Ryanair’s new ad campaign

April 10th, 2014 1 Comment By Ian Wade

Ryanair have launched a new advertising campaign and it’s their first pan-European campaign.

The airline has had its fair share, perhaps quite a few people’s fair shares, of controversy in the past, and these ads are hoped to soften their reputation slightly.

You’d think it’d look like this.

Regrettably, they don’t. If you’re dying to see them, the ads will roll out from Friday 11 April in the UK, Ireland, Italy and Spain and, if you want to see it, hop on over to here to see them for yourself.

We await all the hilarious spoofs from the wise-crackers having a pop! *sticks head in oven*

Wonga ad banned for glossing over 5,853% APR

April 9th, 2014 No Comments By Lucy Sweet

Wonga is in hot water again, this time for an ad that claimed that their flabberghastingly high APR of 5853% wasn’t really that important and you should just forget about it – la la la.

wonga ladies 300x282 Wonga ad banned for glossing over 5,853% APR

The rubbery puppets of doom are shown ‘simplifying’ the terms of Wonga loans, thus: ‘Right, we’re going to explain the costs of a Wonga short-term loan. Some people think they will pay thousands of per cent of interest. They won’t of course – that’s just the way annual rates are calculated. Say you borrowed £150 for 18 days, it would cost you £33.49.’

BUT, 31 people complained to the ASA, saying that they were misleading customers with a confusing message which encouraged them to disregard their insane interest rates.

Wonga said that they were only trying to give a transparent example of a typical Wonga loan but they regretted confusing customers.

However, the ASA said they understood that APR did not apply for the time period for a short term loan, but banned it anyway, because it irresponsibly encouraged people to take out loans without considering the APR. They said:

‘We considered that, though it attempted to clarify the costs associated with a Wonga loan, the ad created confusion as to the rates that would apply. On that basis, we concluded that the ad was misleading.’

Maybe if Wonga are looking for an example of a representative loan, they could show the puppets struggling to make ends meet and turning to rubbery prostitution to pay it back?

Commercial Break: Half brand half biscuit

April 4th, 2014 1 Comment By Ian Wade

zzzgs Commercial Break: Half brand half biscuitSavoury snack news now, as Jacob’s is having a brand relaunch.

United Biscuits, the company behind Jacob’s, is bringing all the treats such as Mini Cheddars and Twiglets under the Jacob’s ‘masterbrand’, and updated packaging will feature the name Jacob’s more prominently.

This follows UB’s relaunch in February, which saw all their sweet biscuits such as Penguins and Jaffa Cakes (see? They call them BISCUITS. Not cakes.) brought in under the McVitie’s brand.

UB says the move is part of the same ‘business vision’ that saw the £12 million relaunch of its McVitie’s biscuit brand in February.

In a quote that says everything and nothing about the modern marketing experience, Martin Glenn, chief executive of UB, says,

“[This project] will improve and simplify the shopping experience for customers, putting all our savoury brands clearly under the same premium masterbrand.”

There’s also a new ad campaign featuring a tiny ‘Jacob The Baker’ character bringing jolly snack joy, so you can now #snackhappy!

Or run into traffic. The choice is yours.

We all know that alcohol creates a very specific kind of self confidence. The kind of self confidence that makes you pull your pants down, draw two ‘W’s on your butt cheeks, and flash your bumhole to people on a motorway bridge.

WKD Blue WKD ads banned on Facebook for promoting fun effects of alcohol

But the ASA has banned WKD’s Facebook ads for linking alcohol with self confidence with their so called ‘Wicked 8-ball predictions’ – which stated ‘You will refuse to do karaoke- at first.’ In their ‘About’ section they also said: ‘Where there’s good times, there’s WKD. We’re all about getting together with the best people and enjoying yourself – especially at the weekend. Like us and get involved.’

The Young Alcohol Council are angry that the company behind the disgusting blue elixir implied that alcohol is capable of altering mood and that the presence of booze was the key to having a good time with your friends. (Which of course, it is – they’re always a bunch of boring bastards when they’re sober).

Beverage Brands UK Ltd., who own WKD, said they hadn’t breached Facebook’s guidelines, but that it would remove certain posts. The ASA acknowleged that no alcohol was shown being consumed, but that their mascot – an idiot in a hat called ‘Head of WKD Weekends’ – implied that a successful weekend could only be achieved with the addition of WKD.

Of course, we all know that’s not true. It can only be achieved with the addition of beer, vodka and a nice crisp white wine. Oh, and drugs.

Sky goes blu

March 28th, 2014 No Comments By Ian Wade

zxzxzx4 262x300 Sky goes bluElectronic cigarette company Skycig is rebranding as Blu eCigs.

The company, which is the UK’s leading electronic fag manufacturer, will change in May after it was bought by US company Lorillard – owners of the US brand Blu eCigs.

The rebrand also sees Skycig spending £20 million on marketing to transform its positioning, and will have a strong focus on ‘lifestyle’, which, by the looks of things, means making a logo that looks like someone tried to have a stab at the Blur symbol and got bored before they could finish.

The UK blu eCigs product line will essentially be the same as the current Skycig range, however, they’ll now have rechargeable kits and disposable e-cigarettes.

Jacob Fuller, CEO & Founder, Skycig sez, “As the brand blu we will stand for pride, bringing e-cigarette users back into the social fold in a society where smokers have been marginalised for a long time. ”

It shows a glimpse into an industry that no one can seem to agree on, with some pubs banning them, and the government undecided on whether they should be a medical thing (which would require proper testing and put the price up) or not. Also, companies have started advertising on television – something traditional cigarette brands have been unable to do for years.

Some people see e-cigs as a good way of cutting down or quitting the real smokes, and others hate them so much that they’d actively rather die of a smoking related disease than be seen with a robot cigarette. Either way, this rebranding shows that e-cigs are only going to be more in your face in 2014.

Cupcake dispensing ATMs, everyone

March 28th, 2014 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

People who occasionally eat cupcakes are fine, but those cupcake fetishists are the scourge of the Earth. There is no-one more irritating than someone who dribbles on about cupcakes. These people probably share nothing but cat photos online and have a Pinterest dedicated solely to their wedding, which will never happen.

These wretched swine in polka dots who go to swing classes and have Nyan Cat wallpapers on their phones, are ruining it for everyone.

And now, over in New York, there’s a bloody ATM that dispenses cupcakes for those of you who are unable to walk into a shop and buy some.

This CakeTM is something to do with Sprinkles Bakery in NYC and when this thing appeared on the street, it “remained at a consistent 12-15 customers deep throughout the entire day as customers waited to punch in their orders on a touchscreen and watch a mechanical arm snag their delicious dessert treats,” according to a report.

Bring back national service.

Vimto gets a rebrand with a toad

March 26th, 2014 3 Comments By Ian Wade

Vimto is being relaunched with a toad.

The drinks brand has new-look packaging, and has introduced ‘Vimtoad’, a novelty Northern-style mouthpiece created by Aardman Animations.

ZXZZZZX4 333x500 Vimto gets a rebrand with a toad

While no evidence exists of toads liking Vimto – although we’re aware that crows find Kia-Ora ‘too orangey’ thanks to being citrus intolerant – this will, the company hopes, boost sales as well as helping expand a No Added Sugar range for the healthier set.

Which is a bit strange, as Vimto was originally as a ‘health tonic’ back in 1908. Great days.

Vimto brand manager Clare Brown says, “Vimtoad and our new packaging will continue to appeal to our young consumers while also attracting a wider audience”.

The name is still an anagram of ‘vomit’ though.

cow 224x300 Shock as Tesco use beef cows instead of milk cows on packaging!Cow enthusiasts have been going mental at Tesco because they were using beef cows on their milk packaging. Instead of shrugging and rightly assuming that 99.9% of people couldn’t give the vaguest crap about cow types, they have instead, scrapped a national advertising campaign.

The posters, which you may have seen knocking about, were designed to highlight Tesco’s moves in the Milk Wars, where they dropped the price of four-pints of milk to a quid. On these promotional posters, one could see cattle that were used exclusively for meat.

A spokesman for Tesco said the adverts were being replaced and didn’t divulge how much this would actually cost the supermarket [insert joke about 'moo-lah' here].

It seems the only people who cared enough to complain were farmers. They know that a Hereford cross cow is better for burgers than brews. Farmer Richard Yates, who has a herd of 100 Friesian cows told the Shropshire Star that Tesco were using cows that “would never have been milked in their lives”. ”That shows how out of touch they are and what they think of dairy farmers.”

A Tesco spokesman said: “As soon as we spotted this mistake we organised for new pictures to be used, which customers can expect to see in their local store very soon.”

Holy cow! etc

The Advertising Standards Authority have stood by their decision to nix the controversial Paddy Power advert which featured Oscar Pistorius.

The ASA said that the ad had received a record breaking amount of complaints, thereby making it “the most complained about ad of all time.”

If you missed the advert, it showed Pistorius as an Academy Award-statuette with the words; “It’s Oscar time. Money back if he walks”.

pistoriusad 327x500 Paddy Power advert the most complained about ad of all time

Basically, the ad caused a kerfuffle for two reasons: Firstly, it makes fun of the athlete’s disability and, of course, more pertinent is the small matter of mocking a case where a woman got murdered.

While the ad was on the receiving end of an unprecedented amount of complaints, Paddy Power refused to budge, defending it saying that their “savvy punters” would want to have a “courtroom flutter”, and that they weren’t “planning to take down our betting on the Pistorius trial verdict. We have a long history of offering odds on major global news events and the Oscar Pistorius trial is no different.”

Fancy bin company wants to seduce you

March 10th, 2014 No Comments By Ian Wade

Dutch homeware brand Brabantia is launching new branding and packaging in a bid to reposition itself as an ‘interior design brand’.

The new identity was created by Amsterdam-based Studio Aandacht, working with fellow Dutch consultancy Agency Proud on packaging design.

Mechteld Petersen, value director for brand, marketing and product innovation at Brabantia, says the new look aims to give a “more approachable, feminine and warm” feel.

 Fancy bin company wants to seduce you

“Our aim was to soften our brand”, says Petersen. “We want to seduce our consumers with our new packaging by touching their hearts”.

Brabantia manufactures products including waste bins, laundry racks, food storage containers.

Just say that out loud: “We want to seduce our consumers with our new packaging by touching their hearts”.

Christ on a bike.

Want to hear the final ‘shamones’ of Michael Jackson on his posthumous new album? Well, it’s going to take more than an iTunes voucher, I’m afraid. If you want to get your ears on the King of Pop’s farewell creation, you’ll have to spend £600. Why? Because you can only get it if you buy the new Sony Xperia Z2 smartphone.

michael jackson1 Michael Jackson’s final album – yours for just £600

Yes, it’s bad. It’s bad. You know it.

This fiendish move by Sony is bound to bring all the hardcore Michael Jackson fans running wildly towards the new Xperia – which is supposed to be a good piece of kit – but it’s not very fair for anyone else wanting to hear his final work without having to invest in a new and expensive smartphone.

Will there be a release of the album for people who don’t have £600 to drop on an exclusive albumphone bundle? Who knows. One thing’s for sure – MJ has enough crazy diehard fans out there to give the forthcoming Xperia Z2 a head start in sales.

What next in the depressing world of marketing? Will we have to buy a pair of Timberlands to get the next Justin Timberlake record? A royal yacht to hear Prince? What a bleedin’ rip off.

It might be made from 4 legged chickens from hell, but the Advertising Standards Authority have rejected complaints that last year’s KFC Christmas advert ‘mocked elements of Christian worship.’

The snarky musical ad encourages people of all faiths to set aside their differences at Christmas and chow down on a grease-ridden bucket of genetically modified poultry.

The 30 Christian complainants got cross at the scene which features a group of carol singers, who trill the lines: ‘We turned up at your house again, singing all our stupid songs.’ In reply, the homeowner sings: ‘Normally I’d hose you down but now it just seems wrong.’

(STUPID CHRISTIAN SONGS! Songs about angels and the Baby Jesus – stupid?? Surely not!)

While it was a bit tongue-in-cheek, KFC maintained that they didn’t intend to mock any faith or religion, and that the homeowner was meant to be like Scrooge. As anyone with even a sliver of a sense of humour could interpret. But 30 outraged people didn’t see it that way.

Even so, it’s a triumph for common sense as the ASA found it ‘unlikely to cause serious or widespread offence.’

You know what’s actually offensive? The new KFC Triple X-tra meal, aimed at REAL MEN, and containing a whopping, artery-rupturing 1130 calories.


Everyone’s been chattering about the controversial Paddy Power ad-campaign that features odds on the Oscar Pistorius murder trial. Clearly, it is in very poor taste, but is being tasteless illegal?

Either way, increased scrutiny has ensured that the campaign will be investigated by the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA).

The ad, which you can see below, shows the head of Pistorius superimposed onto an Oscar statue and says: “It’s Oscar Time. Money back if he walks. We will refund all losing bets on the Oscar Pistorius trial if he is not found guilty.”

pistpaddy 333x500 Paddy Powers Oscar Pistorius ad to be investigated

The ASA said they are launching the investigation after receiving 46 complaints in two days. Presumably, all the complaints focused on the fact that Paddy Power ostensibly appear to be trying to make some money out of the death of Reeva Steenkamp.

As ever, with anything vaguely topical, an online petition appeared and over 100,000 people signed it asking Paddy Power to withdraw the advert.

The petition said: ”The brutal death of a woman at the hands of her partner is not ‘sport’ or ‘entertainment’ and promoting the opportunity to make money from it is a vile and offensive act which anyone with a sense of human dignity and respect for human life must reject.”

“138 women died in the UK alone as a result of male violence in 2013. This type of random carelessness for the lives of women by Paddy Power is an affront to those women and their families.”

Meanwhile, Paddy Power’s website encouraged “savvy punters” to have a “courtroom flutter”, signing off with: “One thing’s for sure, trial verdicts don’t come much bigger than this.”

Thus far, Paddy Power are not for shifting, saying: ”We are not planning to take down our betting on the Pistorius trial verdict. We have a long history of offering odds on major global news events and the Oscar Pistorius trial is no different.”

Crocodile marketing scares everyone witless

March 3rd, 2014 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

National Geographic have done an advert of a 3D crocodile which is making people poo their pants with terror.

Of course, it is one of those optical illusions that looks rubbish from certain angles. However, when you’re going down an escalator in Brazil and it is at the optimum viewpoint, there’s a very real chance that you could do a small about of wee.

crocodile 322x500 Crocodile marketing scares everyone witless

The ad, shamelessly swiped off Reddit (thanks SAT0725), is a marketing ploy for ‘Mundo Salvagem de Richard Rasmussen’ (which means, roughly, ‘are you ready for adventure in the Brazilian forests? Wild world with Richard Rasmussen’).

You have to say, as marketing goes, this is frighteningly good. Until some old person keels over and dies of a heart attack.

Brazil asks Adidas to withdraw terrible sex tees

February 26th, 2014 No Comments By Lucy Sweet

Adidas’ new range of crap sexist World Cup t-shirts have offended the Brazilian government, who say they portray an overtly sexualized image of Brazil and could encourage sex tourism.

adidas tee Brazil asks Adidas to withdraw terrible sex tees

The shirts – one which screams ‘I love Brazil’ but instead of a heart, there’s an arse with a thong – and one which says ‘Lookin’ To Score in Brazil’ with a stylized image of a lady in a bikini – apparently go against the country’s official marketing guidelines, which state that there should be no ‘links between national icons and images with sex appeal.’ (Which explains Pele.)

There’s already a huge problem with underage prostitution in Brazil, and the government is concerned that gangs will infiltrate World Cup host cities to provide tourists with even more underage girls. The Brazilian president, Dilma Rouseff, even went onto Twitter to say she wasn’t having any of it.

So Adidas have agreed to stop selling the limited edition shirts, which were really horrible in the first place anyway. HURRAY.