We Really Want… an invisible umbrella

October 16th, 2014 8 Comments By Mof Gimmers

All the best gadgets are the ones that are thoroughly pointless. You don’t need a tablet. You could easily live without remote controls. So with that, let us get excited about the fancy, but ultimately pointless invisible umbrella.

Even though trad. arr. umbrellas work pretty fine on their own, there’s a Kickstarter project that has developed an umbrella that replaces waterproof fabric for a force field. You heard. A force field.

And it has already raised and surpassed its $10,000 goal by three times.

If you can’t be bothered watching the video, basically, the umbrella is a rod that comes in three models, which basically are different from each other due to battery life and length.

“It’s a real ‘invisible umbrella,’ which takes advantage of the air flow as shelter from the rain,” the campaign page says.

It’s basically a plastic rod with a motor inside that sucks air in one end and blows it out at the other, creating an air blade that redirects the rain away from you, and onto anyone walking by.

Now for some sentences with double entendres: Model A is designed for women and will be 12 inches long and last for 15 minutes. Model B will be 20 inches long and will blow stuff out of the end for half an hour. Model c is extendible to 32 inches and will give you 30 minutes of satisfaction while you grip the shaft.

Thing is, this is quite heavy and probably quite noisy, so why have all these people coughed up their money to fund it? Have they spotted another use for it? Maybe you can make a bong out of it or something sex related?

Or is it just a case of people being tired of drying umbrellas indoors or they’ve had enough of them blowing inside out on wet, windy days? Or is the funding propelled by tall people who are tired of getting an umbrella in the eye?

One thing’s for certain – they have some design work to do as currently, it looks really very ugly.

air umbrella 500x246 We Really Want... an invisible umbrella

If you want to find out more about it, visit the Kickstarter here.

We Really Want… a Synek beer machine!

July 2nd, 2014 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

beer 282x300 We Really Want... a Synek beer machine!All hail the Synek Kickstarter! Why? Well, this crowdfunder enables you to have any beer you want, at home, with the help of your computer. That’s nice isn’t it?

Obviously, you could just go to the shop and buy bottles of whatever your favourite tipple is, but this is for the homebrewer sort, who wants things a little different.

So, here’s the deal – you know what a growler is? Quiet at the back of class. A growler is a heavy glass jug that can store beer for transportation, which preserves some of the freshness. The Synek employs a plastic pouch, which has a tube system from your tap and can store one gallon of beer and is airtight so everything stays fresh.

You can fill it up with your homebrew or, if you prefer, waddle down the local with it and get them to fill it up with your favourite draught booze. Once you have a pouch full of liquid (seriously, stop sniggering at the back there), you pop it in Synek and you can then pull it straight from the tap.

While a growler keeps your beer for a couple of days, Synek reckons you can have lovely draught beer for up to a month. You can even keep your pouch in the fridge and swap one beer for another.

It’ll set you back $299 for the full shebang, which is roughly the same price as a fancy(ish) coffee machine.

If you’re already too drunk to concentrate on reading words, let this video explain what the Synek beer machine does (and enjoy Steve’s great sweary intro).

If you want to contribute to the Kickstarter and put some money up, click here.

We Really Want: Hologram phones!

June 4th, 2014 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

princess leia hologram 300x299 We Really Want: Hologram phones!While massive losers have been pining for hoverboards (seriously – you can’t skateboard, so what makes you think that travelling through the air on a plank is going to make any difference to you?), the smart folks have been jonesing for hologram stuff!

Hologram gadgets require sitting down and showing off, rather than breaking your ankle trying to impress people by doing preposterously named tricks invented by dribbling Californians.

Apparently, by 2015, we could live in a world that has phones that project 3D holograms into thin-air.

This is according to a company called Ostendo, who have the financial backing to go hell for leather on this one. And they’re in California and not a bunch of dribblers at all.

So what’s the deal? Well, 5,000ppi projectors the size of Rice Krispies are now powerful enough to control the colour, brightness and angle of individual beams of light across one million pixels. One chip is able to deliver a decent enough image, but adding more of them gives the opportunity for more complex and detailed images.

The Wall Street Journal has seen a demo which involving six chips beaming a spinning green dice in the air and, furthermore, no matter where it was viewed from, it was “consistent”.

It is still early doors, so the holograms are likely to be in 2D on release, but we’ll be able to project images onto nearby surfaces at sizes of up to 48 inches. Ostendo already has some big players in the tech world on board, so hopefully, there’s a load of really exciting things afoot.

Welcome to the HUVr. That’s a hoverboard which a team claims to have mastered, thereby making a load of Back to the Future fans’ dreams a reality.

In the video below, you’ll see a promotional stunt showing off the HUVr, with celebrities like Skateboarding legend Tony Hawk, musician Moby and rap god Schoolboy Q taking the thing for a ride.

The video assures us that we’re watching the real thing, but it clearly isn’t the case. First off, the celebrities involved send alarm bells off. Tony Hawk will do anything to promote his brand. Moby will do anything for money (remember when his ‘Play’ album soundtracked every single advert ever?) and Schoolboy Q is a rapper and everyone in hip hop knows that you don’t make money from records anymore, so you get paid elsewhere.

The project says:

“What began as a summer project in 2010 at the MIT Physics Graduate Program has evolved into one of the most exciting independent products to be developed out of MIT since the high-powered lithium-ion batteries developed by Yet-Ming Chiang in 2001. Our team consists of materials science, electricity & magnetism experts who’ve solved an important part of one of science’s mysteries: the key to antigravity.”

“The HUVr Board team ultimately aims to improve the efficiency, speed and sustainability of mass transportation. Yet rather than spend several more years closed off from the world while investing in research and development, the team and our world-class investors have worked to change the economics R&D by marketing this exciting consumer product in order to fund ongoing R&D.”

Eagle-eyed viewers will look toward the shadows in the video to see bits of bad editing but, if they could do this, surely it would be the most wonderful invention of a generation.

This sandwich is amazing. Just reading about it has given me seventeen heart-attacks. Delicious, dribbling heart-attacks.

the fat sandwich 500x333 Clog up your arteries with the finest sandwich in human history!

Want the huge array of ingredients for this 6 inches in diameter colon compacter? Here goes (deep breath): 2 rolls, 4 cheeseburgers, kebab meat, bacon, sausage, mozzarella sticks, chicken fingers, chicken nuggets, double cheesesteak, chicken cheesesteak, grilled chicken, mac n cheese bites, fried mushrooms, jalapeño poppers, bits of pizza, onion rings, hash browns, cheese slices, mayonnaise, ketchup and fries.

Get in our guts. NOW.

[BF]