Moonpig couldn’t give a damn about your father, alright?

By Paul Smith

Fathers, eh? Nobody cares whether they contribute to the upbringing of children. All they’re good for is intense lager-drinking in the family home, disappearing to the pub several nights a week and scaling Downing Street dressed as the Green Lantern. And Father’s Day is nothing more than a cynical commercial ploy to cash in on the undeniable blood bond we feel with our second favourite parent.

At least that’s what Moonpig think. They couldn’t give a damn if Pops dragged his arse outside in sub-zero temperatures dressed as Santa Claus when you were four years old, or that he gave up watching The Krypton Factor final so you could see Return of the Jedi at the cinema. Father’s are barely worth a second thought in the eyes of the gurning space-pork – less than eight minutes, anyway; Bitterwallet reader Scott received this from Moonpig yesterday:

moonpig Moonpig couldnt give a damn about your father, alright?

“Got sent this by Moonpig today at 1.52pm,” said Scott. “As you can see they’re asking me to create and send my card before 2pm. I would have liked a bit more time to think about what I’d send to my dear old Dad on Fathers Day, a little longer than 7 minutes and 13 seconds anyway.”

You heartless bastards, Moonpig. How could you?

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Posted in Stuff, customer service June 19th, 2009 | 19 Comments

19 Responses to “Moonpig couldn’t give a damn about your father, alright?”

  1. Posted by -> Insert Witty Name Here | June 19th, 2009 at 11:35 am

    Probably got stuck in the ether somewhere, I doubt even Moonpig were as feckless as to send an email reminer at the 11th hour. I’ve received emails in the afternoon that were sent in the morning.

  2. Posted by Paul Wong | June 19th, 2009 at 12:18 pm

    Does this really warrant an article? What a waste of time and energy.

  3. Posted by James | June 19th, 2009 at 12:20 pm

    It doesn’t say that its the deadliine for ANY fathers day cards. It is just the deadline to ensure delivery the next working day. Had they sent this today at 13:52 then fine….but i don’t see why its a problem on the 17th?

  4. Posted by Peter | June 19th, 2009 at 12:29 pm

    Pathetic Rant, 8 minutes is longer than it takes me to pick a card in the supermarket, With moonpig you can create a card in under 2 minutes.

    So please don’t waste your time in the future.

  5. Posted by Sean | June 19th, 2009 at 12:36 pm

    James – are you retarded? It says nothing about ‘next working day’. It states that to ensure you safely get your card in time for fathers day, to order before 2pm on the day that the email was received.

    As, we all know, first class does not always = 1 day postage.

    Duh.

  6. Posted by Sid Vicious | June 19th, 2009 at 12:41 pm

    and why does it need a email from moonpig to make you think about sending or getting your father a farthers day card?

    “I would have liked a bit more time to think about what I’d send to my dear old Dad on Fathers Day”

    this translates to damn i forgot it was fathers day/damn i forgot to get my father a card shit now what do i – ill blamke moonpig
    what a waste of effing time

  7. Posted by Sean | June 19th, 2009 at 12:43 pm

    And Peter,

    Yes, you can possibly log into your moonpig account (should you have one…), create and order a card, in less than 2 minutes…

    …but I can get dressed and ready for work in under 2 minutes – however I’d look almost as retarded as you, getting into work with odd socks, creased shirt, smelling of bed and toilet paper round my feet.

  8. Posted by James | June 19th, 2009 at 12:50 pm

    @Sean – I’ve had a long hard think and I can assure I am not retarded.

    “It states that to ensure you safely get your card in time for fathers day, to order before 2pm on the day that the email was received.”

    I see no such text mate. There is nothing in that email whatsoever about getting it in time for fathers day. so you’re bit of text there is made up?

    My bit of text however, is based past experience that you must order before 2pm in order to get the letter sent out that day.

    Yes you are right “first class does not always = 1 day postage”, however over 90% of the time….IT DOES (see link)

  9. Posted by James | June 19th, 2009 at 12:52 pm

    link http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/3190327.stm

  10. Posted by Jon | June 19th, 2009 at 12:59 pm

    hahahahahahhahahhhhahahahaha!

  11. Posted by Sam | June 19th, 2009 at 1:18 pm

    Calm down peeps, the fact of the matter is Moonpig should have sent this out hours before 1.52pm. That’s all he’s saying. Might have been just a database issue when they sent it out.

  12. Posted by Matt | June 19th, 2009 at 1:52 pm

    Christ people, have a sense of humour… you all sound like Victor Meldrew.

  13. Posted by free iphone 3GS 4u | June 19th, 2009 at 1:53 pm

    Fact of the matter is you should be able to remember to get your Father a Father’s Day card without Moonpig reminding you!!

    Even if it’s too late to get one from Moonpig they are not the only retailer of Father’s Day cards. If you can’t be bothered going to the shops to get a card for your Father he probably realises you are a crap child and won’t be expecting one anyway!

  14. Posted by bananaman | June 19th, 2009 at 2:07 pm

    # Posted by James | June 19th, 2009 at 12:52 pm

    link http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/3190327.stm

    That article was from 2003!!!! Seriously….a lot has changed since then!!!

  15. Posted by The Real Bob | June 19th, 2009 at 2:09 pm

    Is Moonpig in some way related to Moon Cat (or Beryl Reid for that matter)?

  16. Posted by Ian | June 19th, 2009 at 2:18 pm

    The last stats I saw was that 98% of first class mail gets delivered the next day.

  17. Posted by cooki2222 | June 20th, 2009 at 1:09 am

    re: Sam

    Ul prob find that they sent it out much earlier but it didnt get delivered until that time due to hotmail being a piece of shit

  18. Posted by Namer | June 21st, 2009 at 2:46 am

    Bullshit.

  19. Posted by Claire Parker | August 28th, 2009 at 9:18 am

    Dear All

    Did I miss something here but the
    original email shows 2 destinctive dates
    one of the 17th when it was received and one of the 21st
    in the top right hand corner which is the date of Fathers day

    Puting aside the slightly misleading wording of the email
    it’s obvious that you had quite a few days to send the card
    via Moonpig or by doing it yourself.

    But then what do I know, I’m only a woman.

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