Commercial Break: Who really is Nigel Havers?

By Andy Dawson

Today sees the birthday of that old smoothie himself, Nigel Havers, as he oozes into the start of his 59th year on Mother Earth.

As a tribute, here’s a 1980s ad for a then-TSB-less Lloyds Bank, starring oily Havers and lovely lady Jan ‘Phwooaar’ Francis. But what is Nige’s role here?

Is he a stalker? After all, he seems to know that the lovely lady used Lloyds Bank when she bought his house off of him. How does he know that? Why should he care?

Is he a simpleton? After all, he doesn’t know how a debit card works. The tit!

Is he a mugger? After all, he’s hanging around the lovely lady as she uses the cash machine. The creepy prick!

No, as he proves with the ad’s punchline, he’s none of those things. He’s actually a smug twat, a role that Havers has perfected over the years. Happy birthday you crispy greaseball!

Tags: jan francis, lloyds bank, nigel havers
Posted in Commercial Break November 6th, 2009 | 8 Comments

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8 Responses to “Commercial Break: Who really is Nigel Havers?”

Posted by The Real Bob | November 6th, 2009 at 10:18 am

I’m Spartacus!
Posted by Pedant | November 6th, 2009 at 11:30 am

I’m Nigel Havers yes I’m the real Nigel Havers
all you other Nigel Havers are just imitating
so wont the real Nigel Havers please stand up
please stand up
please stand up
Posted by No Luke, I am your mother | November 6th, 2009 at 11:47 am

He was on the Sarah Whatever thingy Doctor Who spinoff last week. He was gonna marry her, but was really dead.

Bummer.
Posted by Fiyero | November 6th, 2009 at 6:10 pm

Nigel Havers is 60 so entering his 61st year on Mother earth surely?
Posted by CockFagFaceMonkeyEatsItOffYourChest | November 6th, 2009 at 6:59 pm

Yet another bitterwallet FAIL. Can’t even check their data before posting it.
Posted by Andy Dawson | November 6th, 2009 at 7:12 pm

Yesterday, Wikipedia said Nigel Havers would be 58 today, but today it’s got him as being 60. There are some other sources that claim he was born in 1951, while some say 1949.

If you’re reading this Nige, drop us a line and clear it up mate.
Posted by CockFagFaceMonkeyEatsItOffYourChest | November 6th, 2009 at 8:29 pm

Nothing to clear up. MY COUSIN NIGEL was born in 1949.

Get it right you bunch of losing tossbags.
Posted by CockFagFaceMonkeyEatsItOffYourChest | November 6th, 2009 at 8:29 pm

(I never said Havers)