Man jailed after ‘ambitious’ gold-making plan turns to…

October 20th, 2011 8 Comments By Andy Dawson

 Man jailed after ambitious gold making plan turns to... In these trying times, we’re all looking for new and original ways to make some extra money – but trying to turn human faeces into GOLD? That’s a new one on us.

But that was the grand plan of Paul Moran of Enniskillen, Northern Ireland. Sadly, his big dream turned to, erm, shit, when his amateur alchemy led to a fire that caused over £3,000 worth of damage to the block of flats where he resided.

A court heard that Moran left his own poo, along with other waste products such as fertilizer on a heater as part of an attempt to turn them into gold. Let’s be honest – we’ve ALL wondered if it was possible, but not many of us have had the wherewithal to actually have a stab at it.

Moran has been jailed for three months after admitting charges of arson and endangering the lives of others. His barrister described him a man of ‘considerable intellectual ability’ but added that he had problems battling drug abuse. “Shit for brains” might have been more appropriate.

Comments (8) Jump to most recent comment
  1. Posted by Phil October 20, 2011 at 2:13 pm

    “His barrister described him a man of ‘considerable intellectual ability’”

    Really…. I can think of far better ways of describing this guys intelligence!

  2. Posted by Boris Ziraleet Johnson October 20, 2011 at 4:59 pm

    I am impressed that there is a stock photo of a lovely gold plated turd.

    Has Paul published his method or have the establishment covered up all of his good work? I am keen to put my wealth to work on another investment opportunity.

  3. Posted by Dick October 20, 2011 at 7:53 pm

    Shit = humanure = crops = money = gold.

  4. Posted by Andy October 21, 2011 at 9:25 am

    Step 1: Shit
    Step 2: ??????
    Step 3: PROFIT!

  5. Posted by T October 21, 2011 at 2:15 pm

    Shocked there are golden turd photos? They sell them here in Japan. Not the photos but the actual thing (a turd made of gold)

  6. Posted by Mr Greggles October 22, 2011 at 9:59 am

    I thought it was the iPhone 5

  7. Posted by Mr. Impeccable October 24, 2011 at 10:41 am

    I will tell you what you can make from faeces and manure that the Irish sometimes like to use in the past! Explosives!

  8. Posted by william gomez October 26, 2011 at 2:33 am

    i was great and and he was intellent ……

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