Idiot religious people complain about Pret’s crisps

February 4th, 2013 21 Comments By Mof Gimmers

 Idiot religious people complain about Prets crisps

Christianity is so feeble and fragile that it can’t cope with anything. So weak is the Christian spirit that Pret A Manger’s ‘Virgin Mary’ crisps caused them to actually make a complaint.

As such, the crisps have been withdrawn from sale.

Now, of course, there’ll be people out there who will say ‘there’d be uproar if they were called Mohammed crisps!’ or some such, but they’re idiots as well. That’s because we’re talking about crisps. Crisps called ‘Virgin Mary’. They’re not called ‘Buddha Jizz’ or ‘Ramadanadingdong’ or anything.

Either way, weedy Pret have decided that these spicy tomato crisps (hence the name – it is a play on a Bloody Mary cocktail) should be taken off the shelves because they don’t won’t to make Jesus’s followers cry all the holy water out of their faces.

A company spokesperson said: “It didn’t take many complaints. It’s the strength of feeling that’s behind them that’s important. For the sake of a particular flavour of crisps, we don’t want anyone offended.”

Pret put out a statement too, saying: “Clive [Schlee, Pret's CEO] has taken your advice and decided to remove all of the crisps from our shops,” the complaint response said. “We will be donating the unsold crisps to homeless charities that we support across the country. We do listen and we have tried to react quickly.”

Jesus wept.

Comments (21) Jump to most recent comment
  1. Posted by Me February 4, 2013 at 3:14 pm

    God i hate religious idiots

  2. Posted by Nick February 4, 2013 at 3:18 pm

    fucking fucktards.

  3. Posted by oliverreed February 4, 2013 at 3:21 pm

    Somebody must dies for this outrage, oh wait – it’s Christianity, I’ll move along now.

  4. Posted by tcs February 4, 2013 at 3:29 pm

    They should re-brand them as “Jesus Chrisps”.

    And put a picture of a big cock and balls on the front of them.

  5. Posted by jokester February 4, 2013 at 3:42 pm

    If you could reason with religious people, there would be no religious people…

  6. Posted by noshit February 4, 2013 at 3:45 pm

    I’m a religious person. But i ain’t a virgin and I don’t give a fuck about Mary.

  7. Posted by Inspector Gadget February 4, 2013 at 3:52 pm

    Straight out of the 1st chapter of ‘Viral Marketing for Dummies’

  8. Posted by JonB February 4, 2013 at 4:09 pm

    That’s a lot of hate for “religious” people up there ^.

    “Christianity is so feeble and fragile that it can’t cope with anything”

    Actually Christians don’t make as much fuss as many other minority groups and take a lot of intolerance and insults with regards to their faith without complaint.

  9. Posted by Alexis February 4, 2013 at 4:43 pm

    I thought they were cherry crisps. Yuck

  10. Posted by LancerVancer February 4, 2013 at 6:03 pm

    Hahahahahaha. Very funny.

    All religions suck balls. Christianity is no different.

    Flex wit da ‘erb n’ chill wit da weed.

  11. Posted by zeddy February 4, 2013 at 7:14 pm

    Pretentious cunts.

    Tomato ketchup with chilli?

    No, no we need to call them something exotic.

    As I said, cunts.

  12. Posted by The NME Editor February 4, 2013 at 8:29 pm

    Another Mof Gimmers anti-religious rant. Clearly his prayers to get the NME gig went unanswered.

  13. Posted by bah humbug February 4, 2013 at 8:32 pm

    NME is a fucking rag these days…sure Mof couldn’t make it much worse.

  14. Posted by Aunt Bessie February 5, 2013 at 12:48 am

    Religion = a collection of old fairytales that only gullible wank splashes will believe.

  15. Posted by Terry February 5, 2013 at 12:41 pm

    We don’t won’t people getting offended now…

  16. Posted by jokester February 5, 2013 at 1:35 pm

    “I’m a religious person. But i ain’t a virgin and I don’t give a fuck about Mary.”

    If you are a christian then your own religion says you will go to hell then lol

  17. Posted by Rich February 5, 2013 at 1:47 pm

    “We will be donating the unsold crisps to homeless charities that we support across the country. We do listen…”

    No you don’t – you’re just gonna go and offend a load of homeless people now?

    Jesus, some people!

  18. Posted by noshit February 5, 2013 at 6:55 pm

    I am your enemy, I am your God.

  19. Posted by Sicknote February 6, 2013 at 10:40 am

    Religion was created to control the masses and god does probably not exist.

  20. Posted by Archbishop of Canterbury February 8, 2013 at 3:51 pm

    Bless! You gotta love these non-bible bashing atheists.

    Atheists first commandment? Thou shalt not worship religion.

    Atheists second commandment? Thou shalt be free of all religious commandments and be free to, er , listen to me telling you what to do.

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