Yes, anyone who takes out a mortgage with Sberbank (which if you say in a certain way, sounds a bit like ‘spermbank’, arf!) gets the choice of ten pussies.
The bank showcases the felines on the website, and once selected, they’re delivered to the home.
Unfortunately, the cats must be returned to Sberbank after a few hours once they’ve mooched around the new property and no doubt took a leak on the sofa and dragged half a raven into the kitchen ‘as a gift’.
A popular Russian superstition maintains that it is good luck if cats are first to enter a new home.
Wonders never cease.
A load of young women (why they had to women, but hey – patriachy) ran down the street dressed in red morph suits, brandishing Jet2 tickets.
The stunt was to celebrate five years of flying from East Midlands Airport.
Whereas the same stunt had gone relatively smoothly in Nottingham and Leicester, Derby saw reports of people tackling some of the promotional morphs to the ground, and general mayhem.
Comments on the Jet2.com Facebook page suggested the event turned a bit mob-like.
Jet2 said in a statement: ”We had three events across the East Midlands yesterday and while Leicester and Nottingham went smoothly, the giveaway in Derby generated a little more excitement than anticipated.”
“Whilst one or two of our team were a bit shaken, we took care to make sure everyone was OK.”
‘A little more excitement’ indeed.
Here’s some people on Facebook talking about what happened, with one person saying that the whole thing turned into a bit of a “Fight Club”. Helps pass the time doesn’t it?
Flappy Bird lovers unite, for the creator has announced a new game which will entertain you in a way that is so frustrating that you might chew your own hands off!
The brilliantly named Flappy Bird creator Dong Nguyen has come up with a new time-wasting bit of addictive nonsense in the form of Swing Copters.
The scrolling game demands its players to tap to make a character, handily wearing a propeller hat, fly from side to side, while avoiding troublesome platforms and hammers.
It’s out on August 21st as a free download, and there’ll be the option for players to pay 69p via an in-app thing which lays off the adverts.
Poor old Dong got it right in the neck when he took Flappy Birds down in February, after he was a bit concerned at how huge it had become.
Online critics gave heavy shade, and even – you big people – death threats were being thrown at him. He did however remain unkilled long enough to launch Flappy Birds Family on Amazon’s set-top box thing.
So anyway. Put down those weapons and rejoice again!
That’s right, you can get a Summer of ad-free groovin’ for almost next to nothing. You have until June 15th to take advantage of upgrading your account to Premium as part of Spotify’s first Super Summer of Music promotion thing.
As part of Spotify’s first-ever Super Summer of Music promotion, users pay £9.99 for the first month – Spotify Premium’s regular price – and the next two months are free.
That’s right. FREE.
The streaming service hit 10 million premium subscribers in May and has 40 million active listeners. If you sign up, you’ll be making 9 hour playlists dedicated to Balearic, sharing it on a social network and then arguing with your mates about ‘what defines Balearic anyway?’
Just let’s not ask any acts about royalties though eh?
Good old Aldi. Not only are we all fans of their low prices (and the best supermarket ads on telly), they are now seeking to win the hearts of many more by seeking official wine tasters on Twitter.
The ten “aspiring wine connoisseurs” will receive two free bottles of wine, plus tasting notes, each month, and in return need to produce a measly 140 character review. And drink the wine, of course. Potential applicants have until June 2 to apply with a 150 word spiel and their Twitter name.
And if wine isn’t your bag, drinks retailer Oddbins are also out for public input. Oddbins already run an annual wine taster search and now, we kid you not, they are looking for beer testers. Consumers over the age of 18 who think they could possibly put themselves through the hardship of drinking beer on Oddbins’ behalf can apply for the role, which will go towards the decision making process of deciding choosing which UK ales to stock.
By tweeting @Oddbins and including #OddbinsBeer, you don’t have many characters left to convince the company why you are the best beer-swiller for the job, but if you’re interested, you have until the end of May to come up with something short and snappy. The role is unpaid, but the chosen candidate will receive monthly deliveries of cases of craft ales in exchange for their guidance in the beer-picking process.
Ayo Akintola, managing director of Oddbins, said: “We are committed to placing our customers at the heart of our business model and recruiting a customer beer taster is consistent with that philosophy.”
While these are just two examples of businesses seeking customer engagement, it does show a growing trend towards using customers, in more than one sense of the word, and how this can be mutually beneficial. Even if you aren’t successful in becoming the Aldi wine taster, next time you buy wine, you know Aldi has wine tasters, which might make you more inclined to buy Aldi wine. And for the cost of a monthly case of beer, Oddbins generates publicity worth many times that amount, and even gets a mention on consumer sites whose readers might appreciate the opportunity to drink free beer…
McDonald’s marketing team are forever coming up with ideas that annoy people who like to slag them off. Unhealthy? We sell loads of salad, dufus. Too much salt? We have removed more salt from food than anyone else, ever! We’re bad people? Have you seen how much money we give to charities and hospitals? Making people fat? We don’t patronise our customers and we let them choose to eat what they want! The photos on our menus look different from what you buy? Here’s why.
They’re so sly they should be applauded.
And now, they’re about to become the biggest book distributor in the UK by replacing Happy Meal toys with books.
That’s right – McDonald’s have just launched a new Happy Meal promotion with Kobo, the e-reader and e-book company. Until June 17th, McDonald’s will be offering a code for a free e-book and, on top of that, you’ll get an additional voucher on the side of a Happy Meal box for a £1 print book or e-book series.
Your child (or you, if you’re an adult who likes Happy Meals) will be able to get books by Enid Blyton from the Secret Seven and The Famous Five series. Maccies will sell around 15 million Happy Meals in the UK during the time of the promotion, which will make them the biggest children’s book distributor in the country this year.
And the moaning hippies? What have they done to help 15 million kids to read? Squat.
There is a slight drawback – this giveaway requires you to have a smart phone or an e-reader, which some parents will be irked at. However, this is another smart move for McDonald’s as they build up ammo to throw back at detractors.
Waitrose – the lifestyle section of a Sunday supplement of the supermarkets – has had an offer with their loyalty cards which doles out free hot soup to customers, which is nice isn’t it? Not so if you’re a Waitrose regular, as a number of them are worried that the deal is bringing in the wrong type of clientele.
Basically, if you have a myWaitrose card, you can claim some soup without needing to buy anything.
Over on Facebook, customers are crying onto their gilets.
“Please don’t turn into a “soup kitchen” handing out free drinks,’ wrote Waitrose shopper and braying ninny, Penny Clayden on Facebook, adding: “I think seeing people walking round the store holding on to takeaway cups of tea and coffee looks quite ridiculous and brings down the image of Waitrose until it is just like everywhere else – in which case I might as well shop anywhere else.”
On Twitter, Carl Barron said: “Perhaps should Waitrose ensure only those who show today’s receipts for good get free drinks.”
John Thompson, a business consultant from Hertfordshire tweeted: “Bit disconcerting seeing people carrying cups of hot coffee around Waitrose whilst they text and push trolleys with their bellies.”
This comes on the back of a story where Waitrose airbrushed someone’s tattoos out of a photo and of course, last year, they tried to do a social engagement campaign where they asked you to finish the sentence ‘I shop at Waitrose because…’, which saw replies like “…I don’t like being surrounded by poor people’ and “because Tesco doesn’t stock unicorn food.”
Waitrose have pooh-poohed the complaints and stated that the myWaitrose card rewarded loyal customers and the majority of people that used it for a free hot drinks also shopped there.
Everyone should, of course, get down to Waitrose, get a loyalty card and annoy all the Hooray Henry’s that shop there.
Yoghurts! Pencils! Flea combs! Just some of the things that you could be getting your hands on for NOTHING if you visit the Freebies section of HotUKDeals right now.
Newbies should also be aware that it’s a great place for sourcing free tickets for preview screenings at cinemas across the country as well. Never say we don’t give you anything here…
FREE YOGHURT: Strawberry or blueberry Liberte Greek youghurt. All you need to do is some Facebook stuff and you’ll get a coupon.
FREE FLEA COMB: Yes, you read that right. FREE FLEA COMB.
FREE FACE PRIMER: From the Clinique people. Use this to either prime your own face or the face of a friend. Please use only for good, rather than evil purposes.
FREE KINDLE BOOK: The Diary Of A Hapless Father (months 0-3) to be precise. This sounds like fun, assuming that the kid survives.
FREE COLOURING PENCILS: You could draw and colour in a nice picture with these while your face primer is drying. Or whatever it does.
FREE £10 GIFT CARD: For Mamas & Papas. Perfect if you’re planning to become a hapless father to a 0-3 month baby. See how these deals are all intertwined? Beautiful.
(freebies found by avid HotUKDeals members marv101, mamaoftwo, marba01, Bookworm_Shilly, VincentM and dealfella)
FREE POPCORN: Available from Cineworld picture houses. You might not even need to pay to see a film in order to qualify!
FREE BIRTHDAY STUFF: A round-up of some of the marvellous stuff you can cop for, and all for nothing if it’s your special day.
FREE STAR WARS PINBALL: Available for nowt right now on your iOS devices – what could be greater than a combo of Star Wars and pinball? The answer, of course, is ‘nothing’.
FREE WINDOWS GAMES: 20 of them to be precise, all of them indie games (so quality may vary) but all of them gratis.
FREE JOKES: 2,700 of them, in a Kindle edition, but all for kids (so quality may vary).
FREE DICTIONARY: An actual hard copy (none of your Kindle nonsense) – all the words, helpfully arranged in alphabetical order for you.
(freebies found by avid HotUKDeals members boyaloud, m.ad, LaterrMaterr, fluidz, gerrymig and gautamvt)
If you’re skint but still love the acquisition of stuff, you’ve come to the right place – here’s the best of the current crop in the Freebies section over at HotUKDeals. If you love reggae and knitting, it’s your lucky day!
FREE FOOTBALL FIXTURES: Your team’s 2013-14 matches, pumped right into your phone. Such luxury and convenience!
FREE MUG: A Richer Sounds mug, to be precise. WARNING: you’ll need to leave the house and visit an actual Richer Sounds store for this one.
FREE KNITTING PATTERNS: Knitting patterns. Free ones.
FREE MUSIC: A previously-unreleased Manic Street Preachers track – a live version of The Masses Against The Classes.
MORE FREE MUSIC: A 57-minute Trojan Roots Reggae mix tape, free to download. Makes the Manics one look a bit crappy, actually.
FREE GAME: From the makers of Angry Birds, Bad Piggies is now free for iOS devices. Truth be told, it’s not as good as its predecessor but, you know, FREE.
(freebies found by HUKD members davidmaiden18183, hanif39, holly100, WetPussy, Boz, AppStar)
FREE APPS: It’s the 5th birthday of the AppStore and your iOS devices can be jammed up with loads of free stuff as a celebration.
FREE MUSIC: Yes, it’s the Toolroom: Essentials 2013 album! Yes, and it’s FREE!
FREE AMAZON VOUCHER: A £2.00 one, to be precise. For to spend on mp3s.
FREE EYE TEST: You won’t be saying ‘should have gone to Specsavers’ after this, because that’s where you’ll have been! Ha!
FREE CHOCOLATE BAR: Some Cadburys yumminess, fired into yor gob-hole via WHSmith and O2 Priority Moments.
FREE BF3 PHYSICAL WARFARE PACK FOR PS3: Nope, no idea.
(freebies found by avid HUKD members AppStar, teaganmarieravetta, seezyf, stephen2k5, ather7851 and f2k8)
FREE PITTA BREAD: It’s from Kingsmill so you know it’ll be good. Probably.
FREE CODING COURSES: It’s at the Code Academy so you know it won’t be half-baked. Just like the pitta. Probably.
FREE CLOUD STORAGE: 50GB of secure cloudness in which to bung your stuff. All free.
FREE EBAY LISTING: Cancel all your plans – it’s a free listing weekend again!
FREE SNIFF: A sample of 212 VIP men’s fragrance. Nope, no idea.
FREE CURRY: Okay, we’re a bit dizzy with this one. Free. Curry. The holy grail.
(freebies found by avid HotUKDeals members cleversaver1, Rispy, stealthx, fluffykit, and aclondon)
Fancy some free stuff? Here! Go wild with it. Everything from tea to the chance to be killed dead by an F1 car. All of it hailing from the freebies section over at HotUKDeals. Don’t say we never treat you…
FREE PRO FIBRE PLUS: We don’t know what this is. But there’s 5 x 20g sachets of it to be had.
FREE TEA: Beacause there’s always free tea. This time it’s PG tips. A box of the stuff.
FREE DR WHO EBOOKS: For the kids. BECAUSE IT’S A SHOW FOR KIDS.
FREE MARSHALL TRAINING: Enjoy the GB Grand Prix at the weekend? Maybe you’d like to be a marshall next year. Get trained up here.
FREE FAIRY TABLETS: Take these and you’ll become a fairy. Or something.
FREE BODY BUTTER: Butter. For your body instead of for your bread.
FREE TRAVEL EBOOK: Europe: 40 Amazing Experiences, from Lonely Planet. Crazy continent, crazy times.
(freebies found by HotUKDeals members Chanchi32, pinkmelonsmr2, andywedge, holly100, roastdinners, rodrigobr and albert8, )