At last! A wearable drone that takes selfies!

September 30th, 2014 1 Comment By Ian Wade

Some inventors have cooked up a wrist-based drone that takes selfies. That’s it. Everyone can go home now, we’ve finished as a species.

The Nixie is a flyable wrist-worn camera, and is the brainchild of Christoph Kohstall, Jelena Jovanovic, and Michael Niedermayr who are a team of one of ten finalists in Intel’s Make It Wearable (MIW) Challenge.

LET’S SEE IT IN ACTION THEN

It was originally meant to be a flying pair of glasses, which would have no doubt been REALLY useful, but now morphed into a wristband that unfolds into a remote-controlled quadcopter.

The Intel Creators Project blog said:”With traditional cameras, shooters have to interrupt the moment to take pictures, and the controls require manual manipulations. Nixie puts you front and center in your photos and videos—without requiring your hands, or your attention.”

While still a prototype, the Nixie should include preset modes for all sorts of filming criteria.

Within its capacity as an Intel MIW Challenge entry, the Nixie, of course, utilizes Intel’s Edison—a functioning, Quark-powered computer with wireless capabilities packed into a chip as slim and small as an SD card.

It’s just one of the inventions in the running for the award, along with nine others that include  sports, healthcare, robotics, and existing wearable technology.

The winning team will be announced at the Make It Wearable Finale Event on Nov. 3.

People exchange their kids for free WiFi

September 30th, 2014 1 Comment By Mof Gimmers

stupid children 214x300 People exchange their kids for free WiFiSix fully grown humans who should know better agreed to give their children away in exchange for free WiFi. Have they been arrested and the kids taken off into care?

No.

That’s because this was some kind of social experiment where researchers set up a WiFi hotspot in London which had a lengthy t&c section.

The terms contained a “deliberately ridiculous” term which, if you’d read, said that in return for the free access to the internet, the individual using the service was prepared to “render up their eldest child for the duration of eternity”.

The report is called ‘Tainted Love: How Wi-Fi Betrays Us’ by security and privacy company F-Secure. It states that, regarding people allowing their children to be given up for eternity: ”Despite this, six people decided that it was a fair exchange and signed up.”

Hopefully, the researchers will see the clause out in scenes akin to the baby being fought for in Ghostbusters 2. Hopefully they’ll have a massive magic oil painting too.

The report concluded: “Our results illustrate the very real problem of the modern world which is that – while massively dependent on the technology – the population is unaware of its capabilities for surveillance and intrusion into their lives. The problem is that people implicitly trust their technology and are not aware of the implications of that trust.”

“There is an insatiable pursuit of bandwidth, driven mainly by the desire to have video, data-rich apps and super-fast website performance on the move.”

“This appetite for bandwidth has blinded consumers to the risks that they are taking. In pursuit of free bandwidth, people are prepared to do anything as our experiment showed with its draconian terms and conditions.”

In fairness, the six people involved might have really quite horrible children. You just don’t know do you? Have you met some of them? They can be infuriating.

TL;DR – Breaking news: People don’t read terms and conditions on anything, ever.

LG fail at trolling Apple thanks to using iPhone

September 29th, 2014 1 Comment By Mof Gimmers

Trolling, done properly, is an artform. People mistake simply abusing someone as trolling. Trolling is when you get someone apoplectic with frustration without them knowing you were just getting a rise out of them.

Well, LG in France thought they’d mock Apple during the awfully named ‘Bendgate’*, but they dropped a clanger.

lg france tweet on bendgate 500x375 LG fail at trolling Apple thanks to using iPhone

While LG were chuckling to themselves at their very modern marketing jape, everyone pointed out that they’d mocked Apple while using Twitter on an iPhone.

The company said in their tweet, while talking about the LG G Flex smartphone: “Our phone doesn’t bend, it flexes…on purpose. #bendgate”

But the bloody idiots forgot to send the tweet from their desktop or, indeed, the LG G Flex which would’ve been a secure, tight trolling. Not only were they failing to mock Apple, but they were also inadvertently saying; ‘Hey! Buy our phones, even though our social media team doesn’t believe in them and would rather own a handset from a rival!’

The tweet was removed once LG had discovered the “issue”, but alas, everyone had already got a screengrab. Still, LG will be happy enough that they’re getting any coverage at all during the current Apple-fest, even if it does make them look like thundering bozos.

*As an aside, why do we add ‘gate’ on the end of things? If that was the correct procedure, Nixon would’ve been embroiled in Watergategate.

The bar for pregnant women

September 29th, 2014 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

Ever wondered why there wasn’t a bar that was ideal for pregnant women? Well, someone in New York had the same thought and went and set the thing up and called it ‘Gestations’.

Now you’ll be able to breathe out your beer gut because it won’t look nearly as large next to a women who is resting a craft ale on her 7 month pregnancy belly.

Gestations at Fifth Street and Avenue A proclaims: “All you mothers-to-be should come check out our trimester specials and our 9-month happy hour because now you’re drinking for two!”

gestations 2 500x185 The bar for pregnant women

On Gestations Facebook page, the bar claims that expectant mums are perfect patrons because they can fit more booze in: “The bigger the belly, the more you can drink. True for men and pregnant women #gestationsny.”

The bar even got a billboard up in Times Sqaure.

gestations 500x272 The bar for pregnant women

Of course, not many are happy about this.

One disgruntled sort said on the bar’s FB page: “this is really sick, a real disparate, how would you entice a pregnant woman to drink alcohol which will take effects on the unborn, this is really ridiculous. I would call on the Dept of Health, to close this stupid peoples door business that are endangering the health of the unborn. umbelievable ..!!!!!!

That comment may have been made under the influence – we just don’t know. Another said: “It’s insane . . . I think it portrays a poor image.”

The bar also said online: “#gestationsny will have free pregnancy test kits when you buy a pitcher. Check out our profile on #BARTRENDr to see what else we’ll carry.”

However, the bar haven’t actually applied for a liquor licence, so this might be some sort of Earth Mother’s Juice Bar or something, who just have some novelty adverts to drum up attention.

Minecraft recreates the UK in, um, Minecraft

September 26th, 2014 No Comments By Ian Wade

minecraft gratis 300x136 Minecraft recreates the UK in, um, MinecraftWelcome to ‘People with too much time on the hands corner’ where these week we discover that someone has made a map of the UK entirely out of Minecraft blocks.

Someone called Ordnance Survey, recreated 224,000 sq km of Britain using 83 billion blocks, with each block representing 25m of actual real life Britain.

The map is available on the site so that people can put their address in and see what their area looks like and witness actual roads and houses and that.

The original Minecraft UK map was created by intern Joseph Braybrook over two weeks in September 2013. Now Mr Braybrook has joined the Ordnance Surveys, he has now updated the map.

Braybrook said that increasing the scale of the map had made it more detailed and given it a “more expansive appearance that is closer to real life.”

“I’ve attempted to re-create Great Britain to be more realistic, while maintaining the gameplay elements people love from the game,”

Ordnance Survey announced that the one-gigabyte map would be made available for download for users to play on. The original version has already been downloaded more than 100,000 times.

So you can go to your neighbourhood and do whatever it is you do on Minecraft in your actual endz.

Talking phone gets nana in a right state

September 23rd, 2014 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

This has been doing the rounds, but always worth sharing on the off-chance you haven’t seen it. Dr Emma Wilson wrote into the Guardian to say that her nana’s mobile phone had turned her into a wreck.

The letter says that the mobile spoke to gran, and left her in a “state of physical and emotional collapse” after she gave it what-for with that potty mouth of hers.

Bx9sTwSCQAAIDPl 343x500 Talking phone gets nana in a right state

 

All hail Nana Wilson and her dirty language.

Sainsbury’s new trolley for disabled kids

September 23rd, 2014 2 Comments By Ian Wade

sainsburys 300x192 Sainsburys new trolley for disabled kidsSainsbury’s have launched a new shopping trolley designed especially for parents with kids who have disabilities.

600 of the trolleys will be sent to stores across the country this week.

The new trolleys are designed for children with the likes of cerebral palsy and autism, and fitted with a special padded seat and harness designed for maximum comfort and security.

All Sainsbury’s supermarkets will have at least one of the new trolleys by the end of October.

Sainsbury’s had invited parents Maria Box and Stacie Lewis to trial-run the new trolleys, after learning of their frustration with the current trolleys being unsatisfactory.

Hannah Bernard, Sainsbury’s director of customer experience, said: “We were reviewing our range of trolleys when we read about Maria’s experience and Stacie’s call for supermarkets to introduce a new trolley for disabled children. We immediately contacted them and invited them to trial our new trolley with their children.”

“We always had trolleys for parents with disabled children but they weren’t appropriate for children with disabilities such as cerebral palsy or autism. We hope these new trolleys will make shopping much easier for thousands of parents like Stacie and Maria and are very grateful to them for helping us with the design.”

Mark Harper MP, Minister of State for Disabled People said: “It’s excellent news that Sainsbury’s are taking steps to improve the shopping experience for disabled people. This new trolley should serve as a benchmark for others in the retail sector.”

Hurrah all concerned!

Chat Magazine: Asking the tough questions

September 23rd, 2014 1 Comment By Mof Gimmers

Here at Bitterwallet, we’ve clearly been letting you readers down by not asking the big, important questions that concern all consumers and bargain-lovers.

Chat Magazine have been showing us how it is done, with the fabulous question over on Facebook: “You can have £1 off anything, what would it be?”

chat mag fb Chat Magazine: Asking the tough questions

 

Some of the answers were very enlightening. One Chat fan said “fruit!”, while another excitingly added “margarine”. One cheeky scamp said “oooh anything from Poundland”, which in turn prompted loads of another people to say almost the same thing, while another impishly added: “A pound off my boobs lol”

Another added, seemingly from nowhere: “My kebab that should be here n e min…..i deserve it!”

Anyway, seeing as we’re not engaging you, if you’d like to join in the fun and not in any way go a make a mockery of the whole process, you can click here to visit the Facebook update.

For the record, we’d like £1 off dildos.

Made.com congratulate Scotland on their independence

September 19th, 2014 2 Comments By Mof Gimmers

The Scottish Independence Referendum (or, ‘neverendum’ for those who have been furiously bored by the whole thing) has had a lot of people debating and musing, and when that happens, you can bet your ass that a load of people in marketing are looking at ways of getting on board with the whole thing.

Made.com got a bit trigger happy, congratulating the Scottish on their new found independence… that didn’t happen.

IMG 0864 381x500 Made.com congratulate Scotland on their independence

 

What with Scotland still being part of Britain for the time being, the email will have no doubt offered Scots a painful glimpse into a future they could’ve had, where they could’ve had a bunch of navy blue things in their houses.

Obviously, navy blue things are banned now.

Made.com realised their error and sent another email out, which was inspired by the Union Jack, which will serve to offer certain Scots the bleak realisation that they’re tied to David Cameron for a while yet.

IMG 0867 347x500 Made.com congratulate Scotland on their independence

 

Now, all Scottish people who voted ‘Yes’ will be required to store all their broken dreams in a £179 ‘Jack Upholstered storage box’ while watching their hopes float away while sat on a £769 ‘Edward Jack Armchair’.

Cruel business this politics lark.

Boy drops first iPhone6 on TV

September 19th, 2014 3 Comments By Mof Gimmers

Imagine for a second, you’re the kind of berk who sleeps rough outside a shop, so you can get your hands on a telephone before everyone else.

Well, over in Perth (the Australian one), a young fella was the first person to get his hands on a new iPhone6 and the TV crews rushed over to him to say ‘Well?’ and the answer of course would’ve been ‘Yep. That’s an iPhone alright’

However, Jack, the owner of the phone managed to drop it on the floor.

As you can see in the video, there’s seemingly no lasting damage to the handset, which is a shame. It would’ve been great to see it smash into a million pieces, but there you go.

Man fined for headbutting sausage roll machine

September 17th, 2014 7 Comments By Ian Wade

sausage rolls Man fined for headbutting sausage roll machineSausage roll news now, and a baker has been prosecuted for head-butting a sausage roll machine in anger when it stopped working properly.

The baker, Shane Thompson who is 22, had been working on the £27,000 computer-controlled machine, and something went awry, he lost his mind and head-butted the display screen

He head-butted with such force, he created a crack measuring six by four inches on the display scren

His bosses reckon it would cost £3,204 to fix, Prosecutor Kathryn Reeve told the court in Scarborough.

It was at his time at Yorkshire Baker, which he’d been happily working at for 17 months previously, where he lost his bap.

His former bosses docked £295 from his wages to cover the cost of the damage and wanted the £2,909 balance, the court heard. Defending solicitor Robert Vining said: “The defendant is at a total loss to understand how butting a glass screen and cracking it results in that piece of equipment being worthless.”

“He admits he became frustrated with the equipment. It was not making the pastry properly so he lost his temper and head-butted the glass screen and cracked it.”

We’ve all done it, yeah?

He was given a 12-month conditional discharge and ordered to pay £720 compensation towards the cost of repairing the machine. Thompson has since found a new job as ride operator at Flamingo Land theme park.

Is there anyone on Earth with a better CV than Shane Thompson? We’re quite serious.

Rave homeowner unable to name house Hardcore

September 17th, 2014 No Comments By Ian Wade

smiley face 300x300 Rave homeowner unable to name house HardcoreA man who owns his own house, has been blocked from registering it under a new name.

Daniel Lewis of Clapham in Bedfordshire, wanted to change his house name to ‘Hardcore Mansions’ but Bedford Borough Council – the SQUARES – have said no to this as it could be potentially offensive.

Mr Lewis sounds like quite the old raver, and reckons the name change stems from his nights out when this great land was a Rave Nation.

“Hardcore Mansions was [the name we used to call] our friend’s house,” he said. Before heading down what’s-left-of-his-memory lane.

He was at great lengths to point out that it has absolutely nothing to do with pornography.

“You have to apply to the council to get that done… [but] they refused on two separate occasions,” he said. ”They said it was inappropriate and could be offensive.”

“I did write to them and outline there was a number of different meanings to hardcore but they just took it down the sexual route and told me I couldn’t have it.”

Which ironically, Mr Lewis sounded like he very much ‘had it’ back in simpler times.

In a bid to get some arse from the council all upset, Mr Lewis has now put up a neon sign depicting the name and said he has no plans to remove it. Maybe some switched on neighbours will ask if they can feel it. Or something.

Pizza Hut: Now with free live animal

September 17th, 2014 1 Comment By Mof Gimmers

An Australian Pizza Hut joint has finished scratching their head after there was a kerfuffle about a recent offer they promoted.

Basically, the restaurant offered to give customers a free pet with the purchase of 10 large pizzas.

30639 o571ye 500x281 Pizza Hut: Now with free live animal

In a statement Pizza Hut Australia apologised saying that the Mount Waverley store had taken the poster down and that the promotion had not been approved centrally.

“It has come to our attention that one of our stores have recently been running a promotion which was not approved by Pizza Hut Australia, nor was condoned in any circumstances. We would like to sincerely apologise to anyone who was offended by this,” they said.

“The poster has since been taken down and all those involved have been made aware of the severity and inappropriateness of the promotion.”

Of course, if you get 10 large pizza from this lot, it probably equates to one hamster’s worth of meat anyway, so really, it is much ado about nothing.

Want ‘mobile phone’ lanes on your street?

September 16th, 2014 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

mobile Want mobile phone lanes on your street?The Chinese city of Chongqing, there’s a smartphone footpath lane, which means that people who walk with purpose won’t get stuck behind someone who can’t stop messaging their bae, or scrolling through an ex-girlfriend’s photos on Facebook in a bid to upset themselves while looking at just how much they’ve moved on, and the various sexual partners they’ve moved on with.

Heartbreaking isn’t it? Especially when they’ve not had it off with them at all and you’re just a paranoid loser. Just us then?

Anyway,  the city’s property manager says it’s intended to be a bit of a joke. Only a bit mind you – the purpose of this wheeze is to remind people that it’s dangerous to tweet while walking in the street. Furthermore, it can get really irritating for others, especially if they’re still a member of ‘I Secretly Want To Punch Slow Walking People In The Back Of The Head’ group on Facebook.

“There are lots of elderly people and children in our street, and walking with your cellphone may cause unnecessary collisions here,” Nong Cheng, the marketing official with Meixin Group – which manages the area in the city’s entertainment zone – said.

And so, there’s a 50m stretch of footpath with two lanes and one of them prohibits mobile use next to one that allows pedestrians to fanny around on their phones (at their “own risk”).

1410831662379 500x281 Want mobile phone lanes on your street?

Nong said the idea came from a similar thing in Washington DC, which was created by National Geographic Television in July as part of a behaviour experiment.

Turns out that this lane is causing more hold-ups than before as everyone is getting their phones out to take photographs of the warning signs and the lane itself.

“Those using their cellphones of course have not heeded the marking,” she said. “They don’t notice them.”

At last! The selfie hat!

September 15th, 2014 No Comments By Ian Wade

selfie hat 207x300 At last! The selfie hat!It’s London Fashion Week! And you know what, where better a place than to showcase this marvellous selfie sombrero. Say that again to yourself, out loud.

“Selfie sombrero.”

The ‘brainchild’ (used very loosely in this case) of designer Christian Cowan-Sanluis and Acer, the Selfie Hat is a snip at £599.

Yes, for just £599, you could model the hat, which is able to spin and take pictures of you from all angles and is dubbed the ‘Christian Cowan-Sanluis x Acer Selfie-Hat’, it really is quite the thing.

Cowan-Sanluis has designed for that Lady Gaga in the past, so ‘reasonably normal’ is probably not a brief he adheres to.

The camera will assess which is your best side, as well as documenting these and posting them to social networks on your behalf. It’s probably at this point when concerned friends will wonder if you’re having some form of mental breakdown.

Acer, possibly pissing on a bucket of cash, claim: “We wanted to work with someone young and fresh, that not only understands the selfie culture, but both currently is part of it and works with people in it”.

Cowan-Sanluis explains: “With the hat, we wanted to take an element from my last collection, but correspondingly integrate the most popular zeitgeist there is in technology at the moment, the selfie. We also wanted to give it a fun and playful approach, but that in the end helps the user to better understand their face when taking a self-portrait.”

“There has been a lot of articles over the last year looking at how the selfie has gotten so big and being monetised on, celebrities such as Kim Kardashian making a selfie book and the term becoming part of mainstream society.”

“But on the other side, a lot of people taking selfies struggle to find the full potential of their front-facing camera when they use their hand. The hat helps to perfect the shot, either if it’s a cute, sexy or silly selfie.”

It is literally the worst thing ever.