Never let it be said that the American Dream isn’t alive and well in South Wales. It seems anyone really can do anything, as small business owner Dianah Kendall from Pencoed near Bridgend has proven. She’s a blind hairdresser.
Dianah, 56, suffered a brain injury earlier this year, but her loyal customers have insisted they will still let her cut their hair even though she is registered partially blind and “couldn’t see her hand in front of her face” and can now only see “a small box”.
One customer, 34, told the Express “I have never left with a cut I did not like. She knows what I like so well that she could do it with her eyes closed,” adding “I wouldn’t go anywhere else.”
Dianah had three months off with her injury, before returning to her business, built up over 40 years. Dianah says her customers “ tease me about my eyesight – saying who would have a cut from a blind hairdresser?” but Dianah doesn’t mind, after all “losing some of my sight and surviving is better than the other option.”
Dianah is confident her business will continue to thrive “I was told my sight would come back slowly but it has been over a year now and it’s worse if anything. But now … it only affects my peripheral vision” adding… “if a head of hair is in front of me I can see well enough to give my usual great standard of cut.” We say fair play to her- if she can manage and no-one complains, who are we to snigger into our hankies?
But what’s next? Blind taxi drivers? Low-intelligence politicians? Oh, wait…
McDonalds have had to apologise to customers and a Welsh branch played a track that featured sexually explicit lyrics at 9.30am in the morning. And we’re not talking about a sly f-bomb here – this is full on explicit.
Customers in the Haverfordwest McDonalds were eyeing up a sausage and egg McMuffin while the speakers blasted out ’Only 17′ by US rapper Rucka Rucka Ali, which talks about underage sex, being raped in prison and more.
Steve Davidson, spoke to a Metro hack (who was probably trying to not laugh) who said he’d heard the song while with his 20-month-old grandson. He said: ”The lyrics are disgusting, they are very explicit – not just a bit risqué or a bit of swearing. It’s not what you want while you’re having your breakfast. You have to be over 18 to download it, for them to be playing it somewhere that attracts children is obviously a concern.”
McDonalds blamed all this on a nightshift worker who had left his MP3 player in the system and said: “The vast majority of our restaurants, including Haverfordwest, have external music providers dedicated to creating playlists that have been thoroughly screened for appropriateness of language and content. We apologise to Mr Davidson for this isolated lapse in our rigorous standards.”
Of course, you want to listen to the track. Be warned, it is massively NSFW and, frankly, it is dreadful. So bad is the song that the member of staff responsible should be sacked so owning it. Anyway, click here to listen.
Rucka Rucka Ali meanwhile, was rather pleased with the exposure and tweeted: “Tomorrow, there will be youtube videos of Nuckas playing “Only 17” at McDonalds… we’re fighting back!!! #FreeRucka.”
For the most part, shop security is some bloke with a ‘tasche who looks like he could be outrun quite easily. Thieves get taken politely to a little room in the back of a shop and told off while everyone waits for the police.
However, have you ever imagined a world where security can lay the smack down? This video shows someone taking matters into their own hands after someone was seen trying to swipe some new clothes.
It’d make shopping more exciting wouldn’t it?
One avid Bitterwallet reader’s girlfriend (yes, there are BW readers who aren’t crushingly lonely) received a letter from those nice folks at Churchill Car Insurance (oh yes), and on the face of it, it seemed they’d send a boring blank letter.
However, you could argue that Churchill just wanted to acknowledge a customer’s existence while telling them everything they needed to know about car insurance, ie, absolutely nothing.
Over in Cologne, Germany, someone doesn’t like fast food joints. While they’re clearly an irritating foodie who probably cares more about the provenance of a pot-washer over people being able to eat what they want, they’ve come up with a novel way of showing their displeasure.
They’ve started writing recipes on billboards over the top of junk food adverts.
Nike have made some snowboarding boots that have a LED version of their swoosh on the side, a bit like those LA Gear that lit up way back when.
Nike say: “Impressive enough standing still, these LED-adorned beauties will mesmerize crowds as they rotate through the night sky at this season’s biggest snowboard competition finals. The swoosh’s 30 LEDs are powered by an embedded lithium ion battery, and it’s on/off switch is conveniently located atop the boot’s cuff so you can go UFO whenever the mood strikes.”
Are you one of those outrageous show-offs who would actually wear a pair of these or would you see someone in them and pour pints on their feet in the hope the owner gets small electric shocks up their legs?
Comedians have taken the Michael out of IKEA’s bewildering floor layout by creating a system which traps customers inside rooms, so we can laugh at them while they nervously giggle their way through a Terry Waite scenario (sorry Terry, we love you really).
Watch the video as brothers Vegard and Bard Ylvisaker directing the mischief from behind the scenes while their associates rearrange doorways and close off entrances.
Seriously though – is it that different from the real thing?
You have to applaud people for their shameless attempts to ride the coattails of those more successful. There’s some hilarious knockoff Manchester United kits doing the rounds and of course, all good B&M Bargain shops have things that Look A Bit Like Mars Bars and the like.
However, Iceland have gone one further than everyone else, with a range of snack which are enough to make a lawyer’s bumhole twitch.
Behold, the majesty of a packet of Wotsi… hang on, Wot’sthis? And there’s more.
However, these aren’t bags of crisps; these are things you cook in the oven! There’s a range of official tie-ins and one sly dupe. And, if you’re wondering what is inside, the wonderful Grocery Gems reviewed them all.
Have a look here – grocerygems.co.uk/review
Western products are so irritatingly vague when it comes to straplines. McDonald’s say ‘I’m lovin’ it’ and Gillette say ‘a best a man can get’, which tell you nothing.
However, a Japanese product helps to solve your constipated problems and offers you reassurance in the bluntest of manners.
If “A Solo a day, clear your constipation away” wasn’t direct enough, the delightful CAPS LOCK claim of “GUARANTEE YOU SHIT EVERYDAY” certainly clears things up.
If only all products were so uncomplicated.
There’s something quite depressing when you have to scroll down for a while when entering your year of birth on a website. The older you get, the longer you scroll. Each passing year reminds you that you’re probably going to die soon.
At EasyJet however, it seems like they’re expecting Mumm-Ra levels of old. According to their website, they’re expecting passengers that are over 160 years old.
Over on Twitter, JonathanDean spotted just how old you can be, saying: “Imagine being 163-years-old, with all the wonder you have seen, and having to take an EasyJet flight.”
This commercial for GLYDE condoms kicks off with a camera, seductively inspecting a woman in her posh underwear. She starts to talk about the best ways to pleasure a woman in the soft lighting.
She says: “There are a million ways to pleasure a woman. You can use your hands. Your mouth. Even toys.” She’s got a surprise though.
Apparently, GLYDE’s condoms are the world’s only ethical, Vegan and Fair Trade condom which have never been tested on animals and they’ve been certified by the Vegan Society. Great news for hippies and no-one else.
Adult humans waddling around in oversized romper suits is galling enough, especially when you see them down the shops or on nights out in their onesies. However, some company has decided to take the popular clothing into the realms of parody with The Twinsie.
It has three legs, four arms, two hoods and it’ll cost you £50. You can get it in light grey, navy blue and aubergine and in the blink of an eye, you’ll go from being a perfectly decent person, to someone who is the romantic equivalent of a conjoined twin.
This would be a perfect gift for that couple you know who can’t possibly do anything without each other – the kind of couple that already have matching walking jackets and finish each other’s sentences. Perhaps you should buy an irritating couple a Twinsie, force them to wear it and make it easier for everyone to assault them?
Colin Leggatt, marketing director of The Original Factory Shop, said: “The Twinsie offers a practical but fun solution for those wanting to stay warm this winter without running up costly energy bills. And what a fantastic Christmas present for the person in your life, or even the person you’d like to get closest to!”
If you’re the kind of sap who would like one of these, click here to buy one.
A lot of companies have fun with their 404 error pages (there’s entire websites dedicated to such a thing, if that tickles your pickle), but Virgin have one that takes the biscuit, chews the biscuit, then throws the biscuit up and then eats the puke.
Behold. And sorry.
‘I won’t tell if you don’t', our Santa says as he seemingly gets busy with a polar bear in a supermarket display. Of course, it is over to BW readers to start mucking about with Christmas displays – you can do much worse than that!
If you live in Musselburgh, in East Lothian, and you were in Tesco at around 8pm last week, you’d be forgiven for wondering whether you needed to adjust your brain medication.
Customers were treated to the sight of Batman, Robin, David Hasselhoff and a Smurf apprehending a criminal in the store, after the man dressed as Robin had been attacked by a random nutjob on the street. The fancy dress heroes chased the attacker into Tesco where a spectacular scuffle ensued, and they managed to hold him until the police came.
East Lothian Police thanked the fancy dress crime fighters in a series of highly pleasing tweets, like this one:
‘Thank you to Batman, Robin, Robin’s Dad, a Smurf, and the Hoff for helping us on Friday night. #Tesco, sorry about the toilet roll aisle.’
Police Scotland arrested a 21 year old man in connection with the incident, who pleaded guilty to the offence in court on Monday. Another triumph for the caped crusader. And Knight Rider. And er, some random Smurf.
(Mop and bucket to aisle 3.)