We really want… Australian ketchup engineering!

January 21st, 2016 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

In the UK, if our condiments are either in bottles, or sachets. The latter are okay and all, but in Australia, they’ve got something brilliant! A miracle of design!

Nicked off Reddit, like everyone’s articles these days, we witnessed the wonder of product engineering that is the Australian ketchup dispenser, and we want them in the UK, now!

Look at this video. Just look at it!

While we’re getting sauce all over our fingers, or being suspicious that the ketchup in the bottle has been filled up with an inferior sauce, in Aus, they have these squeezable thing that is no doubt ten-a-penny over there, but a modern miracle compared to the absolute nonsense we use on these shores.

We want them. Give them to us. Going to a greasy spoon would be improved a hundredfold… apart from the rotten hangover you’ve taken in with you.

[via YouLikeItLikeWhat]

Where to buy Tom Daley’s frying pan

January 4th, 2016 2 Comments By Mof Gimmers

Olympic diver and trunk-botherer, Tom Daley, set the internet muttering with a photo of his magic frying pan. Now, these frying pans aren’t new and they’re not universally loved either, but it seems that this celebrity endorsement has worked, with people wanting in on the action.

So, here’s the shot of Daley and his pan.

frying pan 429x500 Where to buy Tom Daleys frying pan

As you can see, the pan is divided up into sections, which drew the expected responses of ‘OMG’ and ‘epic’. However, this particular pan is very pricey for what it is – they’re going for £70. Since Daley showed his off, some cheeky sods are trying to flog them for over £100.

Some people were not fans though, with one person tweeting: “Actually haunted by Tom Daley’s frying pan. Actual thing of nightmares. It made me v uncomfortable. Bin it Tom, for the good of the world.” Someone else added: “OK, also, think about cleaning Tom Daley’s stupid frying pan. It’s not going to fit in a dishwasher.”

If you fancy getting in on this, you can buy them cheaper.

You can buy the Master Pan, which has five sections for you, for the price of £59.99. Or you can buy the Master Pan 5-in-1 affair from eBay for £49.95 with free delivery. There’s a smaller, 3-section circular Pendeford pan which you can get for £13.99. Or you can just carry on as normal, and do some cooking in non-partitioned pans – we’re not the boss of you.

We’re more concerned about what that yellow stuff is in Tom Daley’s pan. It looks like bile.

Supermarket gin beats big brands in taste test

August 21st, 2015 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

gin 300x300 Supermarket gin beats big brands in taste testAre you a gin drinker? Do you like mentioning it every 3 minutes on Twitter and saying “Ho! Ho! It is gin o’clock methinks!” Firstly, you should be swiftly kicked up the arse for being annoying, but secondly, here’s some interesting gin news.

A bunch of own-brand supermarket gins have beaten some of the big brands in a blind taste test, which means those ponces who turn their noses up at cheap booze can go whistle.

The tests were carried out by Which!!!, who clearly wanted an excuse to get hammered at work, but the results make for interesting reading.

Topping the table was Morrisons’ £10.49 London Dry Gin, which got a score of 80%, well ahead of the market leading Gordon’s gin. In second place, Lidl’s Castelgy London Dry Gin, and that’ll cost you a paltry £9.99.

“Once again, our taste tests have shown that supermarket own labels are giving the big brands a real run for their money,” says Which!!! editor Richard Headland. “Some inexpensive bottles received a much higher score from our experts, proving you don’t always need to splash out.”

Seeing as we’re looking at summer drinks, it was a similar story with white wines, with Asda’s Extra Special Leyda Valley Chilean Sauvignon Blanc coming out on top.

Of course, gin-enthusiasts will notice the absence of some of the more popular, branded gins. There’s no Gin Mare, Hendrick’s, Tanqueray, Monkey 47 or Williams Chase – we don’t know if Which!!! tried them or not, but still, if you want some decent, cheap booze, then this list is not to be ignored.

And so, to the tables, so you can see how various wines and gin fare against each other. Feel free to make your way through the lists to conduct your own ‘experiment’, but don’t blame us if you find yourself crying at the bottom of a stairwell.

Best Gin Results

1. Morrisons London Dry Gin 80% £10.49
2. Lidl Castelgy London Dry Gin 78% £9.99
3. Waitrose London Dry Gin 78% £12
4. Greenalls London Dry Gin 77% £15
5. Beefeater Dry Gin 76% £16
6. Asda London Dry Gin 75% £11
7. Sainsbury’s London Dry Gin 74% £11.50
8. Aldi Oliver Cromwell London Dry Gin 74% £9.99
9. Gordon’s Special Dry London Gin 74% £16
10. The Cooperative London Dry Gin 73% £11.99

Best Crisp Dry White Wine

1. Asda Extra Special Leyda Valley Chilean Sauvignon Blanc 79% £5.75
2. Lidl Cimarosa Sauvignon Blanc 2014 78% £5.89
3. Sainsbury’s Taste the Difference Albarino 2013 74% £8.00
4. Waitrose Grüner Veltliner Niederösterreich 2014 73% £7.99
5. The Co-operative TrulyIrresistible Leyda Valley Sauvignon Blanc 2014 71% £6.99
6. M&S Picpoul de Pinet 2014 69% £8.50
7. Aldi The Exquisite Collection Clare Valley Riesling 2014 67% £6.99
8. Morrisons M Signature Vermentino di Sardegna 2014 67% £5.99
9. Cono Sur Bicicleta Sauvignon Blanc 2014 66% £6.99
10. Oxford Landing Sauvignon Blanc 2014 62% £7.99

Boost battery life by 800%

June 4th, 2015 4 Comments By Mof Gimmers

There’s a new gadget in town which promises to boost the life of any disposable battery by up to 800%. These types of gadgets usually sell for a fair chunk of money – but not this one – this one will be on sale for a measly £1.60.


batterizer Boost battery life by 800%

The Batteriser is 0.1mm thick and, basically, you pop it on an ordinary AA battery like a sleeve, and it’ll boost your dying battery back to the original 1.5v.

There’s other sizes promised too.

What the gizmo does, is boost the battery’s circuitry – when batteries drop below 1.5v, they stop working in your gadgets, but this utilises the 80% of the power that is left unused. This sounds almost too good to be true – but if it works as well as it promises, this could save you money and potentially stop us having to roll the batteries around in remotes to try and get them working.

“The Batteriser has boost circuitry that will boost the voltage from 0.6 volts to 1.5 volts and will maintain voltage at 1.5 – which is a brand new battery,” said Bob Roohparvar of Batteriser.

According to the website, it is ‘coming soon’.

ek20080520wha Japan throws balls at shoplifters... and we want in!In the UK, there’s only really one way of dealing with shoplifters, and that is having some boring bleeping machines and a man with a clip-on tie to take chase, but ultimately, not catch the tea leaf.

Well, that should change. Sure, you can still have detectors and people who wear slacks and walkie-talkies… but things need to be livened up by some Japanese balls.

That’s right! Our pals in Japan have a great solution of shoplifters in the shape of luminous baseballs that are thrown at people on the rob. Over there, they’re known as bohan yu kara boru and what you do is, when someone is stealing, you chase after them and throw one of these balls at them.

When they hit, the thief is covered in orange dye and everyone knows that they’ve been pinching stuff. This is a system that only works if you think people can feel the pressure of public shame. Obviously, it means these scallies can be found very easily if they make a getaway.

Mainly, the good thing about this, is that security guards and shopkeepers can have some fun and make a fine spectacle for everyone watching a chase through a mall – watching a criminal get pelted with balls filled with luminous dye? What’s not to like?

If you want to see what they look like, hit the video below. C’mon British shops! Get some in!

It isn’t good to mess around on your mobile while your hands are covered in chicken grease. With that in mind, KFC are pulling a stunt where they serve fried chicken on trays that come with disposable Bluetooth keyboards.

The tray syncs up with your mobile, allowing you to troll friends and be ignored by celebrities on Twitter without making your touchscreen a complete mess.

It has been named the ‘Tray Typer’, the mega-slim Bluetooth keyboard is so thin and flimsy that it can be folded up.

KFC Keyboard 500x332 Finger clickin good disposable keyboards from KFC

Regrettably, this was only available in KFC Germany for a week, but we do hope that this gets tried out elsewhere, so we can try it out. It was so popular in Germany that every single keyboard was taken home (aka ‘nicked’).


Spectrum’s Clive Sinclair releases new console!

December 4th, 2014 6 Comments By Mof Gimmers

People of a certain age may be about to make a mess of themselves as Sir Clive Sinclair, the man behind the revolutionary ZX Specrum, is at it again, bring us the ZX Spectrum Vega.

So what does it do?

zx vega controller 660 Spectrums Clive Sinclair releases new console!

Well, this little device will enable you to play all 14,000+ games that were developed for the original ZX Spectrum, but thanks to modern circuitry and technology, the innards have been replaced, which means the Vega has shown “big cost savings” during manufacturing.

The console itself comes with roughly 1,000 games built-in and it plugs straight into your telly. How much? Well, it will, according to the makers, cost “well below £100″ and, better yet, 10% of the sales price will go straight to Great Ormond Street Hospital for Children. That’s nice isn’t it?

Sinclair says: “I have been thinking about this idea [to bring the Spectrum back] for 15 years or so, because so many people I met and articles I read were telling me that the Spectrum had made a big difference to their lives.”

“Also in Russia, until recent years at least, the Spectrum was the most plentiful computer in the country, which made me realise that even nowadays the Spectrum is a great-value product.”

“In the 1980s it was necessary for computer enthusiasts to spend quite a lot if they wanted to build up a good-sized library of games, but with the current technology we can provide the games free, already in the Vega’s memory, and we can give away more games later.”

“The most serious games enthusiasts might buy both a Vega and a modern-day console. For them the Vega would be an extra console on which they can replay some of the games from their youth. I also believe that the inclusion of around 1,000 games in the Vega makes it such good value that many people who do not want to spend the cost of a modern games console plus the cost of a range of games will buy the Vega instead.”

The project has already passed the £100,000 needed for production via Indiegogo. Have a look at it below.

We Really Want… ABBA Monopoly

December 4th, 2014 1 Comment By Ian Wade

Do you like ABBA? Do you like Monopoly? No? Well look away then haters, for the two have combined forces into a thing that is as brilliant as it is bizarre.

What’s the name of the game? ABBA Monopoly.

abba 2 500x348 We Really Want... ABBA Monopoly

Instead of buying and selling properties, you’re buying single records, and instead of real estate you’re buying recording studios, which has completely missed out on a Waterloo connection, but hey.

The players – such as the dog, boot, car etc –  have been replaced by a platform boot, Napoleon hat, a vinyl record, a money bag, a telephone, and Björn’s star-shaped guitar.

You also get to say you’ve landed on Agnetha or Benny, and rent them out or something.

abba 3 500x500 We Really Want... ABBA Monopoly

Yes, if you’re shouting gimme gimme gimme right now and have a dream to own such a thing, then from December 12th, a special edition will be hitting the shelves, and from their online presence.

At £34.99, it’s quite good value for the money money money and the ideal gift for anyone nuts for both cultural icons, and they’ll no doubt thank you for the music based game. But be quick as it’s a limited edition, so the winner takes (Okay now Ian, stop – Ed).

Happy New Year!

We’re not daft. We know that some people don’t understand video games and indeed, can’t grasp the notion of limited edition stuff that is marked up and ultimately pointless. To those that are down for both of those things, get ready to jizz wildly.

Sony is celebrating the 20th anniversary of the first PlayStation console with a special PS4 model THAT LOOKS LIKE THE OLD ONE OH GOD OH GOD.

It is hard to believe that the PS1 is 20 years old, but there you go. It was released in Japan on December 3rd, 1994. So with that, Sony have produced a limited-edition PlayStation 4 in original grey and with the old logo on it.

ps4 20th 500x294 Nerdgasm: Sony release retro PS4 for 20th anniversary of PS1

There’s only going to be 12,300 of them for sale, which means they’ll be on eBay for massively hiked-up prices this week.

In a blog, Shuhei Yoshida, president of Sony Worldwide Studios, wrote: ”The mid-90s were an exciting time for game developers, driven by the explosion of powerful but affordable 3D graphics rendering hardware and the birth of many young and adventurous development studios.”

“The original PlayStation was meant to embody that sense of adventure and discovery, that sense that anything was possible.”

What we think he means is: ‘The first Silent Hill game was great and made everyone poo in their pants and the FIFA games got really, really good too.’

If you want to see it and look at all the detailing and that, watch an unboxing of the 20th Anniversary Edition console video below.

Tesco sizzle your teeth with biscuit spreads

November 27th, 2014 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

Over at Tesco, they’ve got a wilful disregard for the state of your teeth with some potentially orgasmic spreads that are made from biscuits.

We told you about the mighty Biscoff, which is basically crack in a jar that will give you diabetes just by looking at it, and now Tesco are getting in on the action too.

However, this time, there’s a vote going on.

biscuit spreads 500x305 Tesco sizzle your teeth with biscuit spreads

Tesco say: “We asked The Orchard at Tesco members to submit their suggestions for a new biscuit inspired spread. After much umming and ahhing, we’ve shortlisted four tasty spreads: Jaffa Orange, Millionaire Shortbread, Jammy Ring Swirl and Chocolate Digestive.”

“It’s now up to you to pick the winner. Which spread do you think takes the biscuit?”

You can vote over at their Facebook page. We’re just disappointed that no-one suggested a Tunnock’s Tea Cake spread. We’ll just have to go back to squashing 6 of them onto our toast with a spoon while we cry at Judge Judy repeats.

We Really Want… an invisible umbrella

October 16th, 2014 8 Comments By Mof Gimmers

All the best gadgets are the ones that are thoroughly pointless. You don’t need a tablet. You could easily live without remote controls. So with that, let us get excited about the fancy, but ultimately pointless invisible umbrella.

Even though trad. arr. umbrellas work pretty fine on their own, there’s a Kickstarter project that has developed an umbrella that replaces waterproof fabric for a force field. You heard. A force field.

And it has already raised and surpassed its $10,000 goal by three times.

If you can’t be bothered watching the video, basically, the umbrella is a rod that comes in three models, which basically are different from each other due to battery life and length.

“It’s a real ‘invisible umbrella,’ which takes advantage of the air flow as shelter from the rain,” the campaign page says.

It’s basically a plastic rod with a motor inside that sucks air in one end and blows it out at the other, creating an air blade that redirects the rain away from you, and onto anyone walking by.

Now for some sentences with double entendres: Model A is designed for women and will be 12 inches long and last for 15 minutes. Model B will be 20 inches long and will blow stuff out of the end for half an hour. Model c is extendible to 32 inches and will give you 30 minutes of satisfaction while you grip the shaft.

Thing is, this is quite heavy and probably quite noisy, so why have all these people coughed up their money to fund it? Have they spotted another use for it? Maybe you can make a bong out of it or something sex related?

Or is it just a case of people being tired of drying umbrellas indoors or they’ve had enough of them blowing inside out on wet, windy days? Or is the funding propelled by tall people who are tired of getting an umbrella in the eye?

One thing’s for certain – they have some design work to do as currently, it looks really very ugly.

air umbrella 500x246 We Really Want... an invisible umbrella

If you want to find out more about it, visit the Kickstarter here.

We Really Want… a Synek beer machine!

July 2nd, 2014 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

beer 282x300 We Really Want... a Synek beer machine!All hail the Synek Kickstarter! Why? Well, this crowdfunder enables you to have any beer you want, at home, with the help of your computer. That’s nice isn’t it?

Obviously, you could just go to the shop and buy bottles of whatever your favourite tipple is, but this is for the homebrewer sort, who wants things a little different.

So, here’s the deal – you know what a growler is? Quiet at the back of class. A growler is a heavy glass jug that can store beer for transportation, which preserves some of the freshness. The Synek employs a plastic pouch, which has a tube system from your tap and can store one gallon of beer and is airtight so everything stays fresh.

You can fill it up with your homebrew or, if you prefer, waddle down the local with it and get them to fill it up with your favourite draught booze. Once you have a pouch full of liquid (seriously, stop sniggering at the back there), you pop it in Synek and you can then pull it straight from the tap.

While a growler keeps your beer for a couple of days, Synek reckons you can have lovely draught beer for up to a month. You can even keep your pouch in the fridge and swap one beer for another.

It’ll set you back $299 for the full shebang, which is roughly the same price as a fancy(ish) coffee machine.

If you’re already too drunk to concentrate on reading words, let this video explain what the Synek beer machine does (and enjoy Steve’s great sweary intro).

If you want to contribute to the Kickstarter and put some money up, click here.

We Really Want: Hologram phones!

June 4th, 2014 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

princess leia hologram 300x299 We Really Want: Hologram phones!While massive losers have been pining for hoverboards (seriously – you can’t skateboard, so what makes you think that travelling through the air on a plank is going to make any difference to you?), the smart folks have been jonesing for hologram stuff!

Hologram gadgets require sitting down and showing off, rather than breaking your ankle trying to impress people by doing preposterously named tricks invented by dribbling Californians.

Apparently, by 2015, we could live in a world that has phones that project 3D holograms into thin-air.

This is according to a company called Ostendo, who have the financial backing to go hell for leather on this one. And they’re in California and not a bunch of dribblers at all.

So what’s the deal? Well, 5,000ppi projectors the size of Rice Krispies are now powerful enough to control the colour, brightness and angle of individual beams of light across one million pixels. One chip is able to deliver a decent enough image, but adding more of them gives the opportunity for more complex and detailed images.

The Wall Street Journal has seen a demo which involving six chips beaming a spinning green dice in the air and, furthermore, no matter where it was viewed from, it was “consistent”.

It is still early doors, so the holograms are likely to be in 2D on release, but we’ll be able to project images onto nearby surfaces at sizes of up to 48 inches. Ostendo already has some big players in the tech world on board, so hopefully, there’s a load of really exciting things afoot.

Welcome to the HUVr. That’s a hoverboard which a team claims to have mastered, thereby making a load of Back to the Future fans’ dreams a reality.

In the video below, you’ll see a promotional stunt showing off the HUVr, with celebrities like Skateboarding legend Tony Hawk, musician Moby and rap god Schoolboy Q taking the thing for a ride.

The video assures us that we’re watching the real thing, but it clearly isn’t the case. First off, the celebrities involved send alarm bells off. Tony Hawk will do anything to promote his brand. Moby will do anything for money (remember when his ‘Play’ album soundtracked every single advert ever?) and Schoolboy Q is a rapper and everyone in hip hop knows that you don’t make money from records anymore, so you get paid elsewhere.

The project says:

“What began as a summer project in 2010 at the MIT Physics Graduate Program has evolved into one of the most exciting independent products to be developed out of MIT since the high-powered lithium-ion batteries developed by Yet-Ming Chiang in 2001. Our team consists of materials science, electricity & magnetism experts who’ve solved an important part of one of science’s mysteries: the key to antigravity.”

“The HUVr Board team ultimately aims to improve the efficiency, speed and sustainability of mass transportation. Yet rather than spend several more years closed off from the world while investing in research and development, the team and our world-class investors have worked to change the economics R&D by marketing this exciting consumer product in order to fund ongoing R&D.”

Eagle-eyed viewers will look toward the shadows in the video to see bits of bad editing but, if they could do this, surely it would be the most wonderful invention of a generation.

This sandwich is amazing. Just reading about it has given me seventeen heart-attacks. Delicious, dribbling heart-attacks.

the fat sandwich 500x333 Clog up your arteries with the finest sandwich in human history!

Want the huge array of ingredients for this 6 inches in diameter colon compacter? Here goes (deep breath): 2 rolls, 4 cheeseburgers, kebab meat, bacon, sausage, mozzarella sticks, chicken fingers, chicken nuggets, double cheesesteak, chicken cheesesteak, grilled chicken, mac n cheese bites, fried mushrooms, jalapeño poppers, bits of pizza, onion rings, hash browns, cheese slices, mayonnaise, ketchup and fries.

Get in our guts. NOW.