Holy romance! We’re less than five weeks away from the next major opportunity for the card and gift manufacturers to pick our already-addled pockets. Of course we’re talking about Valentines Day.

In keeping with the love vibe that is flooding Bitterwallet at the mo, here’s some chick-flavoured gift ideas for those ladies you love, like or merely tolerate. All sourced with help from the beautiful people at HotUKDeals…

Hey guys – what do all girls like? Uh, is it… pink stuff? Hell yeah. What else do they love? DVDs! Of course. What else do they love??? Skinflintery!

So get yourself a pink DVD player for just a fiver. Then maybe, just maybe, you could spend another couple of quid on a DVD for her to watch on it. She’ll put out for sure.
(deal found by sconto)

If a fiver is more than you’re willing to pay, how does 49p sound instead? Thought so. For that, you’re looking at bagging yourself a 280g bar of Cadbury’s Dairy Milk.

If you’ve missed the Dairy Milk scare stories in the press today, turns out that the chocolate contains milk. Hope that’s not alarmed too many of you. Wouldn’t want a tirade of curse-words coming our way for no good reason would we?
(deal found by ascookie)

Lastly, if you’re a complete bastard and looking for a way to get out of a shrivelled-up relationship, we’ve got just the thing for you. The Slim-Fast Calorie And Fat Unit Counter Book by Rebecca Rose.

Just 10p. Ten poxy pence. Hand it over to her and then duck. But have your bag packed before you do.
(deal found by Ilovelilac)