Guess what? Just when you thought it was OK to put the heating on for 2 minutes to stave off death, energy bills are set to increase AGAIN.

Ofgem chief executive Alistair Buchanan says that Britain’s planned power station closures will lead to more energy imports and customers paying more in the near future.

“There isn’t a single person or people to blame,’ said Buchanan, ‘In my view it was a single event – the financial crisis. Before the financial crisis the government had backed a visionary approach to energy on wind, water and nuclear… then came the financial tsunami.”

Funny that the Big Six energy companies managed to increase their profit margins by 733% in the middle of the ‘financial tsunami’ in 2011. What’s the betting they’ll find a way to profit from the shortage?

Anyway, surely it isn’t true that Britain can’t produce enough gas. What about Nigel Farage? Put a pipe up him, et voila: cue millions of old ladies sitting by toasty radiators, wearing shorts and Hawaiian shirts.