strongbow 300x300 Strongbow   not more important that your relationshipsStrongbow has had an advert on its YouTube channel banned. Why? The Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) ruled that it showed alcohol as ‘being a priority in life’. 99% of Bitterwallet’s readers just spat on the floor in disgust and started pacing around looking to fight someone, guaranteed.

So who raised a complaint? Well, the Youth Alcohol Advertising Council (YAAC), supported by Alcohol Concern, complained about the advert, which showed a pretend (remember that – ‘pretend’, as in ‘make believe’) award ceremony, which showed a winning category called “Best Strongbow as my other half”.

The pretend winner of the award, Carl, didn’t pick his pretend award up, because he was on a ‘date’, but sent in a make-believe video to profess his pretend “love” for Strongbow cider.

Heineken, who own Strongbow, said that they thought the whole advert was “obviously a parody”, and nothing in the ad showed ‘Carl’ to be a ”regular, solitary drinker”, or someone who used alcohol to relieve boredom or other problems. And it didn’t say that alcohol was a priority in his life. It is also all made-up. Just making sure you remember that.

YAAC’s complaint said that they were worried that the ad implied Carl was not at the awards ceremony because he was drinking instead. Imagine that. Drinking booze. What a world! Not only that, an advert for an alcoholic beverage, which leaves the viewer imagining drinking some booze themselves. Crazy town.

The ASA conceded that the advert was supposed to be humorous, but the fact that ‘Carl’ said he ‘loved’ Strongbow showed that he thought his relationship with booze was as important as a significant romantic relationship with another person.

The watchdog said in its ruling: “We considered that where the presenter stated Carl was on a date, viewers were likely to infer from this either that Carl was not at the awards ceremony because he was with Strongbow or that, judging from the presenter’s tone of voice, expression and where he stated “… good luck with your date”, which indicated a level of scepticism, the date was unlikely to go well because Carl was already committed to his relationship with Strongbow.”

The ad must not appear again in its current form.

argos logo Argos to offer same day deliveries, seven days a weekArgos are going to be offering same-day home delivery service, for all seven days of the week. This new service kicks off today, and allows you to order something by 6pm, and have it delivered by 10pm for a flat fee of £3.95.

They’re going to be using their own drivers for this service, rather than employing a courier service to do it for them. That’s 3,300 drivers that have got jobs through all this, which is pretty great. Argos did this, because they wanted to recruit locally, so they could hire locals who are familiar with their own area.

This follows the one-hour delivery service that Argos are trialling in That London, which will cost you £6.99 if you’re thinking of using it.

John Walden, chief executive of Argos owner Home Retail Group, said: “We believe Fast Track is the next big innovation and brings shopping into the digital age for customers, allowing them to get up to 20,000 products in their hands faster than ever before.”

“We can do this because we are a different type of retailer. We know where every product is in our network and for customers who shop across digital channels – online and mobile – that means they can get what they want faster and with certainty.”

For more on the Argos Fast Track service, have a look here.

What do you think of the new Morrisons logo?

October 7th, 2015 2 Comments By Mof Gimmers

Our struggling pals over at Morrisons are looking at using a new logo, because that’ll sort out all their problems won’t it? While they ditch their price match scheme (thanks to it being confusing and neither use, nor ornament), they think a rebranding could be the way forward.

The supermarket have registered their new logo with the government’s Intellectual Property Office and are testing out at a store in Leeds. Have a look.

new morrisons logo 500x354 What do you think of the new Morrisons logo?

Now, to Bitterwallet, this either looks like it has a lit match in the middle of it, or an avant garde representation of Donald Trump’s head. We just can’t decide. You’ll notice it incorporates ‘since 1899′, as they try and remind us that they’ve been doing our groceries for a long time. Marketing teams will refer to this as ‘heritage awareness’ or something.

Either way, looks like there’s a major rebranding going on, as new gaffer David Potts rolls out his “transformation plan”. There’s seven versions of this new branding, all featuring the Morrisons ‘tree’.

At least they won’t have to rebrand their M stores, as they’ve sold them all off.

ocado logo 300x204 Ocado to create around 2,000 permanent jobs before ChristmasThe online supermarket Ocado have launched a big ol’ recruitment drive, as they look for 1,798 permanent staff to join them before Christmas.

They’re looking for a host of roles to be filled, including business support people, packers, operations, customer services, service delivery, HR, development & engineering and more. Of course, the biggest amount of jobs being offered will be for drivers.

Julie Markey, human resources director at Ocado, said: “We have been rapidly expanding our business across the country. Our new recruits, at all levels, will play a vital role in our business and will be the driving force behind our next stage of development so it’s an exciting time to join us.”

If you are looking for a job, do remember to actually read all the article that we’ve written. The ‘we’ being ‘Bitterwallet’, a news and sarcasm source. We are absolutely and unequivocally not Ocado, so we can’t help you get a job. Don’t be leaving a comment asking us to contact you either. Besides, who leaves their phone number with a company who are recruiting and says “Aye, give us a job mate. Here’s my number. You can chase me up, seeing as you’ve got nothing better to do.”

Anyway, if you’re reading this and want to be ahead of those who will end up in our comments, check out Ocado’s job offerings, by clicking here. Good luck and all that.

LinkedIn to pay massive fine for annoying emails

October 7th, 2015 4 Comments By Mof Gimmers

LinkedIn logo initials 300x300 LinkedIn to pay massive fine for annoying emailsLinkedIn – the most annoying social media platform on the planet – looks like they’re going to have to cough up some clams thanks to their insistent and annoying emails. LinkedIn have agreed to pay $13 million to users over their Add Connections feature.

A court found that users didn’t consent to the additional reminder emails, which were sent after the original connection requests. Thanks to this, those users with accounts between September 2011 and October 2014 are likely to at least qualify for a payout.

Of course, this won’t stop LinkedIn sending everyone a million emails a week and being more needy than a recently dumped emo.

They released a statement:

“LinkedIn recently settled a lawsuit concerning its Add Connections product. In the lawsuit, a number of false accusations were made against LinkedIn. Based on its review of LinkedIn’s product, the Court agreed that these allegations were false and found that LinkedIn’s members gave permission to share their email contacts with LinkedIn and to send invitations to connect on LinkedIn. Because the Court also suggested that we could be more clear about the fact that we send reminder emails about pending invitations from LinkedIn members, we have made changes to our product and Privacy Policy. Ultimately, we decided to resolve this case so that we can put our focus where it matters most: finding additional ways to improve our members’ experiences on LinkedIn. In doing so, we will continue to be guided by our core value — putting our Members First.”

Get all that? Anyway, the actual settlement hasn’t been approved by the court as of yet, but if you want more information on this lawsuit and want to file a claim, you need to do it by December 14th and you should click here.

Tesco profits drop by more than half

October 7th, 2015 1 Comment By Mof Gimmers

tesco Tesco profits drop by more than halfTesco have watched their profits drop by more than half over the first half of their financial year, going from £779m to £354m. Now, that is still a lot of money, but when your profits drop by half within 6 months, if they keep that up, they’ll soon have no profits at all.

Life-for-like sales were down by 1.1%, and yet somehow, these figures were marginally better than some people in the City had initially feared.

Of course, Tesco have been having a howler of a year, and it all goes back to the accounting scandal which saw the supermarket posting a £6.4bn loss.

The company’s chief executive, Dave Lewis, said: “We have delivered an unprecedented level of change in our business over the last 12 months and it is working. The first half results show sustained improvement across a broad range of key indicators.”

While Lewis is thinking about his broad range of key indicators, there’s more trouble ahead for Tesco, what with the Serious Fraud Office about to deliver their findings after their investigation into the business.

The SFO have been talking to former finance director Laurie McIlwee, one of the most senior figures at the retailer, as a witness. They’ll also be talking to Chris Bush, Tesco’s former UK managing director, asking him how you manage to balls-up a company that was doing as well as Tesco were. This pair are being interviewed, but not accused of anything, for the record. This is rather different to the way the SFO went about interviewing former chief executive Phil Clarke, who was interviewed under caution.

It is thought that the investigation will be done before the year is out, but we’ll just have to wait and see. If someone has been doing something especially crooked in all this, they could be looking at 10 years in prison.

sainsburys 300x192 Are Sainsburys not giving as much to charity through Plastic Bag Tax?The Plastic Bag Tax made some people very angry and confused, despite it being one of the most simple premises in the world. Either way, most people back the idea of reducing the amount of plastic bags used in England, and who can really complain if the money generated from the 5p sale goes to charity?

Well, it looks like Sainsbury’s are employing a loophole and have been accused of giving less money to charity than their rivals.

So what’s the craic? Well, most supermarkets are using the same plastic bags as before, and giving the proceeds from them to good causes. Sainsbury’s however, have got rid of all their old plastic bags and have replaced them with sturdier, reusable bag for 5p, with free replacements when they break or wear thin.

The kicker here, is that these carrier bags fall outside the new law, which means that Sainsbury’s have no obligation to give anything to charity.

In a statement to The Telegraph, Sainsbury’s said that some of the money from the 5p charge goes toward the cost of supplying their new bags, which are pricier than the bog-standard carrier bags. They are voluntarily giving the rest of the money away to good causes. The rest of the supermarkets are offering bags that are less than 0.07mm thick, and are only allowed to take “reasonable costs” from the 5p fee. Asda and Morrisons waived their opportunity to deduct costs entirely. Official guidelines on the deductions a business can take are: “You can’t include existing costs, such as the cost of the bags. You’re likely to see reasonable costs significantly reduce after the first year.”

And lo, it turns out Sainsbury’s have been able to reduce their costs by this method, but the bags they’re selling must also be sold for more than 5p by law, but they don’t have to because they can reduce the price using the money they would’ve given to a charity. It is worth pointing out that they’re not actually doing anything illegal, but there’s going to be some consumers that aren’t happy about this, and think the whole thing is not really in the spirit of scheme.

Volkswagen Logo 300x300 VW quietly launch websites so you can check if your car is affected by emissions scandalAfter all that emissions scandal nonsense concerning Volkswagen, it turns out that VW are testing a new system which will alert drivers whether or not they are affected by the the whole thing.

On the quiet, Volkswagen and Audi sites are already being tested, while the Skoda and SEAT sites are going to be up and raring to go soon enough.

So, if you think you have a car that has the dodgy software that has been lying about the amount of emissions it puts out, you can go and check on the sites now.

Click here to go to the VW website

Click here to go to the Audi website

Click here to go to the Skoda website

Click here to go to the SEAT website

A lot of drivers will have a lot of questions that need answering about all this. There’s a screengrab below, and we’re sure that VW and related companies will be getting in touch soon. You can start your own investigations now.

stream img 500x280 VW quietly launch websites so you can check if your car is affected by emissions scandal

Matthias Müller, he’s the new Volkswagen chief executive, said that they should start recalling vehicles in January and complete repairs by the end of 2016.

taxwall 300x224 Google, Apple and more   theyre coming after your tax!While Google have sneakily dropped their ‘don’t be evil’ motto, they’re finding that people are coming after their tax, along with other companies like Starbucks and Apple.

Basically, big-ass businesses have been enjoying a variety of loopholes so they can sidestep billions in tax, but that could well be a thing of the past, thanks to a worldwide clampdown. World trade body the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) announced that they are looking at getting back some of the £160billion they reckon they’ve lost to tax avoidance by multinational companies.

The OECD say that this ‘seismic shift’ in international tax rules is going to force the hand of these massive companies, where they’ll have to cough-up the money that is due, as they ban ‘brass plate’ operations in low-tax territories and outlaw dicky loans between companies.

“This is coming to an end,” said OECD head of tax Pascal Saint-Amans, aiming to help “local companies that cannot benefit from loopholes in the international system”. Finance ministers from around the world are going to meet up, to look over the plans. Over 60 countries have already agreed to them.

Saint-Amans added that many tax laws date back to the 1930s and are “not fit for purpose”, which has led to “more and more aggressive planning from companies”, which will have “a major behavioural impact” on large firms.

Next week: Huge businesses find a different way of not paying taxes.


Next are looking for Christmas staff

October 6th, 2015 27 Comments By Mof Gimmers

next shop 300x180 Next are looking for Christmas staffBitterwallet continues to bring the jobs to you, this time, Next looking to take people on for Christmas. That’d be Next there, looking to give you a job – not Bitterwallet. We’re a news and sarcasm source – we can’t help you at all.

Of course, a number of people aren’t even reading these words. In previous posts like this, people have just asked for a job, got in touch in the comments, left their number and personal details and asked us to get in touch, like we’ll sort them out with a job.

These people are literally not reading the words. Look at the comments on this Boots article, this Argos article, and this Royal Mail article we published. So with that, we’re making all the words of this article about how we can’t get you a job, but rather, point you in the direction of where you can apply. The links above will also take you to articles which link to the careers pages of the companies, if you’re going to go on an applying spree this week.

So, given that we’ve written all that, do you fancy working for Next over Christmas? If you do, then you should click here to see what Next are offering. You can also see how many vacancies are at each branch, by clicking here, which is a nifty tool.

Happy job hunting. You’re not reading this are you? Comments asking for jobs in 3… 2…

facepalm Morrisons drop confusing Aldi and Lidl Match & More price promiseDo you remember Morrisons taking on Lidl and Aldi with a price matching offer? Well, they’ve decided that they’re going to stop doing it, just one year after they kicked the scheme off.

A Morrisons spokesman said: “Our customers said that sometimes they were confused by the price matching scheme, where sometimes they got points and sometimes they didn’t. A lot of customers struggled with the fact that if their basket was cheapest, they didn’t get any points. Customers generally want more points, and a loyalty scheme should be a thank you for spending.”

“In future, customers will be rewarded with points on everything they spend, and will get many more points when buying products with promotions attached.”

Get that? Now, cast your mind back to Morrisons launching this price matching scheme and recall how Lidl responded to it.

That’s right – they trolled the crap out of Morrisons, by pointing out that you could jump through all these hoops and do all manner of needlessly confusing things… or you could just shop where things were cheaper.

The ad they ran was executed perfectly and now, turns out to be true.

IMG 20141004 092235 408x500 Morrisons drop confusing Aldi and Lidl Match & More price promise

So what’s changing with Morrisons? Well, from November 2nd 2015, you’ll no longer have to spend £15 in one go to earn Morrisons points. From then, you’ll earn 5 points for every £1 you spend in the supermarket.

However, you won’t get points if you could have bought items cheaper in Aldi, Lidl or another rival supermarket. You can still get a £5 voucher for every 5,000 points you collect, and earn 10 points per litre when you buy fuel… and yes, this isn’t wholly clear cut, but that doesn’t matter because no-one shops at Morrisons anyway.

Drunk teenager throws hissy fit in McDonald’s

October 6th, 2015 1 Comment By Mof Gimmers

mcdonalds logo Drunk teenager throws hissy fit in McDonaldsSometimes, you just have to take your punishment on the chin. If you’re drunk or far too rude to service staff, and they tell you to leave, the best thing to do is get out of dodge and take it from there. Of course, some people really, really like causing a massive scene.

They may tell you that they’re trying to get what should be rightfully theirs, but really, no-one ever got all up in a manager’s face, called them a number of names and shoved them around, only for the staff to say “you know what? We’ve changed our minds and you can get served.”

And so, to America where no-one can handle their ale, and a drunk teenager who wanted some kind of Big Mac at a McDonald’s. In fact, it was a bacon jalapeño Mac and cheese, which sounds absolutely brilliant.

Anyway, drunk and underage, he decides to give the manager and staff a load of aggro, for aaaaaages. Seriously. The restraint on this manager is something else. The temptation to smack this little bozo must have crossed his mind countless times. We suspect a number of BW readers would’ve lobbed this kid out of the nearest window.

Either way, watch this video and have a think how you’d get on and to see how the drunk teenager acts like a massive wuss when the authorities arrive.


tesco Tesco ditch £93,000s worth of garlic bread for lyingTesco have had to withdraw nearly 70,000 packs of garlic bread slices, after it turned out they were selling them at the wrong weight. That’s right – Tesco have been swizzing people out of product by flogging underweight garlic bread.

Shout out to anyone who just shouted “GARLIC BREAD?!” in their heads just now.

So what’s the deal? Well, after visiting some stores in Scotland, Trading Standards officers found that 39 packets of the supermarket’s own-brand product had net weights below the figure declared on the packaging. Some were quite substantial too, being 20% less than what was advertised.

As a result, Tesco have had to remove the offending product from shelves, to the tune of around £93,000′s worth of garlic bread.

The Trading Standards manager, Wilma Urquhart, said: “Aberdeenshire council’s Trading Standards service takes these incidents extremely seriously and we were pleased to see that the supermarket acted swiftly following the discovery.”

“By issuing an emergency product withdrawal, batches worth £93,000 have been removed from the shelves. Our work is very important in protecting both consumers and businesses from unfair competition, and the service will continue to work with both Tesco and Bakkavör [the baker of the product] to ensure legislative compliance.”

A Tesco spokesman said: “We take great care to deliver clear information for our customers so they can make informed decisions on the products they buy and to ensure that customers receive the stated quantity of product.”

“We are disappointed that errors occurred with a very small number of products and we have worked with our supplier to ensure there is no repeat of the issue.”

Facebook loses EU court battle

October 6th, 2015 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

Bitterwallet Facebook censorship Facebook loses EU court battleFacebook hit a snag in their EU privacy court case, and it looks like it has come to bite them on the arse. The EU Court of Justice has said that the transfer of European Facebook users’ data over to America could well be suspended.

The court ruled that the key agreement which allows US companies to transfer EU users’ data to the USA is invalid, because “that country does not afford an adequate level of protection.” Basically, the EU don’t think American data protection laws are up to much.

The thing that has been allowing the transfer of personal data is called the Safe Harbour agreement, but that is now under threat. Basically, it has been allowing US intelligence agencies to track Europeans, and it won’t only be Facebook that fall foul of this – a lot of tech companies enjoy the fruits of this particular agreement.

“American companies are going to have to restructure how they manage, store and use data in Europe and this take a lot of time and money,” says Mike Weston, CEO of data science consultancy Profusion.

Max Schrems launched the legal challenge regarding Safe Harbour after Edward Snowden dropped his revelations all over the place, about the US National Security Agency (NSA)’s Prism surveillance system, which basically allows spies to look at everyone’s personal data from all over the globe.

The ruling said: “The national security, public interest and law enforcement requirements of the United States prevail over the Safe Harbour scheme, so that United States undertakings are bound to disregard, without limitation, the protective rules laid down by that scheme where they conflict with such requirements.”

“The United States safe harbour scheme thus enables interference, by United States public authorities, with the fundamental rights of persons, and the Commission decision does not refer either to the existence, in the United States, of rules intended to limit any such interference or to the existence of effective legal protection against the interference.”

“The Court adds that legislation permitting the public authorities to have access on a generalised basis to the content of electronic communications must be regarded as compromising the essence of the fundamental right to respect for private life.”

Even though most people know that the new plastic bag charge of 5p is really easy to work out, some people are having a really hard time of it. Some are angry, while sections of the press are talking about the ‘confusion’ that will reign down on the people of England.

Seriously. 5p for a carrier bag. That’s all you need to know. It is so easy, that even an unborn foetus could fathom it, and they don’t even have fingernails in which to prise them apart. Of course, this move is a bid to try and reduce the amount of litter that bags create, and cut back on the manufacturing process which isn’t too great environmentally either.

Seeing as we’ve all got loads of plastic bags in a drawer or under the sink, stuffed inside another plastic bag, we should all be just fine, right? Wrong. One person is going to protest against this move.

CQjuGbVWEAI6 5A 500x113 Plastic Bag Tax: the best angry and confused responses

Another is going to refuse to pay and has vowed to do it ’til the ‘day they die’, which is hilarious. All over plastic bags they already have and 5 pence they can afford.

CQj2oUDW8AAxDZu 500x160 Plastic Bag Tax: the best angry and confused responses

Of course, the Daily Mail – who have long campaigned against the free use of plastic shopping bags from supermarkets – are now a bit hysterical about the whole thing, and came up with a genius idea of how to ‘get around’ the charges.

CQimqPsVAAA9r1P 375x500 Plastic Bag Tax: the best angry and confused responses

That’s right! The whole point of the tax – to get people to use carrier bags they already have – is the Daily Mail’s advice for just saying “NO” to these measures that came in yesterday.

We can’t forget the chaos that will ensue, can we?

CQiEv2nWEAA9Tgv 387x500 Plastic Bag Tax: the best angry and confused responses

Some critics have said that the charges are too complicated, and may well lead to confusion and longer queues at the tills. Let Bitterwallet clear this up for you – you’ll get charged 5p for a plastic bag so take your own, or pay for one. In some smaller shops, you won’t get charged, but if you’ve got your own shopping bag on you, it won’t matter will it? Or you can take one, and use it at Tesco or Sainsbury’s or whatever.

Sky News even have a guide on ‘how the new bag changes affect you‘. A guide! It’s 5p or take your own! It’s a piece of piss to work out! Honestly, god help us if there’s a war (etc).

Anyway, if you’re going to be conducting a protest against your local supermarket for obeying the new laws, do let us know and preferably, film it, so we can include it in an article, so everyone can laugh at your impotent rage.

[images via the always excellent BestoftheMail]