HotUKDeals Of The Day – Monday 15th June
By Andy Dawson
It’s Man Monday here at Deals Of The Day and we’ve got a whole host of bargains that will help you feel like a rugged, rough, tough, todger-waving bloke. Just like that Jason Statham, that David Walliams or er, that Alan Carr.
The bargains are all direct from the forums at HotUKDeals, although we overheard some bloke going on about them while we were snorting up some A-grade Columbian off a model’s back in Tizer’s nightclub in Nuneaton at 1.45am this morning. Raaarrrrgggh!
Kicking the fuck off then, some grooming products… sorry, shaving products. What the fuck is grooming anyway if there isn’t a pony or a paedo in the room? Raaarrrrgggh! Shaving products, all at a pound a bash.
To be more specific, it’s a range of gels, creams and balms, all made by the Real Shaving Company. Got that… real shaving, so you’d better use a cut throat razor in conjunction with them or your balls will shrink the fuck off. Raaarrrrgggh!
Next comes the ultimate macho cop series. We’re talking of course about Starsky & Hutch. If you thought we were about to wax lyrical about Ashes To Ashes then think again. A show named after a David Bowie song? David Bowie, the cross-dressing make-up wearer? Do us a titting favour.
No, we’re on about the show that was so on the man-money that when it came to doing a 21st century Hollywood remake, all Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson could do was take the piss like a couple of kids. So then… all four series of Starsky & Hutch on 20 DVDs for only £13.95. Raaarrrrgggh!
Lastly, some proper man food. Baked beans. Heinz baked beans to be precise. Suitable for any occasion and you can have them hot or cold. Put ‘em on your toast or just drink them straight down out of the can. Then wipe your mouth on your sleeve and get on with whatever the fuck you were doing before the beans.
Right now, right fucking now, you can get two four-packs of these bad ass beans for just £3 – that works out at… actually, screw it, we’re too macho for maths today. You work it. Or ask a copper, you fucking nark. Raaarrrrgggh!
(deals found by HUKD members grex9101, andywedge and Longman240. Raaarrrrgggh!)
Posted in Deal roundup June 15th, 2009 | 6 Comments
feral trolley of the week
And my comments are moderated for profanity? If you were a real man Andy, you wouldn’t ever let that ‘cream’ anywhere near your face having used sand paper to remove the hairs from your face, you wouldn’t watch Starsky and Hutch, you’d be out there re-enacting the scenes in your Capri, and you would throw the cans of beans at the wife to cook for you, that’s a real man. Raaarrrrgggh!
You write like a 5 year old, hope you havn’t given up the day job.
It’s called parody you dead, Russian tit-end.
[...] a model’s back in Tizer’s nightclub in Nuneaton at 1.45am this morning. Raaarrrrgggh!” HotUKDeals Of The Day – Monday 15th June, by Andy Dawson, Bitterwallet, June 15, [...]
[...] yesterday’s swaggering macho overload, Deals Of The Day has scrubbed the stale whisky off its tongue before looking itself up and down in [...]
…this article is total class, talk about good quality content. I also have to say that the writer shows a very creative use of grammar and a natural ability to spew out engaging text, which I for one find very refreshing.
Without a doubt, it shows that the staff at HUKD have meatballs the size of Pluto, well done!!!!!