Hair-raising review for man cream…

April 13th, 2012 39 Comments By Andy Dawson

If you’re planning on buying some Veet men’s hair removal cream in the near future, you should carefully heed these words of warning from an Amazon reviewer before you apply the stuff to your men’s body. It makes for grim reading…

Screen Shot 2012 04 13 at 16.12.121 Hair raising review for man cream...

Comments (39) Jump to most recent comment
  1. Posted by Boris April 13, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    Disgusting! Imagine what would happen if I accidently put it on a fox.

  2. Posted by The Real Bob April 13, 2012 at 4:32 pm

    That’s given me a good hearty guffaw before the pub, and killed a couple of minutes whilst I forwarded it on to others and typed this. Still 28 minutes until pub though.

  3. Posted by Boris April 13, 2012 at 4:34 pm

    What about a lovely poem then The Real Bob?

  4. Posted by Ken April 13, 2012 at 5:14 pm

    @Boris, stop pretending like you know what he feels like waiting for the pub. you cunt.
    @therealbob, i know what you feel like, i really do, *tears*

  5. Posted by Red Ken April 13, 2012 at 5:21 pm

    oi! Ken. Stop pretending to me you cockknocker. Sorry Boris for this person. It’s not the real me, I’m the real me.

  6. Posted by WFT April 13, 2012 at 5:25 pm

    WFT Is dis real??

    I don’t have a hairy knob.

    Are you supposed to have a hairy knob??

    Mangarden yes. Hairy knob no.

  7. Posted by Boris April 13, 2012 at 5:51 pm

    Oh no! Not the me, real me, Ken, Red Ken, real bob, unreal bob, metaphysical myself, virtual fred scenario all over again.

    I must go and lie down.

  8. Posted by Boris April 13, 2012 at 5:52 pm

    Fox
    Box
    Cocks

    Blow in box.
    Cocks in fox.

    Rocks on Jocks
    With cocks in socks

    Cocks with pox
    And cocks in fox.

    Fox with cocks
    In ‘fox on fox’.

    Chicks with dicks come.
    Chicks with cocks cum.
    Chicks with dicks and
    Jocks with cocks cum

    Look, sir. Look, sir.
    Massive cocks, sir.
    Lets suck dicks with
    Licks on rocks, sir.
    Let’s do tricks with
    Chicks in frocks, sir.

    First, I’ll make a
    Dick trick lick stack.
    Then I’ll make a
    Quick lick cock rack.

    You can make a
    Sick dick chick stack.
    You can make a
    Lick cock stack.

    And here’s a
    New dick, Mr Ox….
    Cocks in chicks
    And chicks on fox.
    Fox with rocks
    On dicks and cocks.
    Dicks and cocks
    In Ox on fox

  9. Posted by Boris April 13, 2012 at 5:54 pm

    Now we cum too
    Pricks and fox, sir.
    Try to do this
    Mr Ox, sir ….

    Cocks on fox dick.
    Cocks on jocks cock
    Six slick dicks lick.
    Six slick chicks cock.

    Please, sir. I don’t
    Lick this dick, sir.
    My tongue isn’t
    Quick or slick, sir.
    I get all those
    Dicks and cocks, sir,
    Mixed up with the
    Chicks and jocks, sir.
    I can’t do it, Mr Fox, sir.

    I’m so sorry,
    Mr Ox sir,

    Here’s an easy
    Game to play
    Here’s an easy
    Thing to say …

    Big cocks,
    Blue cocks.
    Whose cocks?
    Sue’s cocks.

    Who screws whose cocks?
    Sue screws Hugh’s cocks.

    Who sees who screw?
    Whose big cocks, sir?
    You see Sue screw
    Sue’s new fox, sir.

    That’s not easy,
    Mr. Ox sir.

    Who comes?
    Crow comes.
    Slow blow Crow cums.

  10. Posted by Boris April 13, 2012 at 5:55 pm

    I think you get the idea where that one is going.

  11. Posted by Dr Seuss's Lawyer April 13, 2012 at 6:08 pm

    Hmmmmm.

  12. Posted by Jerec April 13, 2012 at 6:16 pm

    This is a great example of why this site needs a registration to post.

  13. Posted by zeddy April 13, 2012 at 8:02 pm

    @Jerec: and you are the reason why abortion should be legal after birth…

    Go Boris!

  14. Posted by Biff Walnut April 13, 2012 at 8:20 pm

    Spark plug
    yolk
    milky milky
    fungal
    mustard
    cloth
    dampness
    a sickly tramp with a bag of wall plugs
    moo
    turkish delight
    grated mixed cheeses
    carpet offcuts
    There was sixteen of them, my eyes started to burn and seepage was oozing out of the eyelid of the dog, suddenly a bang! Then thin wafer biscuits broke the arm of a looting dental practitioner

  15. Posted by dai April 13, 2012 at 8:54 pm

    @Biff Walnut – just a stab in the dark here, mate, but you vote for UKIP don’t you?

  16. Posted by Biff Walnut April 13, 2012 at 9:00 pm

    As I stare into the fire
    And watch the flames grow higher
    I’m suddenly aware that I’m beginning to perspire
    However much I try
    To brush the sweat aside
    IT CONSTANTLY RE-GROUPS AT THE BASE OF MY SPINE”

    “As I stare into the fire
    And try to get this hen to boil
    I’d dearly love to fry
    But I cannot find the oil
    However much I try
    To get the thing to fry
    I CANNOT LOCATE THE SPRY CRISP AND DRY

  17. Posted by Capability Bowes April 13, 2012 at 9:21 pm

    Thank fuck im a woman now.

  18. Posted by PFC Hudson April 13, 2012 at 10:22 pm

    Did you find this all on your own or did you learn about it after reading today’s (13/4/12) B3ta newsletter?

    If it was the second reason shouldn’t you have given them credit for the source?

  19. Posted by Biff Walnut April 13, 2012 at 10:28 pm

    @PFC Hudson
    Go tell the police then!

  20. Posted by PFC Hudson April 14, 2012 at 9:20 am

    @Biff Walnut

    No need for you to be such a cock is there!

    It’s simply common courtesy to acknowledge another website if you’ve found something there and wish to refer to it on your own blog, otherwise it looks like you’re trying to imply you found it yourself

  21. Posted by Paul Nikkel April 14, 2012 at 9:38 am

    No idea where Andy came across it. I would guess Twitter as he’s a “heavy user”. As you know from reading Bitterwallet our habit is to link to a source if there is one so it’s not like we lack common courtesy. Plus we are all b3ta fans so we wouldn’t snub b3ta if it was seen there. I doubt b3ta was the first to find it either…

  22. Posted by PFC Hudson April 14, 2012 at 9:48 am

    I didn’t say there were the first but considering it was only in their newsletter yesterday that was the most probable location

  23. Posted by Boris April 14, 2012 at 9:53 am

    I have a foolproof theory about lack of source citation; none was needed. Is “Andrew” Andy Dawson? We need to see his cock and bollocks just to be sure.

  24. Yeah, it was all over Twitter before the B3ta newsletter came out. LOSERS.

  25. Posted by Capability Bowes April 14, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    I see you’re back trolling this site again Sam. Measures are being taken.

    Personally, I’m with Jerec on this one,.

  26. Posted by Who is Sam? April 14, 2012 at 4:32 pm

    Who is Sam?
    What measures are being taken?
    Is it the same Sam as in Sam I am?

  27. Posted by Capability Bowes April 14, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    He thinks he’s the “Big I am”, certainly. Actually he’s a twat. In a hat.

  28. Posted by Boris April 14, 2012 at 5:41 pm

    Is that request for a new poem Cape? I know that you must have enjoyed the last one.

  29. Posted by Commander Sela April 14, 2012 at 6:03 pm

    Oh Boris you cunt. Your poems are shit. I hate you. Andy’s alright.

  30. Posted by Boris April 14, 2012 at 7:25 pm

    I’m sorry you don’t like the poem Sela. I have been working on it for many years, it is probably hard to understand without the illustrations.

    Still, no need to hate me though; I am only trying to help.

    Do you mean Andy’s alright after his nob and bollocks accident? I do hope he is as I like him loads and I do not want his to suffer, even for comic effect.

    I hope I can count on you vote in the comming election Sela.

  31. Posted by Biff Walnut April 14, 2012 at 8:08 pm

    ngggggggghhh hmmmmmmmpppphhh (plop) cunts you all are cunts!

  32. Posted by Commander Data April 15, 2012 at 2:32 am

    The probable source location of this story is the ships computer.

  33. Posted by Deanna Troi April 15, 2012 at 2:34 am

    I like fat cocks.

  34. Posted by Mike Hock April 16, 2012 at 9:35 am

    This proves that Bitter Wallet has now discended into anarchy.

  35. Posted by Mike Hock April 16, 2012 at 9:40 am

    Men don’t buy hair removal cream.

  36. Posted by Gorgeous Spluff Knickers April 16, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    I used to know somebody that used to clip his hair with, surprisingly, clippers. Secretly his family used to clip the little dog that they owned (without a detachable head and a curious ability to look up). He would of course, then clip his hair, not knowing that the clips had been buzzing across the dog. Once their eldest daughter, sat down to clip the dog, but forgot to put the guard on, giving the dog a buzzed strip across it. He comes home, see’s dog with missing fur, works out what has been going on, and never cuts his hair again. Currently going around looking like a Latin footballer.

  37. Posted by SgtMunky April 16, 2012 at 1:30 pm

    LOL this guy is such a bull shitter, he wasn’t trying to clear his mangarden, he just grabbed a pot of something out the wifes/girlfriends/sisters cupboard to wank with

  38. Posted by Andrew's sister April 18, 2012 at 2:24 pm

    Sgt Munky is right. That’ll teach the pervy little sod. I’m fed up wearing knickers with Andrew’s jizz stains all over them.

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