: A.N.A.L stands for
You: anonymous nasty aggressive language
Stranger: not really
Stranger: why?
You: so no A.N.AL experienced?#
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
you have increased the happiness of my working day by 80%
and decreased my motivation to do any work by 100%
best article ever.
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: cyber?
You: is u a batty boy
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Waaaaaablooo!!!!
Stranger: wdf
You: EEEZZZ blad why u buzzin?
Stranger: wdf
Stranger: what up homie nigga
Stranger: blah blah guns and hoes
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: hi
You: wanna hear asong?
Stranger: yes
You: To the theme of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air:
South-east England born and raised
On reality tvs where I spent most of my days
Bein’ racist, whoring out and relaxin’ all cool
And being disgusting, destroying the gene pool
When a couple of cells
Who were up to no good
Startin making cancer in my vaginalhood
I got one little cancer and my doctors got scared
They said ‘we are putting you on chemo, say goodbye to your hair!
Stranger: love it
You: might send it to dr dre
You: what u think
Stranger: yeah totally
You: thanks!
Stranger: so I have some intresting news, wanna hear?
You: yeh go on
Stranger: you just lost the game
You: oh no what will i do!
You: thanks!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Had three convos.
Two had gay guys trying to talk dirty and one had a guy who asked an odd question if a specific phrase meant anything to me then disconnected when I said no.
anyone fancy trying to find eachother
ill go into a room and say “bitter”
all u need to reply is “wallet”
anyone wonna see if it can be done??
I got talking to some twat, said they were Winston Churchill. Why do I always get the nutters?
You: hi
Stranger: hello!
You: have u seen my dog boris?
Stranger: Yeah, he’s with my goat, Nigel
You: tell him its his dinne rtime he loves eating stones
You: hes got to go to north london later
Stranger: alright.
Stranger: He just looked at me funny
You: slap him
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: bitter
Stranger: lemons
You: nope
Stranger: fuck off then
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
lol @ acecatcher
You: bitter
Stranger: Yes, quite.
You: wallet?
Stranger: On the desk.
You: very good
lol gooner its just not gonna work
i know
I can’t believe how much I love this site already.
I had one conversation start with singing the words to Rick Astley!
One word: Hooked.
i just got rick rolled but it was one of those things where its a load of dots that make a face
great stuff!
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey there
You: pervert?
Stranger: weird question
Stranger: but no
You: I have been here for 5 mins
You: and everyone is vulgar as hell
Stranger: im guessing you had your fair share of perverts the past fee chats ?
Stranger: ahh
Stranger: well i chanced upon this website
Stranger: just checking it out
You: want to knowmy age and where i am from,
You: yeah
Stranger: but with somethin random like this youre bound to encounter weird people i guess
You: I think its a bit of fun
Stranger: ive just started trying it out today actually
You: just not very friendly when you are school and you are 8 like me
Stranger: and made a friend
Stranger: 8 years old eh
You: yup
Stranger: when i was 8 i didnt even know wat a computer is
Stranger: lol
Stranger: think i was playing marbles whole day long
You: yeah well
You: I have 2
Stranger: 2 what ?
You: marbles?
You: I have 2 xcomputers
Stranger: ahh
Stranger: i have 4
You: my dad got me like a small 1
Stranger: ahh those eepc
Stranger: i use one for work
You: you know them laptops
Stranger: yep
Stranger: i have one
Stranger: use it for work
You: is this wat they call grooming?
Stranger: grooming ?
You: yeah when adults try to friends with children
Stranger: well nope, it is a random chat
Stranger: as long as im not chatting with a jerk im fine with it
You: ever hear of ‘to catch a predator’
Stranger: yeah so ?
You: this is part of the pilot for the UK show
Stranger: yeah rite
Stranger: my guess is either youre really 8 and totally clueless
Stranger: or a really damn bored teenager
Stranger: so which one is it
Stranger: my guess is the second one
You: well yeah
You: what you gonna do
You: so how comes you are not working?
Site has crashed now? Can’t get onto server! Boo hoo!
I can’t get on
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hello
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Good.
You: bitter
Stranger: oh hi
Stranger: me too!
You: lol
Stranger: fuckin a
Stranger: why you?
You: lost my wallet
Stranger: thw worst…
Stranger: this morning?
You: yeh
You: so why you?
Stranger: insomnia
Stranger: so much shit to do today
You: too mich food?
Stranger: wanted to go on here and whine
You: much*
You: good place for it
Stranger: food and nap in the afternoon
lol paul i got that alot aswell! that and “bittersweet”
im gonna carry on tho if ppl still wonna try??
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: bitter?
Stranger: lager
You: wallet
Stranger: empty
You: lol
You: sunshine
You: drunk?
Stranger: not yet!!!!
You: working?
Stranger: skiving!!!
You: lol.same
You: seen my boyfriend?
Stranger: not since last nite!!
You: oh. That explains the swelling.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: has it gone down yet?
You: any advice for him on curing that?
Stranger: i’d just get rid to be honest,
You: of what?
Stranger: your boyfriend!!
Stranger: he is a strange one
You: oh ok. i know buti like the strange ones
Stranger: thats why we get on soooo well
You: tell me about it.
You: u do realise I am gay dont you?
Stranger: of course darling!
You: excellent sweetheart
Stranger: have you seen ralphy??
You: yes him and ricardo were shopping in the body shop earlier
Stranger: omg, hows that ricardo,
You: fit as always!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stranger: cool, just how we like them
You: yep.
Stranger: r u clubbing laters
You: nah. working
You: bout u?
Stranger: am out with your boyfriend!!!
You: oh good.
You: dont tire him out tho.
Stranger: you dont mind sweetie??
You: of course not sweetheart. why would I?
Stranger: you do like to share!!!
You: my man knows where the goodies are!
Stranger: yep, they’m over here!!!
You: the only thing over there is a walking STD!!!!!
You: shame on you girl
Stranger: awwww, you say the most lovely things!!
You: i know.
You: so which club u hitting tonight?
Stranger: whichever one i aint banned from!!
You: whats wrong?
You: lol.
Stranger: there aint much choice!!!
You: beggars cant be choosers
Stranger: thats wat your boyfriend say!!
You: aboutu?
Stranger: nah, !!
You: oh btw i saw seany at the gym this morning. Your bro really does look fine.
You: 10/10
Stranger: you really want him??
You: u know i do!!!!!!!!
You: do u mind?
Stranger: cool, c wat I can fix 4 u!!
You: luv u loads darling
Stranger: luv u rite back!
You: u can have my man.
You: kiss kiss.
Stranger: already got him sugar
You: muwahhh
Stranger: have to go, whoever you are, you’ve been best chat on here!!!!!
You: call seany and try and sort this out for me.
You: lo. thanks. just joking btw
Stranger: I know!! you’ve been fun!!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: ………………………………. ………………………………….,-~~”””’~~–,,_
………………………………………….. …………………………….,-~”-,:::::::::::::::::::”-,
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………………………………………….. ………………………..’|:::::|: : : : : : : : : : : : : :
………………………………………….. ………………………..|:::::|: : :-~~—: : : —–: |
………………………………………….. ……………………….(_”~-’: : : : : : : : :
………………………………………….. ………………………..”’~-,|: : : : : : ~—’: : : :,’–never Gonna
………………………………………….. ……………………………|,: : : : : :-~~–: : ::/ —–give You Up!
………………………………………….. ……………………….,-”’:: :’~,,_: : : : : _,-’
………………………………………….. ………………….__,-’;;;;;:”-,: : : :’~—~”/|
………………………………………….. ………….__,-~”;;;;;;/;;;;;;;: :: : :____/: :’,__
………………………………………….. .,-~~~””_;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;’,. .”-,:|:::::::|. . |;;;;”-,__
………………………………………….. /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;;;. . .”|::::::::|. .,’;;;;;;;;;;”-,
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You have just been rickrolled by veda from FOK.nl
i had that!
You: ARSENAL!!!!!!
Stranger: FC GRONINGEN!
You: rubbish!
Stranger: =O
Stranger: now im crying..
Goddam, that’s an hour of my day wasted
Stranger: true thing
Stranger: is your name really ’stranger’?
Stranger: quite an obvious name
You: i know, and nobody ever talks to me, they all just run away, and tell their mothers…
Stranger: no way….
You: some days i really dislike my parents
Stranger: cause of?
You: Calling me stranger
Stranger: well
Stranger: lucky bastard
You: Stranger Joe McCarthy
You: that’s my name
Stranger: my mom wanted to call me”Hello, I’ll cut your head of with my”, but our last name is Penis, so she thought that would sound very weird…
just spent half hour trying to find a fellow BitterWallet follower.
25 convos, no result unfortunately.
See all the convos here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/37142198@N06/
or as a slideshow:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/37142198@N06/sets/72157616341705859/show/
If I get some more time I might keep trying
You: hi
Stranger: hi
You: bye
Stranger: bye
You have disconnected.
That guy was weird!
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: post-its or the other kind?
Stranger: ?
You: fish or chips?
Stranger: chips
You: cheese or onion?
Stranger: cheese
You: moon or stars?
Stranger: stars
You: french or saunders?
Stranger: saunders
You: bill or ted?
Stranger: an excelent adventure?
You: bogus
You: gin or tonic?
Stranger: gin
You: hand stands or cartwheels?
Stranger: hand stands
You: christmas or new year?
Stranger: whay are u asking me this stuff?
Stranger: christmas
You: red or blue?
Stranger: blue
You: ham or eggs?
Stranger: eggs
You: home or away?
Stranger: or no
Stranger: ham
Stranger: home
You: family guy or simpsons
You: ?
Stranger: simpsons
You: hero’s or lost?
Stranger: heros
You: ps3 or xbox?
Stranger: ps3
Stranger: why are u asking me this stuff?
You: kirk or spok?
Stranger: spok
You: thanks
You: thought so
You:
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: shabooya
You: aloha
Stranger: asl?
You: 454 non – determined sex Mars
You: u/
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
…Oh…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi!
You: Do you like Hock, Mike Hock?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
…Oh…
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Stranger: looking for a dirty chat
Stranger: i’m 17/f
You: no
Stranger: ok
You: well good for you
Stranger: ^_^
LOL, What a actual skankkk!
Didn’t take long for it to be hijacked by closet Gays, Spam and possible sex offenders.
Don’t know why but the above three categories seem to be the only people I get linked too.
Stranger: moii
You: how do u feel about bacon
Stranger: i dont know
You: i like it
Stranger: nice
You: yep
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: the joe from 1993
You: boo
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
jesus they where easily scared.
[...] Omegle – talk jibber jabber with complete strangers. Make it weird and see how long you can string… The Hilton at Grosvenor Street in Edinburgh – worst hotel evur? (Note to Charlotte at lastminute – you’ve gone a bit quiet on this one.) [...]
Yeah, this is the future.
Stranger: h3f
You: Hi
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
people, post your frikkin Omegle chats on Mobozo.com
Everyone is doing it! DO IT!