Hans Brinker – “best hotel in the world” is the “worst hotel ever”

June 2nd, 2011 1 Comment By Paul Smith

Bitterwallet Hans Brinker hotel Amsterdam Hans Brinker   best hotel in the world is the worst hotel ever

Looking for a hostel in Amsterdam? No need to read up about the Hans Brinker Budget Hotel on TripAdvisor – the hotel’s website will leave you in no doubt what to expect when you check-in:

Hans Brinker Budget Hotel, Amsterdam services and amenities include:

• A basement bar with limited light and no fresh air.
• A concrete courtyard where you can relax and enjoy whatever sunshine is able to pass the high buildings on either side on the extremely infrequent days when it’s actually sunny.
• An elevator that almost never breaks down between floors.
• A bar serving slightly watered down beer.
• Amusing witticisms and speculations about former guests’ sexual preferences scrawled on most surfaces.
• The Hans Brinker Budget Hotel, Amsterdam Luxury Ambassadorial Suite (featuring the Hans Brinker’s one and only bath-tub).
• Doors that lock.

All of which goes to explain why a bed will cost you as little as £20 per night. As for Hans Brinker’s TripAdvisor rating, in case you’re still interested – it scores 58% overall, with reviews ranging in typical TripAdvisor style from “the best hotel in the world” to “this is the worst hotel ever”.

Comments (1) Jump to most recent comment
  1. Posted by Jo June 2, 2011 at 12:53 pm

    Tha Hans Brinker hostel is hillariously overly-honest about its facilities. I quite happily stayed there on a university trip a few years ago and my experience I have to say was good. I’m one to get homesick easily and I was pretty much determined to hate the trip but it was compulsory. However, it was impossible not to enjoy my stay there.

    It’s a real artsy-fartsy kind of place where they have an ongoing joke about being ‘accidentally’ eco-friendly in that they are so lacking in resources- they sell lots of merchandise in the shop with those sorts of slogans.

    There is a nightclub downstairs where the decoration consists of graffiti carved into the black foam-like walls. It also has stripper poles and mirrors. They have ‘happy hour’ at the bar every day where drinks are buy 1 get 2 free which is nice. I remember hanging out with a bunch of german students who were really cheery and friendly when I was there which was nice- a few of them were pretty hot. I think the Hans Brinker attracts a certain type of person which makes for a relaxing, chilled-out atmosphere.

    To be honest, I had no problems when I stayed there but if you’re used to luxurious hotels it would certainly bother you. I think the way they market it prepares for you the worst so when you get there…it’s not actually anywhere near as bad as you expected. I also had no problems with hot water.

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