Finland sorry for letting citizens wipe bums on Bible

5 March 2013

Ever heard a Bible passage and thought: "That sounds like a load of rubbish! I wouldn't wipe me arse on it!"

Well, over in Finland, people were inadvertently mopping dung from their holes after a Finnish toilet paper manufacturer popped some quotes from the holy text on their bog roll.

Meta Tissue put philosophical phrases, poetry and whatnot on their toilet paper in a bid to spread love (rather than faeces), however, when some passages from the Bible were included, stupid religious sorts got all uppity, leaving the poo-swabbers red-cheeked and apologising.

Laila Riksaasen Dahl, the Bishop of Tunsberg said: "This is bad taste and shows a lack of respect. Bible verses do not belong on a roll of toilet paper."

Christina Von Trampe, a spokesperson for Meta Tissue, said: "People like to read small, happy messages while sitting on the toilet. The vast majority of the feedback has been positive. Our intention was to spread love and joy, not religious messages."

Meanwhile, the estates of various philosophers couldn't care less because they've got much more important things to worry about, which of course, Christians could learn a thing or two from.

8 comments

  • Obi-Wan
    Have the Christians never heard of 'turning the other cheek' to something that offends them? Hai fank yoo - I'm ere all week...
  • Gaaaaaah
    You can't help but wonder what the outcry would have been had other religous texts been used. I don't know...just picking one at random...the Quran for example? I would suspect there would have been holy wars, jihads, bombings, beheadings AT THE VERY LEAST already by now. So I say well done to the christians for simply getting a little bit miffed by it.
  • Sicknote
    God probably doesn't exist and the faster you come to terms with that the better it'll be for everyone else.
  • chewbacca
    If it was the Quran we'd be on high terror alert and evacuating tall buildings. Not halal. Voted cold.
  • Marcus
    So let me get this right. The non-Christians here think it's out of order for Christians to say they think something is inappropriate? What would your reaction be if they had faces of famous people through history on it? I bet quite a few Americans would get upset if people were wiping on Abe Lincoln. Just because some people don't believe in God, or share the same cultural background, doesn't mean they have an automatic right to disrespect other peoples cultures without any comeback.
  • Gavthechav
    Talk of using the Quran is interesting seeing as it shares a lot of the same books that are featured in the bible. Perhaps the phrases used are also from the Quran and Finland is now heading for a holy war with Islam? Or maybe it's too cold for a holy war today in Helsinki.
  • dawoud
    ONE WORD ALLAH
  • steven
    is this the real face of jesse

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