The average Briton is now watching more drivel on telly, despite the fact that we own less actual televisions than we did a few years ago.
According to the TV Licensing Study, we used to watch 3 hours 26 minutes of TV as day in 2006, but now we watch over 4 hours. Sales of TVs, however, have fallen from 2.3m to 1.8m.
Obviously this is to do with changing habits, ie – taking to your bed at 7.30 with a laptop/ipad and gorging on Breaking Bad and then having dreams about licking crystal meth off Jesse Pinkman and waking up in a sea of toast crumbs and sweat. Or whatever YOU like doing.
Gone is the era of the family gathering around the goggle box as an excuse not to talk to each other. Now, we take our viewing where and when we can get it, using a mixture of live TV, catch-up services and streamed online content.
The survey also turned up some vaguely baffling nuggets about what we like to watch. Although the UK loves comedy, we spend most of our time watching drama and news. People in the North East watch the most music videos, people in the West Midlands watch nearly 6 hours of educational TV a week, and old people love the shit out of cBeebies.
So are massive TVs in the living room on their way out, soon to be replaced by laptops and tablets attached to headboards and sofa armrests?
The geniuses at Google still think looking like Rick Moranis and mumbling commands to yourself is the height of cool. Their frankly deranged Google Glass project is gathering pace, and it’s possible that soon we’ll all be having animated discussions while wearing the worst bins since Deirdre Barlow.
Google first started talking about their ‘smart’ glasses – which respond to voice commands and allow you to take pictures, Skype and watch video – last year, when they unveiled them to a select group of developers. Now they’re asking assorted impressionable Twitterers for feedback.
“We’re looking for bold, creative individuals who want to join us and be a part of shaping the future of Glass,” Google said. (Translation: ‘Please help us. We need to hear from speccy idiots who don’t mind getting their faces punched in’).
Sergey Brin, the brave and foolish Google co-founder, was recently spotted on the New York subway testing the glasses.
Onlooker Paul Simon, 71, said: ‘Be careful, his glasses are really a camera. What an asshole.’
It’s been mooted for a while now, and sing Hosannas, because it’s finally happening. Yes, it’s the 128GB iPad!
Presumably it’s aimed at people who have been addicted to tablets for a few years now and are looking for more storage for their mighty app collection. Either that or Apple have just looked at the fact that there isn’t a 128GB iPad yet, figured that there might be some money to make out of such a notion, and bunged one out in the hope it’ll be a hit.
But at £639 for a wi-fi version and £739 for a cellular data one, you’ll probably either have more money than sense or be ripe for sectioning if you buy one.
For the past few months, users of Apple devices have been falling in ditches, stumbling off the summit of rooftop car parks and becoming stranded in desolate fields, all thanks to the new mapping app that appeared in the most recent iOS update, replacing the sturdy, reliable Google one.
Keen travellers have been up in arms about it all ever since it happened but now everything is going to be okay again, as Google Maps has been cleared by Apple and is now available in the App Store for free.
Head Apple honcho Tim Cook apologised profusely when the Apple Maps service was found to be full of glitches and psychedelic imagery where locations should have been, and it seems that Apple have decided that they’d rather swallow their pride and let Google back into their phones rather than face further criticism.
We expect that Apple will now quietly set about making their own maps work properly and relaunch at some point rather than concede defeat to the Googlers.
In case you’re wondering where the coolest men in the world are, we’re delighted to tell you that they’re mooching about in the artificial light of a Walmart stockroom in Pikeville, Kentucky. Yes, PIKEVILLE.
But what makes them the coolest men alive? Why it’s this video, in which they brazenly hurl some iPads around, while sneering at their vile actions. Still, at least we know where they are – they look the type who would be pulling the legs off kittens if they weren’t chucking gadgetry around for minimum wage.
Oh no, they’ve probably all been sacked now.
It looks as though we can expect to see fewer of those irritating Apple launch events from now on. That’s because the Cupertino-based gadget pushers have finally cottoned on to the fact that people buy loads of stuff at Christmas and have pumped out a range of new and upgraded stuff in one blast last night.
Top of the list was the iPad Mini, which is smaller than your standard iPad but not quite as good, what with it not having the Retina display. Also, it’ll have 4G capabilities, but only with EE’s 4G and not the 4G that will come later from the other providers.
Also, it has the new Lightnight connector that was unveiled on the iPhone 5 a month or so ago. Pricing starts at £269 for the 16GB version, and with increasing numbers of Google’s Nexus 7 knocking around for about £100 less, it’s all fairly underwhelming.
But wait! There’s more! Did you buy the new iPad 3 when it was launched earlier in the year? Well now it’s OBSOLETE! Yes, there’s an iPad 4 coming, with a twice-as-fast processor and not much else that’s new. Oh, apart from the Lightning connector. You can’t escape the Lightning connector. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FIGHTING THE LIGHTNING CONNECTOR.
Woah! There’s even more! The 13” MacBook Pro will now come with Retina display (it was previously only available in the 15” model) along with some other minor spec-tinkering. The iMac has been made even slinkier and sexier – yet somehow it’s still got a computer inside it. Then there’s the Mac Mini – that’s also been boosted with the inclusion of an Intel Ivy Bridge processor and some other upgrading as well.
So will this be the shape of things to come from now on? Fewer launches throughout the year with a bumper crop of new goodies ahead of the Christmas spend-spurt? Very possibly.
What about you, dear readers? Does any of this new Apple kit float your boat? Or is Apple just another tech company now, with Google and Samsung catching up with stuff that is just as good while being considerably cheaper? Tell us what you think about things. We need to know!
Here’s some ‘interesting’ information about how the iPad Mini was created…
The iPad Mini is about to be released, and we’re bored with it before we’ve even seen one. So here’s the Taiwanese NMA take on it all, with Star Wars references and that…
Amazon have had a bit of a rethink after announcing last week that their all-new Kindle Fire tablet would come with adverts incorporated into its display. There was some mile outrage from potential customers who would rather fry and eat their own eyeballs than look at (and presumably ignore) the occasion commercial message.
This sentence is brought to you in association with Texan bars.
Anyway, following the light rage displayed following the Fire’s launch, Amazon has said that a non-ad version of their new dream machine will be released as well. Naturally, this will cost more than the other version, $15 more to be precise.
This sentence is brought to you in association with Pacers.
With $15 working out at about a tenner, it begs the question, would you pay £10 extra not to see intrusive adverts for defunct confectionery brands everywhere you look? Answer the question in the comments box below – it’s important.
It looks as if the new iPhone is about to be launched and, as they did earlier in the year, Aatma Studios are ahead of the game, predicting the new features that we might see next week, ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous…
Amazon have been showing off some fancy new gadgetry, with an updated Kindle Fire seeing their tablet device coming to the UK for the first time.
As of 25th October, there’ll be a 7” version of the Fire available for £159 for 16GB and £199 for 32GB. Amazon say that it’s “the most advanced 7” tablet”, a clear poke in the ribs at Google and their 7” Nexus tablet.
There’ll also be a 8.9” version of the Fire, which will be available in the US from November, with 4G connectivity, although there’s no confirmation of a UK release date as yet. However, a souped-up version of the original Kindle Fire, which has never had a UK release, could be yours for £129 from the October launch date.
Among its many charms, the Kindle Fire HD has what Amazon claims is the fastest wi-fi available on a tablet, an impressive 11-hour battery life and a front-facing camera.
If you’re wondering how they can sell it so cheap, the Fire will be subsidised by adverts that will appear on its lock screen. Tolerable? Probably, if a little bit unpleasant.
As well as all of that, Amazon also unveiled a new version of the Kindle e-reader, called the Paperwhite, which can be used in the dark. BUT, we’re not getting any of those in the UK yet – you’ll have to make do with an updated version of the ordinary 6” Kindle for now.
If you’re desperate for an e-reader that can be used in the dark, Kobo have launched such a thing, making it front-lit, calling it the Glo and punting it out for £99.99. They’ve also unveiled the Kobo Mini, which is a titchy, teeny five inches and is only £59.99 (but you can’t read it in the dark). They’ll both be on sale from 1st October.
If THAT wasn’t enough, there’s also a Kobo tablet coming. Named the Arc, it’s a 7-inch, Android 4.0 object that comes with 8GB form (for £159.99) or 16GB (for £189.99). The Arc will be released in November.
Phew! That enough for you?
Chinese future-loving company Haier have teamed up with the Swedish geniuses at Tobii and brought us the eye-controlled television, superb news for the nation’s bone idle slob population.
But how doth it work? Well, the sofa-users controlling the set by gazing at the top or bottom of the screen to activate a user interface, before staring at all the usual options that they would ordinarily get on a standard, boring, now-outmoded remote control. Best of all, unlike the humble remote, the chances of losing your own eyes down the back of the sofa are slim at best/worst/whatever.
The technology is still at the prototype stage and is prone to glitches so we’re predicting that it’ll be available in your local branch of Curry’s sometime in 2030, costing somewhere between £4,999 and £9,999. Or whatever weird currency we’re all trading in by then.
Want some slightly whelming Amazon news? Well you’ve come to the right place folks! First up comes the announcement that the Amazon Appstore has arrived in Europe, filled with loads of Android goodies. Well, it’s in some of Europe – namely the UK, Germany, France, Italy and Spain.
As it contains mainly the same sort of stuff that is in the Google Play store, it isn’t available there – to download it you’ll need to enable the installation of apps from ‘unknown sources’ on your phone or tablet, and then download it from the Amazon Appstore website. Prepare to be whelmed.
There’s rumours that its arrival could herald the coming of the Amazon Kindle Fire tablet, which STILL hasn’t shown up here in the UK. There’s an Amazon media event scheduled for September and word is that we could be getting the all-new Kindle Fire 2.
There’s also word of a new Kindle e-reader in the offing, with a picture here and everything, courtesy of The Verge.
Is THIS the new Kindle Touch? Behold the front-lit display, the new Paperwhite e-ink and fancy talk of “higher contrast, high resolution, integrated lighting, and eight weeks of battery life”. Oooh, beautiful.
Samsung have released the Galaxy Beam this week, which is very exciting because this new Android handset comes with a built-in projector! Picture that! A phone with a projector! You could project your self-shot videos onto your friend’s faces as they sleep! You could project dirty pictures onto a vicar’s chest during a funeral!
Anyway, this Samsung Galaxy Beam has a 1GHz dual-core processor and runs Android 2.3 Gingerbread with a 4in, 480 x 800 display and the fabulous 720p projector.
According to reports, this phone will be available on T-Mobile and Orange at Carphone Warehouse for free on £31 monthly contracts. Elsewhere, Samsung’s enemy, Apple, is readying the new iPhone to hit the shelves on the 21st September with a 12th September unveiling. This will be followed up by the unveiling of 34,918 lawsuits against absolutely anyone they can find.
A variety of leaks suggest that Apple’s next mobile will be taller with a 16:9 display and a smaller connector dock, the latter, irritating loads of people. There’s also still loads of rumours about a new iPod nano and iPad mini.
The Samsung Galaxy Tab is NOT as cool as the Apple iPad – and Samsung are quite happy about it.
That weird conclusion has been reached by a high court judge and it means that Apple can not stop the sale or import of the Galaxy Tab 10, after they claimed that the designs were too similar to their lovely iPad.
Judge Birss said they were not similar enough, ruling that the Galaxy 10 is “not as cool”. Yes, those were his exact words. He also scoffed at some other alleged differences relating to the thickness of the devices and the details on the backs of them, but we don’t think there was any finger-snapping and be-bop jazz playing in the background at the time.
There it is Galaxy owners – your device is NOT AS COOL AS AN IPAD. Okay??
It’s called the Nexus 7, has been bunged together with some bits and bobs provided by Asus and is coming to the shops VERY SOON. Best of all, it’s way cheaper than the iPad or Galaxy Tab. Mind you at only seven inches, it’s smaller.
It’ll be the first tablet computer to run Google’s new Jelly Bean Android software and it comes with a 1.2Mp camera built into it. The 8GB version will cost £169 while the 16GB version will be priced at £209.
The Nexus 7 will steal a march on Microsoft’s Surface tablet, which has been shown off but is yet to have a release date or pricing announced for it. Will YOU be buying one??