Clump of hair found in Iceland beef

March 7th, 2013 18 Comments By Mof Gimmers

donald trump bad hair day 211x300 Clump of hair found in Iceland beef

Imagine buying some minced beef from Iceland, opening it up and finding a great clump of hair in it. It’d look like Donald Trump’s bumhole wouldn’t it? Did you know Donald combs his hair up from his arse, all the way up his back and over his head? That’s how he achieves his ‘look’.

Anyway, we’re talking about Iceland beef here, not Trump.

A mother called Trudy Stock (great, sturdy name) in Gosport, Hampshire said she found the offending clump after her seven-year-old daughter – Shani – found it, as they prepared their tea of £3 mince.

Stock said: “It’s completely traumatised [Shani] now. She was in bucket of tears. She was enjoying it until she found that and burst out crying.”

Is there anything worse than finding yourself in a bucket of tears, especially when you’ve been chewing a knot of weird hair? Welcome to the world of Donald Trump’s sexual partners then.

Iceland have of course apologised, and given Stock vouchers worth £30 by way of compensation. The retailer themselves said: “Iceland has apologised to the customer and offered a gesture of goodwill, and we will carry out an investigation with our supplier to determine how it happened.”
Donald Trump was unavailable for comment.
Comments (18) Jump to most recent comment
  1. Posted by chewbacca March 7, 2013 at 12:10 pm

    What sort of poor, benefits-funded, bottom of the barrel cunt buys mince from Iceland?

    Deserve all they fucking get, wankers.

  2. Posted by Justin Manchester AfterDark March 7, 2013 at 12:21 pm

    Nice snobbery, very understanding.

    They don’t ‘fucking get’ much, hence the Iceland purchase.

    Refuse the £30 and sue, obviously.

  3. Posted by chewbacca March 7, 2013 at 12:41 pm

    @Bieberpaedo

    You’ll find that better quality food can be obtained, and indeed, made from scratch, a LOT cheaper than buying from ready-meal purveyors like Iceland.

    It’s just that poor people lack the intelligence or the savvy to shop around, and, you know, actually cook. Of course, most of them are too fucking lazy to work, so cooking is probably too much of an effort for them too.

    Ready meals should be laced with cumulative poisons. We’d reduce the benefits bill in no time.

  4. Posted by kv March 7, 2013 at 12:43 pm

    horse hair?

  5. Posted by amazon zombie says March 7, 2013 at 12:59 pm

    Toupee or not Toupee?

    That is the question.

  6. Posted by Tweedskin March 7, 2013 at 1:10 pm

    Stick to a font Mof!!! You need to wrap the last paragraphs in a tag that has a CSS style rather than wrapping it in a which clearly doesn’t have the correct CSS style attributed to it.

    You div.

  7. Posted by Tweedskin March 7, 2013 at 1:11 pm

    And your comments section removes html!!! Let’s try that again….

    Stick to a font Mof!!! You need to wrap the last paragraphs in a tag that has a CSS style rather than wrapping it in a which clearly doesn’t have the correct CSS style attributed to it.

    You div.

  8. Posted by Tweedskin March 7, 2013 at 1:11 pm

    Bollocks…it’s too clever to be fooled by spaces.

  9. Posted by Kevin March 7, 2013 at 1:29 pm

    Iceland is easy to plan for is an excuse I’ve heard, you know a meal will cost £3 for a lasagne, £2 for the chips and boom you have a meal for a family. Not a good one but that’s very simple for someone to work out rather than getting all the constituent parts.
    It’s a weak excuse but it does make sense for people that are too lazy to plan ahead.

    Finding something in food isn’t new, it has always happens and considering the scale of production the things found in food are a microscopic number of cases in the industry. Doesn’t make it any better for the people finding it but it’s not a big thing.

  10. Posted by veedubjai March 7, 2013 at 1:42 pm

    Never seen straight hair from the genitalia area before, must be curly hair clumped up after some self-loving.

  11. Posted by chewbacca March 7, 2013 at 1:59 pm

    @Kevin

    Pretty much what I said.

    If people are too stupid to plan a simple meal, or too lazy, then they deserve horse, hair, faecal matter, or whatever else this processed shit contains.

    How these people can live with themselves when they’re killing their children is beyond me. High salt/sugar/fat, and a tacit understanding that “this” is how food works. A cardboard box and some plastic for a “round pound”.

    Some people should be fucking put down and their children adopted to some parents that give a fuck.

  12. Posted by Grammar Nazi March 7, 2013 at 2:21 pm

    There seem to be a lot of these “I found something in my food” stories coming out following the horsemeat business. What I want to know is how much investigation do the supermarkets do into the claims? I mean, £30 in vouchers would be pretty useful so could I just write a letter saying I found something or would they want more proof?

  13. Posted by Dacouch March 7, 2013 at 2:48 pm

    When they say hair, do they mean mane?

  14. Posted by Alexis March 7, 2013 at 4:04 pm

    Might do the kid some good to learn what meat is and where it comes from.

  15. Posted by Yosemite Slim March 7, 2013 at 7:13 pm

    If you read the article, the woman was preparing a meal using mince. Not lasagne etc. Which, even if it is frozen, counts as cooking, unless she planned to eat it raw.

    And as the last few weeks have shown, all the big supermarkets put the same shite in all the meal, waitrose comes out no better than Iceland does.

    Is summary, stop acting the worst kind of fucking inverted snobs and looking down your noses at someone who, unlike you, obviously doesn’t dine on caviar and Foie gras every day. Would you rather she just bought KFC or Burger King every night?

    I never realised just how bigoted so many people on this site are.

  16. Posted by kv March 8, 2013 at 1:03 am

    Kerry Katona who did their ads for a few years, is the perfect example of an Iceland customer.
    Do people really want to end up looking like her?

  17. Posted by Lord Snooty March 9, 2013 at 10:00 pm

    I once found a sapphire in my beluga caviar.

  18. Posted by Monkey Tennis March 12, 2013 at 10:30 am

    @kv

    I would imagine a lot of Iceland’s customers would relish eating Kerry Katona’s prawn ring.

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