Frozen food is uncool say the young

October 21st, 2014 No Comments By Ian Wade

Frosty Freezer 300x225 Frozen food is uncool say the youngYoung people don’t dig frozen food.

Or so that’s what a new survey claims, as it discovered that 18-34 year olds were twice as likely to dislike food stored in the freezer than those codgers over 35.

These fascinating findings come from IGD ShoperVista, who surveyed over 4,000 UK adults about their food storage solutions.

It transpires that many of the younger age group only used the freezer to store meat with a close use-by date and “unwanted food gifts”. Many considered food in their freezer an “insurance policy” for when no better options are available, and keep fun stuff like poppers and six-box of Magnums in their freezer instead.

Despite not being fans of frozen food, a quarter of 18-34-year-olds feel they have insufficient room in the freezer. Only 14% of over-35s also felt this to be an issue. Over half of those questioned in both age groups, said that they used their freezer for frozen food rather than freezing home cooked leftovers.

Yet it seems for the younger group, which represented only those who live away from home and do not have children, whatever is in their freezer is gash. Also: defrosting is a bit of a drag.

It all may sound a bit bleedin’ pointless, but this information comes as part of the IGD’s ‘Working On Waste’ campaign, which is trying to tackle these issues and change modern attitudes to leftovers and leaving something in the freezer for the best part of five years.

IGD chief executive, Joanne Denney-Finch says: “In its first year, Working on Waste will reach around 650,000 employees in one month through meal planning advice, top tips, what to do with leftovers and much more,”

“As an industry, we employ 3.6 million people and it is these employees that will form the bedrock of our campaign, taking learnings from their company into their households. A lot of progress has been made already by companies across the industry to help consumers reduce household food waste. However, seven million tonnes of food and drink is still being thrown away by UK homes every year.”

People often like to have a bit of fun with their online orders. Someone asked for their shopping to be delivered by someone in a penguin suit (and they obliged) while others have given dinosaurs with orders.

Well, one hungry redditor ordered a couple of pizzas with some caveats.

B0djzzdCMAAdtmA Behold the silly pizza order about spiders and revenge!

As you can see, the customer asked for a crispier than normal pizza crust with the note of “if that’s not vague enough – make it like you’re taking revenge on a cheating boyfriend BUT you still want to reconcile in the not too distant future.” As for the delivery guy, he was told to keep an eye out for a spider called Frank.

There’s three potential responses to this:

1. Urgh! Arseholes! Why won’t they let people just do their jobs without being so bloody wacky and trying to get internet famous all the time! I hope they spat on their pizzas!
2. Aw! How funny! Adding a little humour to the mundane! How fantastic!
3. $20 for two pizzas? Sign me up!

You can decide which category you fall in for yourself.

Waterstones lock Texan in their shop

October 17th, 2014 2 Comments By Mof Gimmers

An American who was visiting London, decided to pop into a branch of Waterstones to look at some books. However, he was so engrossed in his shop that he didn’t realise that all the customers had left and the staff had gone home for their chicken kievs and locked the building.

The staff, naturally, didn’t notice him either.

waterstones trapped 500x280 Waterstones lock Texan in their shop

The Texan spent all night alone in the empty shop, sending out a tweet or two while he was there. Of course, it wasn’t long before #waterstonestexan was hatched up and everyone jumped on it.

waterstones trapped 2 Waterstones lock Texan in their shop

waterstones trapped 3 Waterstones lock Texan in their shop

Some people were less concerned and thinking more about consumer hacks. We suspect Bitterwallet readers wouldn’t need telling to get their loyalty cards swiped throughout the night.

waterstones trapped 4 Waterstones lock Texan in their shop

Just after midnight, the Texan was freed from the Waterstones shop, presumably after helping himself to a coffee from the cafe in the store and creasing the spine on some books just to annoy future customers.

waterstones trapped 5 500x301 Waterstones lock Texan in their shopThe story doesn’t end there though. After becoming a Twitter sensation (mostly people taking the piss, of course), David Willis tweeted “I’m free” before telling his girlfriend he was okay.

waterstones trapped 6 Waterstones lock Texan in their shop

Oh well.

Facebook and Apple offering frozen egg service

October 16th, 2014 No Comments By Ian Wade

Mildly creepy news now, as Apple and Facebook are offering to freeze eggs for female employees.

In an interesting approach to try and expand their appeal for more females on their workforce, Apple said it would offer the perk to US-based staff from January.

“Apple cares deeply about our employees and their families, and we are always looking at new ways our health programmes can meet their needs,” said the company.

“We continue to expand our benefits for women, with a new extended maternity leave policy, along with cyropreservation and egg storage as part of our extensive support for infertility treatments … We want to empower women at Apple to do the best work of their lives as they care for loved ones and raise their families.”

It all sounds a bit Demon Seed really.

This, and other initiatives are said to be the doing of new human resources head Denise Young Smith, who is all for diversity and that. Facebook offers up to $20,000 (£13,000) for egg freezing for female employees. The company also offers adoption and surrogacy assistance.

Of course, they won’t actually be using the eggs to experiment on and try and build the first Google Child. That’s not going to happen. Oh no.

We Really Want… an invisible umbrella

October 16th, 2014 8 Comments By Mof Gimmers

All the best gadgets are the ones that are thoroughly pointless. You don’t need a tablet. You could easily live without remote controls. So with that, let us get excited about the fancy, but ultimately pointless invisible umbrella.

Even though trad. arr. umbrellas work pretty fine on their own, there’s a Kickstarter project that has developed an umbrella that replaces waterproof fabric for a force field. You heard. A force field.

And it has already raised and surpassed its $10,000 goal by three times.

If you can’t be bothered watching the video, basically, the umbrella is a rod that comes in three models, which basically are different from each other due to battery life and length.

“It’s a real ‘invisible umbrella,’ which takes advantage of the air flow as shelter from the rain,” the campaign page says.

It’s basically a plastic rod with a motor inside that sucks air in one end and blows it out at the other, creating an air blade that redirects the rain away from you, and onto anyone walking by.

Now for some sentences with double entendres: Model A is designed for women and will be 12 inches long and last for 15 minutes. Model B will be 20 inches long and will blow stuff out of the end for half an hour. Model c is extendible to 32 inches and will give you 30 minutes of satisfaction while you grip the shaft.

Thing is, this is quite heavy and probably quite noisy, so why have all these people coughed up their money to fund it? Have they spotted another use for it? Maybe you can make a bong out of it or something sex related?

Or is it just a case of people being tired of drying umbrellas indoors or they’ve had enough of them blowing inside out on wet, windy days? Or is the funding propelled by tall people who are tired of getting an umbrella in the eye?

One thing’s for certain – they have some design work to do as currently, it looks really very ugly.

air umbrella 500x246 We Really Want... an invisible umbrella

If you want to find out more about it, visit the Kickstarter here.

More video messaging solutions courtesy of Qik

October 15th, 2014 No Comments By Ian Wade

qik 300x285 More video messaging solutions courtesy of QikJust in case you weren’t keeping up to date with video messaging, along comes Qik. Qik was originally an app that came as part of the deal with Skype, but now Microsoft is trying to big it up as a separate thing.

According to Dan Chastney and Piero Sierra on Skype’s Big Blog: “A small team of Skype designers and developers recently took up the challenge to build a new app to run alongside Skype and provide an ongoing form of video chat.”

“They knew they had to create something mobile and lightweight, as spontaneous as messaging but as intimate as calling. And it had to be fun and easy to use. What they created was Skype Qik.”

Qik works on Google Android, Apple iOS, and Windows Phone gadgets. You can do 43 seconds of video footage to share over the internet, and then two weeks later it’s deleted. Like Snapchat, but with a longer tail.

The videos can be sent to multiple people simultaneously, who can reply in kind if they have Qik installed. If not, they get a text message with details about how to download it

Users can also records five-second GIFs, dubbed Qik Flik, to use if they are offline, but this can be only used on Android and iOS.

Skype bought Qik back in 2011 for $100 million and marketed it as a simple video chat app. But as Snapchat and a host of other firms started having success with short-lived picture and video apps, Microsoft decided to get in the game with this new software.

Internet security at risk from poodles

October 15th, 2014 No Comments By Ian Wade

poodle Internet security at risk from poodlesGoogle’s security team – imagine some detective types with torches, illuminating the dark passageways of the internet – have discovered a potential vulnerability in SSL 3.0.

Google reckon that SSL 3.0 is an insecure, obsolete protocol that has since been superseded. But even when servers support the more secure TLS 1.0, TLS 1.1 or TLS 1.2, the downgrading that takes place between servers and clients can be exploited using a POODLE (Padding Oracle On Downgraded Legacy Encryption) attack.

Bodo Möller from Google’s security team points out that this move will “break some sites” and the advice is to support TLS_FALLBACK_SCSV instead, at least for the time being. OR THE POODLES WILL GET YOU.

Basically an attacker can force this protocol downgrade to take place by preventing the initial connection from taking place. The encryption used in SSL 3.0 is fairly easily cracked and a relatively simple attack can then be used to intercept and decrypt secure cookies.

What that means is that hackers could steal browser cookies and potentially end up controlling your email, bank details and social network accounts.

So yes. BEWARE POODLES! Not only that – these POODLES are similar to another vulnerability called Firesheep. It seems that the internet is under threat from animals that have fluffy fur.

These problems will only affect people who haven’t updated their browsers in a while, so if you’re using Internet Explorer 6, you may find your computer filling up with wool. So update your browser now, y’idiot.

Shopper gets hit by 25mph mobility scooter in Tesco

October 15th, 2014 6 Comments By Mof Gimmers

mobility scooter 300x168 Shopper gets hit by 25mph mobility scooter in TescoIf you’re shopping at a Tesco in Plymouth, you’d better watch out because it sounds like there’s gangs of hoodlums charging about on mobility scooters.

One shopper has been injured after he was sent flying by an old bloke on his mobility scooter.

Bruce Storr, the man on the receiving end, reckons that the old coot was doing around 25 mph when he got hit, chipping a bone and leaving him hurt and confused. Police are investigating the collision that happened in the Plymouth Tesco, but the driver has not been charged by the cops.

Now, mobility scooters don’t actually go faster than 8mph, but Bruce Storr is a 67 year old lorry driver and he is sure that it was going three times the speed of that.

He said: “I was at the paper stand picking up a newspaper when he came shooting out of the aisle where they keep the videos and DVDs. It was doing about 25mph – being a HGV driver I am a very good judge of speed.”

“Hit me on the backside. I was knocked backwards by a good five or six feet and landed on my shoulder and my head. I was on the floor when the ambulance came and they took me to A&E. The police were also there and spoke to witnesses and took statements. I didn’t see much else but my Granddaughter said he was a grumpy old man, swinging his legs around like he didn’t care. He didn’t apologise.”

Remember that – lorry drivers are a very good judge of speed.

A spokesman for Devon and Cornwall Police said: “The man was taken to hospital with minor injuries and police attended the scene. Inquiries are ongoing.”

Anyone for an Ebola toy?

October 15th, 2014 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

Want to get your loved one something special for Christmas this year? Maybe you want to get them a weekend break in Italy? Perhaps you want to buy them jewellery?

Or maybe you want to buy them some Ebola?

Well, if the latter is your thing, we’ve got just the thing as there’s an Ebola plush toy you can buy from a company called GIANTmicrobes®, who are dedicated to making toys “designed as a teaching tool to help small children learn about the importance of handwashing.”

ebola toy Anyone for an Ebola toy?

It’ll set you back $9.95 for one a million times the size of actual Ebola, or if you’d like a gigantic version, that’ll cost you $29.95, with an additional $14.95 for the accompanying petri dish.

You’d be advised from avoiding taking your Ebola onto a plane though, for fear of men in frightening suits coming to throw you off onto the airport tarmac.

Click here if you want to buy one.

Free prawn sandwich with Roy Keane books

October 11th, 2014 1 Comment By Mof Gimmers

Roy Keane has been having a pop at just about everyone on Earth in his latest book.

Tesco, ignoring their recent troubles, decided to have a giggle at the whole thing and do a creative/sarcastic promotion for the book by offering prawn sandwiches to those who bought a copy.

BzqpII3IMAA3BiN 333x500 Free prawn sandwich with Roy Keane books

 

Well played Tesco.

[via @Fozzington]

Wee in the shower- save time, money and water

October 10th, 2014 5 Comments By Thewlis

shower 300x200 Wee in the shower  save time, money and waterWhile some people might think there are more sanitary things to worry about, saving water on toilet flushing is not a new idea- you can already buy things to put inside your cistern to prevent the tank filling, giving you a smaller and less powerful but more economical flush (although this can presumably cause its own problems on certain occasions)- and who can forget the questionable “if it’s yellow, let it mellow” approach to flushing.

But although this latest news might sound like a toilet humour joke, some students at the University of East Anglia (UEA) have actually launched a campaign to encourage people to take a slash in the shower instead of using the toilet. The campaign is called Go with the Flow.

Students Chris Dobson and Debs Torr have looked into it and have calculated that the water saving benefits could be huge. They said that if all of UEA’s 15,000 students took their first wee of the day whilst they were having their morning shower, they could save enough water over a year to fill an Olympic-sized swimming pool 26 times.

But in case Olympic swimming pools aren’t enough to incentivise you, they’ve also calculated how much money you would save by not flushing that first time in the morning. Based on a cost of two pence per flush, you could save £7.30 annually. Presumably this saving is per person who would otherwise have flushed, meaning student houses could save a fortune.

But don’t worry about the hygienic aspects, the campaign has got that covered because the students spoke to a professor (of wee?) and researched the potential health risks of weeing in the shower before they started the campaign. “As long as the water is flowing there is no hygiene risk as urine is sterile,” they said, although they did add that they would “encourage that every person using the same shower consents to the challenge and if not that they don’t take part.” We foresee some interesting house share meetings.

The two students are representing UEA in the Npower Future Leaders Challenge to inspire students to come up with an environmental initiative for their campus.

Mr Dobson said: “We’ve done the maths, and this project stands to have a phenomenal impact. Imagine how big an impact it could have if we could get everyone in East Anglia, or even the UK, to change their morning habits.

But he did admit that “the campaign has been really divisive – people either seem to love it or hate it.” Funny that.

Still, if you need one final thing to convince you to wee down your own legs, you can win one of 15 £10 vouchers by going on Facebook or Twitter and telling all of your (former) friends and followers that you wee in the shower, using the hastag ‘#gowiththeflow’.

Spamwatch: Emma Watson

October 10th, 2014 No Comments By Ian Wade

emma watson sofia vergara 300x156 Spamwatch: Emma WatsonPoor old Emma Watson – she’s become the latest front for an internet virus.

Ads claiming to have nudey footage of the Harry Potter star are actually trojans riddled with malware.

Serves you right if you’re that type of person into leaked celebrity baps to be honest.

Bitdefender’s cooly-named Chief Security Strategist, Catalin Cosoi, told Digital Spy: “It all starts with a Facebook comment promising to reveal private or leaked videos of Emma Watson”.

“The comments are automatically posted by users infected with the malware. As is the case with many Facebook scams, victims end up as marketers for cyber-crooks.”

“When users click on the malicious links, they are redirected to a salacious YouTube copycat. Future victims are then asked to update their Flash Player to the latest secured version of Video Player, as an error allegedly prevents them from watching the leaked videos of Emma Watson.”

As if you needed reminding, trojan malware is a bastard, and will rifle through your computer for anything stealable.

Disguised by the Flash Player icon, Trojan downloads the infected components into computer files. The videos themselves are hosted by a fake YouTube account, identified by the Anonymous Guy Fawkes avatar in the left hand corner.

So anyway. Norks on the internet. More harm than good.

Amazon actually on the high street

October 10th, 2014 No Comments By Ian Wade

amazoninstant Amazon actually on the high streetAmazon is opening its first proper shop.

Yes, having pretty much decimated the high street with selling its wares on the internet, the online behemoth has decided to set up an actual proper shop.

However it’s in New York. By the Empire State Building. Oh.

The 7 West 34th Street location will act as a mini-warehouse, but also cater for same-day deliveries in the city, product exchanges and customers picking up orders they have placed online, the Wall Street Journal claimed.

Which is a bit like Argos if you think about it.

Amazon may also use the store to showcase products such as its Kindle e-reader, Fire smartphone and Fire TV set-top box. The company have been scouting out locations for a shop for a while now, possibly in Seattle where the company is based.

This new shop is being deemed an experiment, and if it doesn’t go tits up, there’ll be more shops rolling out across the planet before you know it.

A survey by retail agency Live & Breathe last year found that 31% of shoppers want Amazon to open physical shops on the UK high street, because they needed to go outside occasionally, and sitting about in a gloomy precinct overrun by tat seemed preferable.

Red Bull: No wings pay-out

October 10th, 2014 2 Comments By Ian Wade

red bull 300x199 Red Bull: No wings pay outRed Bull customers have been hammering them for a payout, after they were sued for false advertising.

It turns out that the slogan “Red Bull gives you wings”, which the company had been using for over a decade is false. It doesn’t actually give you wings.

SORRY TO BREAK IT TO YOU THIS WAY.

Anyone who felt slighted by not obtaining wings after glugging down the syrupy energy gloop, can now take advantage of a cash reimbursement from Red Bull, after they set $13 million aside into an account.

No. Seriously.

Figuring that it would quietly die down, the company’s website has now been inundated with claims, with the likelihood of the settlement devaluing somewhat from the initial $10 to less than $3, due to an internet storm.

The site has been visited over four million times now, but as no proof of purchase is needed – anyone could feasibly waltz in and say that they broke their back jumping from a block of flats under the proviso that wings would occur, and that’d be cool apparently.

You have until March 2015 to claim your pay-out (which will be next-to-nothing) if you were in anyway affected by the lack of wings.

Of course, if they had advertised it as ‘Red Bull gives you a massive headache and buggers about with your sleep patterns’ then there’d be none of this palaver.

God help us if there’s a war.

fat blogger 294x300 Charging your phone in a bedroom makes you fatHere’s a thing you probably didn’t know – charging your phone in your bedroom while you sleep is making you fat.

That’s the slightly barmy findings from a study by the University of Granada.

They reckon that artificial light from phone screens, street lights, laptops or television stops the body generating a hormone that combats obesity.

So that’s why you’re lardy, obviously. Not those 8 packets of shortbread fingers and a share bag of Doritos you had after your tea, all by yourself. It’s your phone’s screen.

You need Melatonin to regulate sleep patterns and it is a powerful anti-inflammatory that boosts the metabolism.

The scientists resorted to trying it out on rats, and saw that increased consumption of the hormone made them lose weight and also fought type two diabetes. Naturally they believe it can have the same effect on humans. Countries around the world are starting to strain at the edges due to an increase in obesity rates and diabetes.

Professor Agil, who lead the study, said: “Currently this process is frequently interrupted, as a result of excessive exposure to artificial lightning during the night, which reduces the levels of endogenous melatonin. For instance, many people are in the habit of sleeping with their lamps, televisions or their computers switched on, or with the blinds drawn up.”

“For all these reasons, it is important to try to sleep in absolute darkness, to avoid interference in the generation of melatonin.”

So there you have it.