According to the website for the small Street Coffee chain in London, you will ‘come happy leave edgy’. They use ‘organic, fair trade, directly sourced beans from Papua New Guinea’ and even went there to meet the farmers who produce the beans. As they say, ‘fairly paid farmers are happy farmers and we love happy farmers.’
In fact, Street Coffee are massive fans of the downtrodden – look, in their Bermondsey branch, they even sell affordable ‘Chav Coffee’! How thoughtful of them!
How do the nice folk at Claim4Refunds think of you potential customers? Well, according to their adverts, it would appear that they think you’re no better than stupid farmyard livestock with their example customers of the ovine Mr Baah of Manchester and the cow-brained Mr Bovingdon of London.
That counts for open contempt doesn’t it?
Here at Bitterwallet, we’re easily pleased and we adopted the faces of a pack of dogs being shown a card trick when we looked at the new promotional website for Grolsch.
It focuses on mean, moody policeman Journt, the man who never speaks but hears everything. He might have heard of you, and if he has, you’ll get a free four-pack of Grolsch.
It’ll cost you the price of a standard text (if you pay for such things) but you could win some booze… and you’ll probably get a nice surprise from what is a nicely-executed idea…
It’s almost time for the O***pics but as we know, it’s a heavily-branded affair, with no room in our eyespace for unofficial, unauthorised companies. Fortunately Oddbins are providing a safe haven for customers of those companies that aren’t allowed to affiliate themselves with the magic rings.
As part of their anti-O***pics campaign, anyone who goes into a branch of Oddbins wearing Nike trainers and has in their pocket a set of Vauxhall car keys, an RBS MasterCard, an iPhone, a bill from British Gas and a receipt for a Pepsi bought at KFC to receive 30 per cent off their purchase. It’s a big ask, but if that’s you, then you’re quids in for some bargain booze action.
Ayo Akintola, managing director at Oddbins, said: “The London Olympics is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for the whole of the UK’s business community to come together to support our fantastic athletes and celebrate an awe-inspiring festival of sport.
“But thanks to LOCOG (London Organising Committee of the Olympic and Paralympic Games), any business without the tens of millions of pounds required to join the cabal of multinational brand partners for the Games are reduced to the status of beggars on the gilded streets of the Olympic movement.
“We have taken steps to ensure our planned window displays do not flout any of these asinine rules, but we are doing this primarily to highlight the absurdity of the fact that the British people – who are paying for these games – are at the same time being subject to ridiculous rules. Even though our window designs will be within the rules, we would not be surprised if LOCOG goes loco.”
Strong words. Meanwhile, Paddy Power are getting ready to lock horns with LOCOG and are lawyering themselves up in preparation for a courtular battle with the O***pic rule book-wielding titans.
The scampish bookies have sponsored what they’re calling ‘the largest athletics event in London this year – but it’s an egg and spoon race in LONDON, FRANCE! (no, us neither). The ads went up around London, England and in the press yesterday, and naturally, LOCOG are doing everything they can to have them removed.
Can we maybe put an end to all this bullshit and get on with the ACTUAL SPORT please?
Shell have just had what is known on The Internet as a ‘fail’ with their latest marketing campaign, which invites ‘fans’ to add slogans to a set of images.
On the Arctic Ready website, Shell say: “With your help, we at Shell can tell the world how pumped we are about Arctic energy, and take the Arctic Ready message to Arctic-enthused drivers everywhere.
So take a moment to add your own slogan to our beautiful new collection of images. The next place you see it might be your own rearview mirror. Because tomorrow is yesterday, accelerated. Let’s go.”
Here are some of the most popular submissions to date. Probably not what Shell had in mind…
Yeah, it’s a Greenpeace thing. We all knew that.
With the Olympics mere days away, Londoners are preparing themselves for a month of not being able to get anywhere, and the rest of us are preparing to not be able to watch anything else on TV. The athlete’s village is swanky and stylish, the cleaners’ village (reportedly) not so much. And the less said about G4S the better.
Still, what has been a raving success of the Games so far is the sponsorship deals. We’ve already seen Samsung select its ‘worthy’ worldwide CEOs as torch bearers, and seen McDonalds ban everyone else from selling chips, because they paid for the right to all chips, other than those preceded by “fish n”. Now, the Olympics brand police are out to stamp on small and local businesses who, heaven forbid, might be insolent enough to consider using the Olympics to try and sell more stuff.
That’s right, the green and purple clad army are out right now, cruising the streets of London armed with newly-minted legislative powers to enter premises to sniff out possible brand infringements, and bring court action demanding fines of up to £20,000. The Olympic committee may not care about protecting athletes and visitors, but they’re sure as dammit going to protect their sponsors.
And it could be easier to get into hot water with the brand police than you might think. Olympics organisers have warned businesses that during the London 2012 event, their advertising should not include a list of banned words, including “gold”, “silver” and “bronze”, as well as the more generic “summer”, “sponsors” and “London”.
Pubs cannot advertising live TV coverage on blackboards that refer to beer brands or brewers without an Olympics deal, and caterers and restaurateurs have had their creativity stifled, being warned they cannot invent dishes that could be construed as having an association with the event.
Sponsorship fuinding is reported to have put up £1.4bn against the total £11.4bn Olympic bill. Justifying their stance, Locog said “These rights are acquired by companies who invest millions of pounds to help support the staging of the Games. People who seek the same benefits for free – by engaging in ambush marketing or producing counterfeit goods – are effectively depriving the Games of revenue.” Mmm. Just so long as all that lovely revenue gets returned to the people who paid for most of it* eh? Course it will.
So will the brand police attack every business in the area? Better not have a summer sale in August then, as that will clearly be an attempt to ambush the games, and have nothing to do with a common practice of having a sale in the summer season. What about summer puddings or summer clothes? What if your hippy parents named you Summer? Are you a walking violation? Or are the Games getting just a little too big for their boots? Boots sponsored by Adidas of course.
* most of the money has come from the taxpayer funded Olympic Development Agency, National Lottery funding and the Greater London local authority. But you already knew that didn’t you.
As we write this, there are major delays between Newcastle and Edinburgh on the east coast railway line, following torrential rain and flooding yesterday.
Today would be an ideal time for EastCoast to launch a new promotional campaign then!
[as spotted by rampant Twitter user @wadds]
Wow – these aren’t just headphones, they’re also a highly effective contraception device as well. Just HOW keen would you be to indulge in some undersheet hankage and/or pankage if your better half had clambered into your shared sleep-pit with a set of these wrapped tightly around his/her bonce area?
There’s plenty more where this glorious example came from over at the magnificent Voices Of East Anglia blog…
Implying the referee or his assistants need glasses is a well-worn joke, but Specsavers have put a cheeky twist on it with this Euro 2012 advert. Of course, it celebrates England being hugely jammy against Ukraine… would they have had the nuts to do it if the shoe was on the other foot?
Nike are the first company in the UK to have an advertising campaign banned on Twitter after the ASA decided that their use of personal (notably Wayne Rooney and Jack Wilshere’s) broke rules by not being obvious enough to be commercials.
The sportswear company have been promoting the ‘Make It Count’ strapline, and via Rooney’s account, tweeters saw: “My resolution — to start the year as a champion, and finish it as a champion…#makeitcount gonike.me/makeitcount”. Of course, now this has been banned, articles like this are giving Nike even more publicity.
Jack Wilshere did something similar, tweeting: In 2012, I will come back for my club — and be ready for my country.#makeitcount.gonike.me/Makeitcount”. Of course, the ASA has had to deal with a similar situation before, when Rio Ferdinand among others used their personal accounts to promote Snickers.
Nike have argued that footballers are well-known to be massive cash-slags, so they don’t think anyone has been misled at all. They added that the URL in the tweets were clearly branded as Nike, as well as carrying Nike’s new strapline, so everyone should’ve known that they weren’t personal tweets.
The ASA disagreed, pointing out that the content of the tweets was “agreed with the help of a member of the Nike marketing team” and that most Twitter users skim-read their feed and, as such, the adverts weren’t obvious enough and broke the marketing code that states that ads must be “obviously identifiable”.
“We considered that the Nike reference was not prominent and could be missed,” said the ASA. “We considered there was nothing obvious in the tweets to indicate they were Nike marketing communications. In the absence of such an indication, for example #ad, we considered the tweets were not obviously identifiable as Nike marketing communications and therefore concluded they breached the [advertising] code. The ads must no longer appear. We told Nike to ensure that its advertising was obviously identifiable as such”.