Massive ice cream-related terror attack foiled in Glasgow shopping centre

October 10th, 2011 19 Comments By Andy Dawson

55940313 chris white daughter Massive ice cream related terror attack foiled in Glasgow shopping centre The war against terror is a serious business and intelligence is one of our most powerful weapons. We need to be vigilant about any potential threat, no matter how small and insignificant it seems. You know, like little girls eating ice creams in shopping centres.

Fortunately, in the Braehead shopping centre near Scotland’s popular ‘Glasgow’, there is a security guard who is aware of the threat of the tiny girl-children. He recently approached the four-year-old child’s ‘father’ (probably some kind of terrorist operative codename) and insisted that he stop taking photographs of the girl as the ‘father’ did so as his ‘daughter’ (potential suicide bomber) sat and ate an ice cream. As you can see from the mobile phone snap in question, she is being incredibly well-behaved – reason enough to raise suspicion.

The ‘father’, who calls himself ‘Chris White’, said that the security guard told him that taking pictures in the shopping centre was illegal and that he should delete the pictures at once.

The police then became involved and ‘White’ also alleges that the an officer claimed that under the Prevention of Terrorism Act he was within in his rights to confiscate the mobile phone on which the potentially lethal pictures were taken. Sounds reasonable. After all, we can’t be too careful.

A spokesman for Braehead said…

“Staff at an ice cream stall in Braehead became suspicious after they saw a male shopper taking photographs at their counter. The staff thought the man had also been taking photographs of them and they alerted one of the centre’s security staff.

The member of security staff approached the man and politely asked if he had been taking photographs. Because of the nature of the incident, police became involved and also spoke to the man. Our priority is always to maintain a safe and enjoyable environment for all of our shoppers and retailers. The member of our security staff acted in good faith.

We have a ‘no photography’ policy in the centre to protect the privacy of staff and shoppers and to have a legitimate opportunity to challenge suspicious behaviour if required. However, it is not our intention to – and we do not – stop innocent family members taking pictures.”

Thanks to the quick thinking of the security guard and the belt-and-braces policies of Braehead shopping centre, we can all sleep safely in our beds tonight. We trust that ‘Chris White’ and his ‘child’ are now being monitored around the clock by the SAS…

Comments (19) Jump to most recent comment
  1. I do hope that these sneaky little gits are deported ASAP well done to all the staff at Braehead. Rab C Nesbit can now sleep safe in his bed knowing Glasgow is safe

  2. Posted by OP October 10, 2011 at 2:12 pm

    Heavy handed? Yes.

    But the security staff are perfectly in the right to stop photographs being taken in what is legally a private area. I did a website for a shopping centre once and had to get centre management to tell the security people to leave me alone when I was taking internal photographs.

  3. Posted by The Real Bob October 10, 2011 at 2:17 pm

    I did a security guard once and had to get the police to tell her to leave me alone, there were no internal photographs though.

  4. Posted by Another Andrew October 10, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    Well, they can chuck you out. But that’s all they can do.

  5. Posted by Yodhe October 10, 2011 at 2:19 pm

    What a numptie that security guard seems, one of those “petty tyrants” who doesn’t seem to have the intelligence and/or education to appreciate the concept of the “spirit of the law”.

  6. Posted by james Dewitt October 10, 2011 at 2:23 pm

    It’s not illegal to take photographs anywhere you are allowed to go. But of course if a security guard asks you to leave you have to leave.

  7. Posted by Dan Green October 10, 2011 at 3:04 pm

    I took a photograph once and no one batted an eyelid!

    Admitedly it was at my mothers house for her 70th birthday party.

  8. Posted by Angry of Scotland October 10, 2011 at 3:10 pm

    We have a ‘no photography’ policy in the centre …However, it is not our intention to – and we do not – stop innocent family members taking pictures.”

    Really? That’s nice and clear then.

    Still, its Glasgow; braincells are in short supply, most of them having been picked in Buckfast.

  9. Posted by Dick October 10, 2011 at 3:26 pm

    > We have a ‘no photography’ policy in the centre

    Presumably they do not have CCTV then. Ideal for a nicking spree. In fact, if someone gets caught on CCTV, they should sue them for taking their photograph, thus breaking their ‘no photography’ policy.

  10. Posted by Jules Jitsu October 10, 2011 at 3:40 pm

    I’d be more suspicous of the staff at the Ice Cream shop, why are they so concerned their pictures might be taken, did ‘Chris’ the photgrapher by any chance work in benefits?

    Just one of many thoughts that passed through my tiny brain, along with why ‘Chris’ felt the need to inform the guard he had uploaded the pictures to FB (which is when he got nicked)?

    I dunno eh!

  11. Posted by Ken October 10, 2011 at 3:44 pm

    Sounds a bit like a “Jobs Worth” scenario. Where is Ester Rantzen when you need her!!

  12. Posted by Ross October 10, 2011 at 3:44 pm

    It is in no way “illegal”, it might not be allowed by the centre management but it certainly isn’t illegal.
    The security guard has no right to make you delete the photos and nor do the police.
    As soon as the police mentioned the Prevention of Terrorism Act, I would have asked them exactly which sections of the act they were referring to – they wouldn’t have had a clue.

  13. Posted by Rob October 10, 2011 at 5:16 pm

    We have a ‘no photography’ policy in the centre [...] we do not – stop innocent family members taking pictures.”

    You can’t have it both ways.

  14. Posted by Zeddy October 10, 2011 at 6:28 pm

    @Angry of Scotland: “Still, its Glasgow; braincells are in short supply, most of them having been picked in Buckfast.”

    Been on the sauce yourself, then?

  15. Posted by Nick T October 10, 2011 at 6:39 pm

    Chris should have worn a UK Border Agency badge. Shopping centre “security guards” (i.e janitors) would have avoided him like the plague itself.

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  17. Posted by keith October 15, 2011 at 11:10 am

    oo dear int it awfull,It is a shame

  18. Posted by simon October 15, 2011 at 11:13 am

    thi dint say that when filmin fa x-facta

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