Kellogg’s cutting Coco Pops sugar levels by… not much really

August 4th, 2010 15 Comments By Andy Dawson
cocopops 216x300 Kelloggs cutting Coco Pops sugar levels by... not much really

Chocolate-flaunting twat

The Fun Prevention Officers have had their way once again – Kellogg’s are reducing the sugar content in four of their Coco Pops cereals by 15%.

It’s bad news for those of us you enjoy feeding your kids huge bowlfuls of the stuff before sitting back and watching them go batshit mental as a result of the cascading sugar rush, sometimes filming the resulting mayhem to put on YouTube.

But it’s probably good news for the kids themselves and people who make their living from broadcasting the myth that obesity is a bad thing. At present Coco Pops contain 35% sugar, but following the reduction, the level will go down to 29.75 %. Hang on – that’s still fucking LOADS! In fact it’s double the amount recommended by the killjoy Boffins™ at the Food Standards Agency.

Here at Bitterwallet, we’re all in favour of keeping children healthy and stopping them from enjoying themselves. As such, we’re in talks with a host of breakfast cereal manufacturers about launching our new range of ‘Morning Jamies’ – a Jamie Oliver-shaped cereal made from chalk, cork and cement. No sugar and the kids are filled up for the whole day.

Comments (15) Jump to most recent comment
  1. Posted by mike August 4, 2010 at 11:06 am

    Did you know Coco Chanel invented Coco Pops

  2. Posted by bawbag August 4, 2010 at 11:07 am

    Ahh Muesli Enhancers, tasty :-p

  3. Posted by Monkey August 4, 2010 at 11:28 am

    Coco Pops look like little pieces of shit and taste like little pieces of shit.

  4. Posted by Nobby August 4, 2010 at 11:29 am

    Do Morning Jamies make your kid talk like a mockney cunt?

  5. Posted by IfYouCopyMyNameYouAreGayIsGay August 4, 2010 at 11:32 am

    Looking down from miles on up in the sky, the Pakistani floods look like a bowl of coco pops.

  6. Posted by Alex August 4, 2010 at 11:50 am

    “Kellogg’s are reducing the sugar content in four of their Coco Pops cereals by 15%.”

    “At present Coco Pops contain 35% sugar, but following the reduction, the level will go down to 29.75 %”
    35-29.75 = a reduction of 5.25% not 15%

  7. Posted by Stewie Griffin August 4, 2010 at 11:53 am

    Alex, did you go to school?….

    35% – 15% = 29.75%

  8. Posted by Tommy August 4, 2010 at 11:57 am

    Alex:

    15% of 35% is 5.25%

    Classic marketeers trick that one.

  9. Posted by the mighty fox August 4, 2010 at 11:59 am

    cocopops=pebbledashed bowl

  10. Posted by Mark August 4, 2010 at 12:12 pm

    Do Morning Jamies give your kids a fat tongue?

  11. Posted by -] August 4, 2010 at 12:22 pm

    Definitely a classic marketeers trick.

    In reality they will be made up of 5% less sugar than before.

  12. Posted by Rhinestone August 4, 2010 at 12:23 pm

    Morning Jamies sound awesome.

  13. Posted by Josh August 4, 2010 at 12:59 pm

    “Definitely a classic marketeers trick.

    In reality they will be made up of 5% less sugar than before.”

    No, the reduction of sugar is NOT 5%.

    It is 15% as the article says…

    With your logic, if they completely removed all sugar from the product then they would have reduced the sugar content by 35%…. erm.. no.

  14. Posted by Stu August 4, 2010 at 3:33 pm

    Don’t worry, like Lilt they’ll soon realise that they can replace with Artificial Sweeteners which have been linked with heart problems and the like (not to mention that they apparently stimulate appetite in a similar way to MSG)

  15. Posted by zeddy August 4, 2010 at 6:19 pm

    Fuck all that! Buy Rice Crispies and a 1kg block of Dairy Milk. Melt choc and pour over rice crispies. Eat immediately with no need for milk.

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