Gold-plated Lampard iPods to become Hello Kitty iPods instead

July 30th, 2010 21 Comments By Andy Dawson

Screen shot 2010 07 30 at 11.21.47 Gold plated Lampard iPods to become Hello Kitty iPods insteadIt seemed that Frank Lampard had it all – if you count ‘it all’ as a handul of Premier League winner’s medals, shit-loads of money and Christine Bleakley hanging off him. The man just oozed success. But now it’s all starting to go a bit pear-shaped.

Firstly, there was his role in THAT footballing catastrophe in South America Southampton South Pacific South Africa this summer. Now comes the news that his exclusive range of 5,000 gold-plated iPods have flopped massively – they’re going to be stripped of their lovely gold and turned into Hello Kitty iPods instead.

The 24-carat iPod Touch with Lampard’s signature etched into the back was launched by Goldgenie (from off of Dragons’ Den once) and retailed for up to £599. But, either because times are hard or because no one in their right mind would want one, they have been a dismal flop.

The Sun tells of how the iPods will be “melted down”, but later in the story, a ‘source’ ‘says’: “It’s not exactly melting down – it’s a chemical process. But basically Goldgenie are recovering all the gold so they can use it again. They thought loads of people would want them during the World Cup but the backlash against England was so bad that they’ve had to scrap the whole thing.”

The only losers here are poorly children, as the iPods were on sale to raise funds for the Teenage Cancer Trust. No doubt Frank Lampard will dust himself down, pick himself back up and continue to baffle and delight football fans everywhere in equal measures for a few more years.

Hello Kitty was not available for comment.

Comments (21) Jump to most recent comment
  1. Posted by PokeHerPete July 30, 2010 at 12:04 pm

    What?! I thought I have one of his exclusive iPods but then again on closer inspection someone just wrote “TWAT” on mine in permanent marker.

  2. Posted by Jimmy8bit July 30, 2010 at 12:08 pm

    “Firstly, there was his role in THAT footballing catastrophe in South America this summer. ”

    South America?

    FAIL.

  3. Posted by StuPid July 30, 2010 at 12:10 pm

    That explains why England were so cr*p over the summer – they went to the wrong continent. I hear absolutely no overpaid over-pampered England players were in South Africa either.

  4. Posted by H to the Ello July 30, 2010 at 12:13 pm

    Sout America?!?

    ROFL:ROFL:LOL:ROFL:ROFL
    |
    L /———–
    LOL=== []\
    L \ \
    \___________\
    | |
    ————-/

  5. Posted by Nobby July 30, 2010 at 12:13 pm

    It would have been funnier if they made them into Jade Goody ones. Yes, they seriously have a Jade Goody range too.

  6. Posted by H to the Ello July 30, 2010 at 12:13 pm

    Damn it, my lolcopter has crashed :(

  7. Posted by Alex July 30, 2010 at 12:17 pm

    ROFLCOPTER fail!

    ——————————–

    Sout America?!?

    ROFL:ROFL:LOL:ROFL:ROFL
    |
    L /———–
    LOL=== []\
    L \ \
    \___________\
    | |
    ————-/

  8. Posted by Ben July 30, 2010 at 12:18 pm

    perhaps if he had spent less time in South America, he could have devoted more time to not cocking up the South African World Cup, which is he was also involved in. Shame to hear that his other project at the same time was a disaster. Perhaps if Frank were to focus on one sporting endeavour at a time, he might have more success?

    PS: BELM

  9. Posted by Nader July 30, 2010 at 12:34 pm

    My first article made it onto bitter wallet!!

  10. Posted by IfYouCopyMyNameYouAreGayIsGay July 30, 2010 at 12:35 pm

    Hold on a minute, I need to go get my lollerskates on!

  11. Posted by IfYouCopyMyNameYouAreGayIsGay July 30, 2010 at 12:36 pm

    @Nader,

    Brilliant – now alls you need to do is get your name read out on the radio,

    And nobody will STILL give a fuck who you are.

  12. Posted by IfYouCopyMyNameYouAreGayIsGayIsGay July 30, 2010 at 12:43 pm

    beam me up to the ROFLcopter

  13. Posted by Jase July 30, 2010 at 12:51 pm

    South America…either a typo, or a clever reference to that news article that used a picture of the wrong continent:
    http://i.huffpost.com/gen/175586/SOUTH-AFRICA.jpg

    I say typo, and a lazy one at that.

  14. Posted by Nader July 30, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    @ IfYouCopyMyNameYouAreGayIsGay

    Fuck off you mug

  15. Posted by DMcG1873 July 30, 2010 at 2:35 pm

    Overhyped and overpriced…bit like England’s golden generation of footballers.

  16. Posted by Ian July 30, 2010 at 2:38 pm

    WTF??

    IS DIS REAL??

  17. Posted by Nobby July 30, 2010 at 3:54 pm

    Who the fuck is this nader guy? I really care about who the fuck you are.

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