Dutch homeware brand Brabantia is launching new branding and packaging in a bid to reposition itself as an ‘interior design brand’.
The new identity was created by Amsterdam-based Studio Aandacht, working with fellow Dutch consultancy Agency Proud on packaging design.
Mechteld Petersen, value director for brand, marketing and product innovation at Brabantia, says the new look aims to give a “more approachable, feminine and warm” feel.
“Our aim was to soften our brand”, says Petersen. “We want to seduce our consumers with our new packaging by touching their hearts”.
Brabantia manufactures products including waste bins, laundry racks, food storage containers.
Just say that out loud: “We want to seduce our consumers with our new packaging by touching their hearts”.
Christ on a bike.
Want to hear the final ‘shamones’ of Michael Jackson on his posthumous new album? Well, it’s going to take more than an iTunes voucher, I’m afraid. If you want to get your ears on the King of Pop’s farewell creation, you’ll have to spend £600. Why? Because you can only get it if you buy the new Sony Xperia Z2 smartphone.
Yes, it’s bad. It’s bad. You know it.
This fiendish move by Sony is bound to bring all the hardcore Michael Jackson fans running wildly towards the new Xperia – which is supposed to be a good piece of kit – but it’s not very fair for anyone else wanting to hear his final work without having to invest in a new and expensive smartphone.
Will there be a release of the album for people who don’t have £600 to drop on an exclusive albumphone bundle? Who knows. One thing’s for sure – MJ has enough crazy diehard fans out there to give the forthcoming Xperia Z2 a head start in sales.
What next in the depressing world of marketing? Will we have to buy a pair of Timberlands to get the next Justin Timberlake record? A royal yacht to hear Prince? What a bleedin’ rip off.
It might be made from 4 legged chickens from hell, but the Advertising Standards Authority have rejected complaints that last year’s KFC Christmas advert ‘mocked elements of Christian worship.’
The snarky musical ad encourages people of all faiths to set aside their differences at Christmas and chow down on a grease-ridden bucket of genetically modified poultry.
The 30 Christian complainants got cross at the scene which features a group of carol singers, who trill the lines: ‘We turned up at your house again, singing all our stupid songs.’ In reply, the homeowner sings: ‘Normally I’d hose you down but now it just seems wrong.’
(STUPID CHRISTIAN SONGS! Songs about angels and the Baby Jesus – stupid?? Surely not!)
While it was a bit tongue-in-cheek, KFC maintained that they didn’t intend to mock any faith or religion, and that the homeowner was meant to be like Scrooge. As anyone with even a sliver of a sense of humour could interpret. But 30 outraged people didn’t see it that way.
Even so, it’s a triumph for common sense as the ASA found it ‘unlikely to cause serious or widespread offence.’
You know what’s actually offensive? The new KFC Triple X-tra meal, aimed at REAL MEN, and containing a whopping, artery-rupturing 1130 calories.
Everyone’s been chattering about the controversial Paddy Power ad-campaign that features odds on the Oscar Pistorius murder trial. Clearly, it is in very poor taste, but is being tasteless illegal?
Either way, increased scrutiny has ensured that the campaign will be investigated by the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA).
The ad, which you can see below, shows the head of Pistorius superimposed onto an Oscar statue and says: “It’s Oscar Time. Money back if he walks. We will refund all losing bets on the Oscar Pistorius trial if he is not found guilty.”
The ASA said they are launching the investigation after receiving 46 complaints in two days. Presumably, all the complaints focused on the fact that Paddy Power ostensibly appear to be trying to make some money out of the death of Reeva Steenkamp.
As ever, with anything vaguely topical, an online petition appeared and over 100,000 people signed it asking Paddy Power to withdraw the advert.
The petition said: ”The brutal death of a woman at the hands of her partner is not ‘sport’ or ‘entertainment’ and promoting the opportunity to make money from it is a vile and offensive act which anyone with a sense of human dignity and respect for human life must reject.”
“138 women died in the UK alone as a result of male violence in 2013. This type of random carelessness for the lives of women by Paddy Power is an affront to those women and their families.”
Meanwhile, Paddy Power’s website encouraged “savvy punters” to have a “courtroom flutter”, signing off with: “One thing’s for sure, trial verdicts don’t come much bigger than this.”
Thus far, Paddy Power are not for shifting, saying: ”We are not planning to take down our betting on the Pistorius trial verdict. We have a long history of offering odds on major global news events and the Oscar Pistorius trial is no different.”
National Geographic have done an advert of a 3D crocodile which is making people poo their pants with terror.
Of course, it is one of those optical illusions that looks rubbish from certain angles. However, when you’re going down an escalator in Brazil and it is at the optimum viewpoint, there’s a very real chance that you could do a small about of wee.
The ad, shamelessly swiped off Reddit (thanks SAT0725), is a marketing ploy for ‘Mundo Salvagem de Richard Rasmussen’ (which means, roughly, ‘are you ready for adventure in the Brazilian forests? Wild world with Richard Rasmussen’).
You have to say, as marketing goes, this is frighteningly good. Until some old person keels over and dies of a heart attack.
Adidas’ new range of crap sexist World Cup t-shirts have offended the Brazilian government, who say they portray an overtly sexualized image of Brazil and could encourage sex tourism.
The shirts – one which screams ‘I love Brazil’ but instead of a heart, there’s an arse with a thong – and one which says ‘Lookin’ To Score in Brazil’ with a stylized image of a lady in a bikini – apparently go against the country’s official marketing guidelines, which state that there should be no ‘links between national icons and images with sex appeal.’ (Which explains Pele.)
There’s already a huge problem with underage prostitution in Brazil, and the government is concerned that gangs will infiltrate World Cup host cities to provide tourists with even more underage girls. The Brazilian president, Dilma Rouseff, even went onto Twitter to say she wasn’t having any of it.
So Adidas have agreed to stop selling the limited edition shirts, which were really horrible in the first place anyway. HURRAY.
Another day, another dodgy advert that treats women like sex dolls, this time for VIP e-cigarettes. E-cig advertising is controversial anyway, without making an ad featuring a quite angry looking and aroused woman saying ‘I want to see it. Feel it, hold it. Put it in my mouth.’ HAHA, she’s talking about e-cigarettes, but it’s hilarious because you – yes, you, the saddo on the sofa with the joggies that smell of rotten vegetables – you think she’s talking about your knob!
The classy folks at VIP did a male version (for, you know, balance) with him very helpfully asking: ‘Do you want to see it? I can get it out if you’d like. You can feel it hold it, put it in your mouth and see how great it tastes.’
THEN, the piece de resistance of awfulness was the tagline – ‘if you wanna vape, then vape with VIP’. Geddit? We’re assuming ‘vape’ refers to ‘vapours’ but hey, ‘Vape’ also rhymes with RAPE. HAHA, clever, eh? Someone find that copywriter and give him (let’s hope it’s a him) a huge congratulatory kick in the balls for that one.
Anyway, there have been 1,159 completely justified complaints to the ASA due to the overtly sexualized nature of the ad, which was broadcast in the ad breaks between ‘I’m A Celebrity’ last year.
Clearcast originally cleared the ad to appear after the 9pm watershed, and said that they didn’t think it was demeaning or sexist, it was just suggestive. While the ASA haven’t banned it outright, it can only be broadcast after 11pm.
How about just throwing it in a landfill with all the e-cigarettes?
While nobody would have particularly high hopes for a strip club called ‘Beavers’, there have to be some standards, or society will just fall apart in an avalanche of G-strings, Monster energy drinks and legal highs.
So it’s lucky for the morals of our nation that the Advertising Standards Authority has stepped in to ban an advert that Beavers ran in that most prestigious of er, organs, The Watford Observer.
The ad featured a standard stripper bum with the strapline: ‘Sorry baby, the car broke down.’ Thus hinting that men were stopping off there for a dirty lapdance while the old ball and chain sat fuming at home over a baking tray full of burnt chicken dippers.
The ASA ruled that the text was ‘demeaning to women’ and was likely to cause serious and widespread offence.
The decision to make a stripper’s bum take up a third of the ad was also deemed to be ‘irreponsible’ and Beavers was warned not to use filthy pics and hideous Jim Davidson style sexist headlines in a family newspaper.
Ah, if only the ASA had to the power to tell that to The Sun…
The company is trying to win back users by personalising the overall experience, but also, by embracing ads after years of ignoring them.
In an official blog post, Mozilla said that they’ll be sell ads through a new Directory Tiles initiative. Basically, there’ll be nine rectangular tiles in a new tab. When you open a new tab in Firefox, you’ll get nine blank tiles across the page. Those will fill up with your most-visited and recently visited websites. These tiles will also show “sponsored content.”
“We are excited about Directory Tiles because it has inherent value to our users, it aligns with our vision of a better Internet through trust and transparency, and it helps Mozilla become more diversified and sustainable as a project,” said VP of content services, Darren Herman.
“While we have not worked out the entire product roadmap, we are beginning to talk to content partners about the opportunity, and plan to start showing Directory Tiles to new Firefox users as soon as we have the user experience right.”
Of course, other browsers have adverts in them, but if you’ve been sticking with Firefox because it is ad-free, then this will be irritating news.
Sony’s Walkman MP3 player is a pretty robust piece of kit, but this year, they launched a waterproof version for swimmers. In a bid to catch people’s eye, they decided to market it – confidently – submerged inside a bottle of water.
That’s a bit mental, but clearly a smart piece of advertising. Have a look at the video below. Might be useful if you want to listen to some sad trombone music in a flooded area.
BrewDog are taking the Michael out of Russia’s anti-gay business with a new beer called ‘Hello My Name is Vladimir’, just in time for the Winter Olympics.
The beer carries the sarcastic strapline of ‘not for gays’ alongside an image of Putin himself. The Scottish brewers consider this to be the first ‘protest beer’. BrewDog have also sent a case of the 8.2% IPA to the President himself.
50% of profits from the sale of Hello My Name is Vladimir will be donated to charities that represent oppressed minorities.
James Watt, BrewDog co-founder says: “We sincerely hope that when Vladimir Putin is tired from a busy day riding horses with his top off, grappling with burly men on the Judo mat or fishing in his Speedos, he reclines on a velvet chaise longue and has one of his handsome helpers wet his whistle with a glass of Hello My Name is Vladimir.”
“As Hello My Name is Vladimir is clearly marked ‘not for gays’ we should bypass the legislation introduced by Putin outlawing supposed ‘homosexual propaganda’, so Vlad shouldn’t have an issue with it. He might even invite us to ride bareback with him in the Siberian mountains.”
“It’s been our mission at BrewDog to upend the status quo in whatever form it occurs. Whether it’s the stranglehold the mega brewers have had on beer production in Europe over the last 50 years, or in the case of Russia, the sick legislation that discriminates against millions of its citizens. Our core beliefs of freedom, integrity and passion drive all our actions. Since we started in 2007, we’ve always striven to strike fear at the heart of the gatekeepers and establishment, the launch of Hello My Name is Vladimir is simply a continuation of that tradition.”
They always spoil it by talking, don’t they?
If you visit the Halifax Trade Windows website, you’ll find it is a hugely unremarkable place. However, when they run adverts, they are a lot more saucy.
As you can see below, they’re using the kind of chat and imagery you might find in a London phonebox, with risque chat about PVC and all manner of whipping and bondage stuff.
Full marks to anyone who enjoyed and spotted ‘Sod House’ as well.
[spotted by avid Bitterwallet reader, Nikki]
Energie Fitness are rather keen to get you down the gym to deal with the post-Christmas bloat and avid Bitterwallet fanboy, Stu Heritage of Luv&Hat, got a text from them with an offer so good, you can barely see it.
He said “Join before 31/1/2014 and pay nothing until 1/2/2014’. The next day. Attaboy, marketing team of a gym I’VE ALREADY JOINED.”
Yes, it wasn’t just you who had pizza for Christmas dinner – it seems that quite a few of us had Dominos on speed dial during the festive period. The pizza gods have announced that Christmas like for like sales were up by 10% and overall sales for 2013 increased by 15.6% to £170.4m. That’s a LOT of dough balls.
Dominos, whose suspiciously moreish pizzas taste like rain soaked wedges of cheese cardboard, have put it down to online sales and their new lame ass ‘Americana’ ad campaign, which uses the theme tune to Champion the Wonder Horse.
In fact, before the ad campaign, Dominos was in the domindoldrums, after senior executive Lance Batchelor announced he would be leaving – the second big cheese to hand in his notice in six months. Their share price fell by 10% in December, but thanks to the brand update and the highly tempting Winter Survival Deal, it’s riding high.
Ok, so their food makes you feel greasy, morally bankrupt (Dominos are notorious for their right wing and anti-abortion stance) and spiritually unfulfilled – but sod it – we can’t be arsed to cook.