While this viral video, initially produced for internal use by publishers Dorling Kindersley (purveyors of endless DK Top 10 travel guides), receives top marks for ingenuity, it ultimately feels like an industry patting itself on the back, reassuring itself that no harm will come of it in the face of technological advancement.

It’s true the Kindle, iPad and other eReaders present exciting new platforms to the publishing industry, but they also pose a threat to physical sales – a marketplace that major publishers can dominate and manipulate with impunity. In the future there’ll be nothing to stop top-selling authors releasing material themselves (as bands have done since the advent of online distribution) or top execs breaking away to form micro-publishers; without the concerns or costs of production or distribution, editors and designers will be in high demand.

Anyway. You can enjoy the self-congratulating undertones of DK’s efforts for yourself (“it’s not true we don’t like the way books feel in our hands” – did somebody say it was?) – watch it all the way through for the crazy-ass Memento-style twist:

On the plus side, it’ll make a trip to Aldi bearable, the prices will probably be better than anything your dealer can offer, and you’ll have a full list of ingredients on the side of the packaging:

All the best to avid Bitterwallet reader Martin who is currently dancing at 180 rpm to Talvin Singh in his bedroom. Next week – Jamie Oliver’s hands are too big and the floor has melted into the sky after a batch of Sainsbury’s Taste The Difference magic mushrooms.

It seems like forever ago that Google launched their Nexus One handset – it’s been available through Google themselves since January, but today Vodafone have begun promoting the handset, by announcing… not very much at all:

Not only are there no prices for Nexus One tariffs, there’s still no release date available (although reports suggest it will be April) – the best you can do is register for further information as and when it’s released.

Given that it was common knowledge Vodafone were suppliers for the Nexus One, we have in fact learnt nothing from today’s hollering and cheering. And while it must have looked like a must-have for Vodafone at the time, manufacturers HTC are already pushing out better-specced handsets that threaten to leave it standing. Gah.

I can’t decide whether Foursquare will rule the world or like most social media interaction conducted in public situations, completely destroy the fabric of society. Probably both.

Because there always comes a point during an evening at the pub when somebody pulls out their mobile to text or check email, giving permission for everybody else to do so. Then it’s Facebook, Twitter and pretty much any thumb-bothering exercise that doesn’t involve talking to each other in real life. You stand there in your circle, nobody speaking to anyone except avatars disconnected from your physical situation.

For the uninitiated, the year-old Foursquare has moved this principle onto location-based activity. It exists in the form of a mobile app (available across most handsets as a download or web application) that allows you to ‘check-in’ at shops, venues, restaurants, parks – anywhere. Certain types or numbers of check-ins you earn badges or become the ‘mayor’ of a particular venue – there’s a very strong gaming element to Foursquare, as people figure out how to acquire certain badges and race one another to do so.

What’s the point? Beyond the hollow satisfaction of becoming the major of Sainsbury’s and spoiling all social events by further titting about on your mobile, what does Foursquare achieve? Nothing much. Well, not yet. Slowly but surely, businesses are becoming increasingly interested in experimenting with Foursquare, because it has the potential to drive to their outlets. In return, there’s good news for consumers, if you’re prepared to invest a few seconds here and there by checking in.

Bars and restaurants are promoting official offers through Foursquare – if you check into one venue, you might be prompted about another venue nearby offering free drinks or meals to its mayor. Plenty of unofficial deals are popping up too, with signs appearing in shop windows offering money off purchases to anyone who can show they’re checked in at the store in question.

Yesterday, Foursquare announced a US-wide deal with Starbucks, which means customers can unlock a special Barista badge after five check-ins, but will also be able to access deals and invitations to exclusive events.

Real time, location-based deals have the potential to be huge, because while you wouldn’t leave the house for a half-price cheese roll, Foursquare could determine your choice of sandwich shop if you’re already in the vicinty. Of course, if the corporate suits get too involved, it’ll probably see them trying to ask more of consumers than they’re prepared to offer, and the road to collecting thousands of points for a tall latte is an easy one to stumble upon. Foursquare (and other similar serivces like Gowalla) offer the potential for consumers to benefit from local bargains, wherever they are, so long as you’re prepared to be permanently distracted by your mobile.

Burgers, milkshakes, fries, spotty youths, apple pies that could melt steel… all of these things you can find in a McDonald’s. Now you can add to the list: a GCSE.

Yessir, teenagers who do work experience at the fast-food behemoth will be able to gain a qualification equivalent to a GCSE. No, honestly. The Golden Arches have worked with exam board Edexcel to develop a BTec certificate to recognise the skills gained. Is it a piece of paper that says: “I can do this work thing – I’ve tried it and I’m Lovin’ It (TM)” with Hamburglar giving the thumbs up?

The BTec will require youngsters to complete a 10-day placement in a restaurant and complete work in school. A spokeswoman for the exam board said Edexcel had worked closely with McDonald’s to develop the qualification and what any participant will get is a certificate equivalent to one GCSE at grade B or C.

This all comes on the back of yapping dimwits saying that schools, colleges and universities are failing to equip youngsters for the world of work. Nothing prepares you for the toil and drudgery of work. Unless you’ve met a jobsworth middle manager arsebasket, you’ll never be ready. That said, Maccy D’s is full of management isn’t it?

David Fairhurst, personnel chief at McDonald’s, said: “Whether people join McDonald’s for two weeks’ work experience or a full-time job, the aim is helping them build their confidence, gain transferable qualifications and fulfil their potential.

“Now, a placement will give young people on-the-job experience in a fast-paced business environment, a great set of all-round skills for any workplace, and a national qualification to increase their employability.”

Heather Collier, director of the National Council for Work Experience, welcomed the qualification: “A formalised BTec would help them articulate and realise the skills they’ve learned. It will bring together the theory and practice of working.”

[Auntie]

There’s only one thing worse than chavs (aside from typing Blue Waffle into Google and hitting ‘I’m feeling lucky’ – really, don’t do it) and that’s French chavs. Witness the devastation unleashed when H&M rolls up the shutters at their new store Toulouse; inside, limited edition garments to celebrate the opening. It’s like watching a swarm of locusts on crack.

[LiveLeak] * it’s in Paris, I know

The fancy-dan beads as used by Xeros

Just what kind of unhinged madness from hell is THIS then? The future of washing machines? 90% less water than we use now? Beads? BEADS??

And get this; once the beads have reached the end of their working life in the washing machine, they can be recycled and used to make, among other things, car dashboards. No, really.

The idea is that thousands of the tiny beads flood the drum of the washing machine and do the job that good old hot water and soap powder do now. What’s more, the beads can be used hundreds of time before they need to be replaced. Cowabunga, as someone over there just roared.

If it takes off, it’ll bring dry-cleaning into the home and save over 40 gallons of water a year in the UK alone. It’s probably way over 40 gallons to be precise – we don’t have an exact number and thought it would be best to hedge our bets at the bottom end of the scale.

It’s a system that’s been devised by a chap called Bill Westwater (nice) and his company Xeros, and Bill reckons it could be mass-produced by the end of 2011. Bill says that: “The net saving in water, detergent and electricity and including the cost of the beads, we calculate, is about a 30% cost saving for the user.”

He reckons the machine has been tested successfully on a range of stains including mud, red wine, curry stains and ink from ballpoint pens. Coming soon – grown-up versions of those kids’ ovens that run on ice? Hope so.

[Guardian]

It’s normally the length of time that countries give before judging new leaders but Asda have set themselves up to have the piss hauled out of them by their customers by extending the length of time that customers have to return clothing to a whopping 100 days.

It’s a poke in the eye to Marks and Spencer, who recently reined in their own returns period from 90 days to 35. Asda have said they will allow customers to return any item from their George clothing line up to 100 days after purchase, regardless of how many times it had been washed or worn.

The supermarket recently trialled the 100-day period on their school uniform range, with £900 worth of returns and refunds against a total of £9 million worth of uniforms sold.

Fiona Lambert, brand director at George, took a deep breath and blah-blah-di-blahed: “Even though officially it’s the end of the recession, the attitudes we have developed towards being less wasteful are here to stay. Although we all want to make do and mend, the reality is that the busy mum just doesn’t have time. The George 100-day quality guarantee now means that our customers should be just as happy with a George garment after washing and wearing as the day they bought it.”

Carla from Corrie - her knicker factory returns policy is unknown

What do you lot reckon to all that then? Are you already peacock-proud of the fact that you dress from head to toe in George clobber or would you rather set fire to your own arms than be seen in such tat?

Maybe you previously dismissed the range as a poor man’s Primark but will now head in the direction of your nearest Asda and deck yourself out in George finery?

Or perhaps the name George makes you make about that horrible old bastard of the same name who is trying to steal Peter Barlow’s son on Coronation Street and therefore puts you right off wearing anything with that name on the label?

Yes, let’s talk about Corrie instead. That Carla, eh fellas? Hard boiled egg through a hosepipe we reckons.

The egg – surely nature’s greatest gift while at the same time being mankind’s deadliest foe… and that.

They’re almost perfect in their design, but getting the good stuff out of the middle of one is a living nightmare. Bits of shell in the bowl, broken yolks, dealing with the fact that you’re handling what is ostensibly a hen’s period, these are all things that can drive the average regular egg-handler to blithering madness.

But no more… a tool has arrived to help protect us from egg-related breakdowns. Named (almost TOO perfectly) the EZ Cracker, it will break open your eggs cleanly and without fuss or mass shatterage. Plus, if you want to separate the yolk from the white (eggparthied) it’ll do that as well. All in for a mere kick in the arse under £20. Frigging genius.

Just look at the infomercial below. See the problems that ordinary people have with busting those eggs open. Admit it, they could be your hands amateurishly struggling and fumbling when all you want is a quick omelette.

If that wasn’t enough, order now and you’ll also get a free EZ Scrambler, a device that mixes the egg while it’s still inside the shell. Hold on, surely THAT’S the scientific breakthrough here isn’t it?

Don’t know why we’ve bothered running competitions to give away the Nexus One and the iPad – surely this is what The Public really want?

For decades now, Bitterwallet have speculated over the status of Primark’s so-called founder, ‘Arthur Ryan.’ To our knowledge the man has only ever appeared in the form of a crude pencil drawing, leading us to wonder if he’s really real or just some made up frontman like Captain Birds Eye.

But no! He is real, and lives and breathes. He is skin, bone, organs, tissue and sinewy muscle. Amazingly, Arthur has emerged from his make-believe world this week to collect a major prize at some retail awards ceremony.

And, as we expected, he’s a bit weird and a bit boring….

How do you fancy buying whisky in what equates to a posh pop bottle? That’s what Tesco are planning on doing.

The supermarket behemoth is trialling the use of plastic bottles for its own-brand spirits range. For the winos amongst you, you may notice that the wine bottle feels a whole lot lighter as they’re looking into making a super lightweight vessel as part of efforts to reduce carbon emissions from packaging.

Surely these drinks… even the own-brand stuff… are aspirational tipples? Of course, if you’re an alcoholic, you probably wouldn’t give a shit if Tesco sold Brandy soaked in an old flannel so you could wring it into your gaping face-hole. The rest of us surely want our booze to feel like quality, even if it isn’t.

Lucy Neville-Rolfe, executive director at Tesco, said: “Tesco is always breaking new ground with innovative approaches to packaging. However more significantly we’re working with our suppliers so that we reach our target of a 30% reduction in the carbon impact of the products in our supply chain by 2020.”

Tesco have also said that it was continuing its carbon reduction efforts throughout the supply chain.

At the start of 2010, they launched the “Buy One, Get One Free Later” deal, which hopes to see people wasting less food and thereby, being a bit greener and lass wasteful. They trialled it for a fortnight on perishables like fruit and veg and now the retailer is reviewing customer feedback to see if it worked or not.

Tesco is aiming for a 30% reduction by 2020 in the carbon impact of the products in its supply chain. Last year it also extended green Clubcard points to encourage environmentally friendly, carbon-conscious purchasing.

They’re still a shower of bastards though, right?

[BrandRepublic]

[Daily Mail]

Avid Bitterwallet reader Ronnie breathlessly writes… “Never mind the earlier Microsoft copyright issue on a Japanese/Chinese store, this corner shop is less than a mile from my local Sainsburys!”

It’s one to add to the list that already includes this Selfridges rival….

The blurb on this DVD box set should tell you all you need to know…

HOUSE M.D. The Complete Season 5

House, a vulgar language, the character of the cynical doctor, a never believe anyone in particular, the patient’s own (???), it is a solution to numerous diseases doctor. “House” is a new medical drama.

George House (Hugh Laurie) has no concern for the patients bedside accompanied by the consciousness, but always leaning a crutch to Huang Huang. as it this will mean he brutal show. In fact, despite the acts of Guaizhang House, he is a perfect intuitive diagnosis were excellent. As a medical expert, the house still good at capturing the medical problems in the gate of hell to save patients.

Over the past four seasons, guiding the House by a young elite team of experts to help him solve the diseases. His goo friend, oncology expert James Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard) for his loyalty. At the time, medical director of the Department, the hospital’s head of the Treasury Di Lisa (Lisa Edestein) between the House and the sincerity of … is often good to be true because of their …..

[Engrish Funny]

You’ll all be familiar with the history of Redsave, the online retailer that’s had a barrage of criticism from consumers, solicitors, Hot UK Deals and others besides. There’s plenty of history to read up on if you’ve don’t know about the company, but we wanted to let you know that the BBC’s report into Redsave that we reported on last October, finally aired on the BBC last week.

The company was featured in a segment on Inside Out South – most of the country doesn’t see this regional version of the show, so thanks to several Bitterwallet readers for letting us know about it. You only have a few hours left to view it on the BBC’s website, but it’s definitely worth a gander:

Redsave have acted on previous complaints and changed their site to more clearly explain the £20 monthly subscription fee. But what we didn’t know about was how Redsave justified charging the subscription. We’d heard the company claim they’re saving many satisfied customers hundreds of pounds, but how does that work?

One thing Redsave does, as boss Max Walker explains, is they redefine what an RRP is. Absolutely true. It’s fair to say there’s a very public understanding of what an RRP is, and what it’s an abbreviation for – Recommended Retail Price. Therefore, you might think Redsave would explain if they deliberately changed the meaning of RRP when using it on a retail website, otherwise it might cause some confusion.

You’d think wrong.

Every product on the site has an RRP. The programme features a 32GB iPod Touch – Redsave states the RRP is £269.99 but sell it for £229.99 – a saving of £40! Yet you can order the same item from Apple for £234, so it’s clearly not an RRP. What are these RRPs that Redsave are quoting? Watch Walker squirm as he attempts to explain in the report, but here’s the gist of it:

Walker: “We don’t refer to it as a Recommended Retail Price… it’s quite a difficult thing… in consumer-”

Reporter: “Well it says RRP…

Walker: “No, that’s our Redsave Retail Price… so we’re not quoting RRPs.”

The Redsave Retail Price! Of course that’s what it means! So Redsave aren’t quoting RRPs, they’re just giving the standard abbreviation a completely different meaning which in turn may exaggerate the savings available – as it clearly does in the case of the iPod Touch – and all the while not explaining the fact. Nothing confusing about that, at least not according to Walker, who appears astounded that RRP may have another meaning:

Reporter: “Do you think that’s clear to most people?”

Walker: “Well I think so because we’ve got so many people shopping with us every day.”

Reporter: “Could you make it clearer, though? Because RRP to most people is Recommended Retail Price.”

Walker: “Right. Well I’ll consider it, but I don’t think it’s unclear.”

Not unclear at all, apart from the fact the definition is NOT EXPLAINED ANYWHERE ON THE WEBSITE. There’s also another interesting claim from the mouth of Walker:

“All our Redsave prices are cost price – we don’t make any money.”

Anyone familiar with Quidco knows that Apple offers affiliates 3 per cent on sales, which would make the same iPod cheaper than the Redsave price, and we’d be of the opinion that retailers tend to buy in goods to sell with wider margins that that.

Next – Max Walker redefines space-time and sells you your own great grand-children. And that hoverboard from Back to The Future 2.