Everything Everywhere takes 4G trials to Cumbria’s lone smartphone

May 3rd, 2012 5 Comments By Mof Gimmers

everything everywhere Everything Everywhere takes 4G trials to Cumbrias lone smartphoneEven though Cumbria only has one smartphone and two computers (one of them being a Commodore 64), Everything Everywhere has decided to trial 4G LTE up there to use some of that 1800MHz spectrum band.

The trial will run until the end of July where it is hoped that Cumbria will be able to borrow some smartphones and tablet devices from nearby civilisation.

The service was switched on by the Secretary of State for Education, Michael Gove, who said: ”Cumbria has unique needs due to its sparse population and long distances, which 4G LTE will help overcome. Cumbria’s schools and educational opportunities will be revolutionised by this technology.”

Gove was then promptly surrounded by angry teachers who wanted to stab him up the arse with metre rulers.

Gove continued, with his eerily smooth face: ”Cumbria’s record number of small businesses will be transformed by this next generation technology. 4G will bring jobs to rural areas and all the benefits of super-fast broadband in education and health to its remote communities.”

Whether Everything Everywhere will get approval from Ofcom to continue using the 1800MHz band for 4G remains to be seen as there’s likely to be a few legal objections from rivals to come.

Comments (5) Jump to most recent comment
  1. Posted by The Real Bob May 3, 2012 at 4:19 pm

    Don’t mock Cumbria, it’s not their fault, do you realise how hard it is to type with that many toes on each hand?

  2. Posted by Christopher Robinson May 3, 2012 at 5:54 pm

    Please explain how 4g will do the following things:
    “Cumbria’s schools and educational opportunities will be revolutionised by this technology.”
    “4G will bring jobs to rural areas and all the benefits of super-fast broadband in education and health to its remote communities.””

  3. Posted by Boris May 3, 2012 at 7:12 pm

    Speaking as a Conservative I must say that Gove is a cunting twat.

  4. Posted by John Connor May 6, 2012 at 9:07 am

    I lived off the grid for years following the attempt on my life by Agent John Doggett off the X-Files and it never did me any harm.

    Now Cumbrians will be denied this opportunity by Mr Gove, if that is his real name.

    Skynet shill for sure.

  5. Posted by Skynet May 6, 2012 at 10:49 am

    Found you!

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