Newcastle Brown Ale to conquer America

January 21st, 2015 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

Newcastle Brown Ale have been mocking the rest of the booze world’s marketing for a while now. Remember the Broon taking the Michael out of Stella Artois for using the word chalice?

Well, they’re at it again with their ‘No Bollocks’ stance, this time, getting the wonderful Aubrey Plaza to do their ads where they look to America and the Super Bowl to… well… be really sarcastic.

For instance…

And there’s more. Newcy Brown are going all out to mock the very thing they’re spending money on. Basically, Newcastle Brown Ale has gone full-on meta.

Broon are threatening a whole load more too. Check NewcastleBandOfBrands.com for more. Looks like they’re onto a winner with these.

Ikea have come up with quite a clever advert as part of their ‘Wonderful Everyday’ campaign.

The ad sees flocks of t-shirts migrate back to homes with stylish Ikea storage solutions. It’s quite good. Have a butchers below. The 60-second ‘Joy of Storage’ commercial hits screens on 10th January across the UK and Ireland before print, digital and outdoor in the following weeks.

Ikea UK and Ireland marketing manager, Peter Wright, explained that the brand wants to move people’s thoughts away from seeing storage as simply a functional part of the home.

And he’s spouted a load of guff to back this up.

“Whether you have a detached house in the country or a one-bed flat in town, we know that there is joy and satisfaction in giving the things you love a home, whatever your storage needs are. The Joy of Storage is about the time saved and the stress reduced when you have things easily to hand, stored out of sight, or the freedom you get when things are in order.”

Freedom, everyone. FREEDOM.

marmite 255x300 Marmite to relaunch spoof ads despite complaintsMarmite, eh? You either love it or hate it. That’s the theory. Although you could apply that theory to anything from Mrs Brown’s Boys, Rita Ora, a brother-in-law or anal sex to be honest.

However, it’s their thing, and they’re continuing to go with it, as they’ve announced that the mockumentary style adverts that spoof animal rescue scenarios, are to return despite all the complaints they had when it was first aired 18 months ago.

They’ve done a teaser advert, which bugles the return of the mockumentary which detailed jars of Marmite being re-homed and rescued from the backs of kitchen cupboards.

The short film jokingly lays bare the cruelty from “repeat offenders” that has lead to a resurgence of neglect of the brand just 18 months on from the original campaign.

There’s security officials monitoring security feeds and spoofy undercover interviews to poke fun at the public furore around the first advert, ahead of the full 30 second commercial that will debut next week.

Of course there’s a sodding hashtag – #MarmiteNeglect – thank you marketeers for doing the admin for everyone who will no doubt be inundating social networks about it.

Joanne O’Riada, Marmite brand manager, said the campaign will be “digital-first” and deliver a light-hearted reminder of the ‘Love it. Hate it. Just don’t forget it’ strapline”.

Shall we have a look at it?

What days we live in, people.

aldi logo 252x300 Aldis Swap & Save campaign still hopes to cheer up JanuaryDespite the thwarters, Aldi are still hoping to give you some cheer this January with the latest in its Swap & Save campaign.

They’ve even paid some marketeering knobhounds to come up with the term ‘swap your old January to an Aldi January’.

The campaign is hosted on a dedicated website where users can sign in with their email address to find out how much they save with each shop. Here they can track those savings and share them on online using the hashtag #aldichallenge.

Already since the site began on New Years Day, several hundred have compared and contrasted their grocery bills up against Sainsbury’s, Tesco, Morrisons and Asda.

However they’re being a bit more cautious this time around after their previous ‘Swap & Save’ campaigns were narked at by the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA), when in May 2014, Asda complained that it was misleading, and the TV and print ad run out was banned after Tesco chipped in and had a moan.

Tesco said the weekly shops highlighted in the advert were not compared on a like-for-like basis, and added that the explanatory information in the adverts was not prominent enough. It was also claimed Aldi exaggerated how many people had taken part in the challenge.

This time around, the #AldiChallenge campaign, states that the savings are “based on a comparison of Aldi products against premium brands. Other supermarkets may sell ‘own brand’ products at different prices.”

Anyway, pop along here to see what savings you could make.

McDonald’s bring back the McRib

January 2nd, 2015 1 Comment By Ian Wade

McDonald’s McRib sandwich is back. Back. BACK.

Yes, after 12 years and 20,000 pleas across social media, the fast food gulag is reinstating the sarnie onto its menus as of RIGHT NOW. Naturally engagement demands that there’s a hashtag – #theMcRibisback – to drive one time devotees back into its arms.

They also send up obsessives with an advert, which according to McDonalds: “This teaser Mockumentary celebrates the UK’s love for the McRib. To its loyal fans, it’s quite simply iconic.”

However, it’s not forever. It will be on sale up until February 3rd.

So stuff your kale smoothies and your NEW YEAR NEW YOU routine up its arse, and blow your calorific intake on a McRib while you can. Good thing it is available for a limited as hardening your arteries never felt so good.

Roll-ups just as bad as proper fags

December 30th, 2014 2 Comments By Ian Wade

New Year. New You. New Anti-smoking campaign.

The Public Health England (PHE) has warned smokers that roll-ups are just as harmful as their manufactured counterparts. And there was us thinking they were healthier than a bag of vitamins.

This campaign comes as the health officials have revealed that the number of male smokers who roll their own has more than doubled in the last 25 years, going from 18% to 40% in 2013, with the ladies going from 2% to 23%.

Perhaps if normal fags weren’t horrendously expensive, then the lure of rolling your own fags and making it last? Anyway, created by Dare, the campaign shows the damage done to the brain, bones, muscles, teeth and eyes.

Cheery!

Prof Dame Sally Davies reckons: “Significant numbers of smokers are now using roll-ups without realising that gram for gram of tobacco they are just as unsafe as ordinary cigarettes. The research we have got suggests that people think it’s safer to smoke a roll-up but they are wrong, it is not safe. No tobacco is safe and gram for gram it is as harmful as ordinary cigarettes.”

“Whilst many smokers know the damage cigarettes do to their hearts and lungs, they are much less likely to be aware of how harmful smoking is to the body – essentially ‘rotting’ it from the inside out, and roll-ups are no exception,” she said.

You’ll be bombarded with short films and billboard adverts which feature the tagline ‘Every cigarette rots you from the inside out’. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Weetabix tempts the kids with Weetabuddies

December 29th, 2014 1 Comment By Ian Wade

weetabuddies 300x225 Weetabix tempts the kids with WeetabuddiesWeetabix are launching a new campaign to get kids interested in nutrition.

The Weetabuddies campaign will run across multimedia in the next six weeks with a spend of £5.5 million.

They hope that the Weetabuddies characters will engage with the nippers and get them eating Weetabix. Or, if you prefer, eatabixing.

Anyway, the plan is to create a series of individual personalities using bits of fruit that will reflect kids’ personalities. They include Tropicolin, Senor Sultana and Blue Barry. No, really. The latter sounds like some bloke who sells dirty DVDs down the pub.

Children will also be encouraged to create their own Weetabuddy characters and share them online.

All those that are shared to the Weetabuddies website throughout the campaign will be displayed and entered into a competition to win Weetabuddy creator kits. There will be one kit won a day for the duration of the campaign.

In addition, supermarkets such as Asda will sticker the fruits which have been used with special Weetabuddy stickers, to encourage kids to choose more fruit as they try and recreate their favourites. According to Weetabix, on average, children aged 4-10 years are currently only eating half of their recommended ‘five a day’ target (excluding fruit juice).

Weetabix senior brand manager Claire Canty reckons: “We know from our research that as kids get older and experience new tastes and flavours they’re increasingly looking for more exciting, varied breakfasts. However, we know mums still want to be reassured that their families are making healthy choices in the morning which is why we have launched the Weetabuddies campaign.”

“By helping families to get creative and encouraging them to make their own Weetabuddies, we hope that kids will be reminded that a bowl of Weetabix is a lot of fun, while mum can be reassured that they are still getting a delicious and nutritious breakfast, helping us to encourage a whole new generation to fall in love with Weetabix as a result.”

They sound somewhat lighter than the bruisers they used back in the eighties anyway.

AdWatch: Confused.com

December 24th, 2014 No Comments By Ian Wade

confused robot 300x200 AdWatch: Confused.comAs if Christmas Day TV hasn’t enough treats in store for everybody, adland is really going all out in making commercials based around pointless comedic characters.

Not only do you have a meerkat being axed, if you’re unlucky enough to find yourself in front of Downton Abbey’s Christmas special, you’ll be faced with a series of three ads for Confused.com “starring” their mascot Brian the Robot.

The hapless droid will find itself in danger, as he becomes attracted to a super-powered magnet.

Yes, people have been paid to put thought into this.

It will also be introducing new brand characters, the Herberts, who save Brian from a sticky end in a junkyard. Come back Argos aliens, all is forgiven.

The whole affair is part of a fully integrated campaign to engage with social media. People who give a shit, will be able to interact with the hashtag #HelpBRIAN, which will lead them to a microsite wherein they can tell the imaginary construct jokes and be thanked with a personalised message.

Fiona Creedon, head of advertising at Confused.com, said: “This is an exciting new chapter in the Brian the Robot story. We are delighted to introduce the Herberts, Brian’s team of sidekicks, to the British public. We are looking forward to an eventful year ahead as the Herberts and Brian’s story unfolds.”

Bloody hell.

Santa doles out tablets on a plane

December 23rd, 2014 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

Santa has to do some work for big companies now, as a lot of people are downloading their presents in 2014. Father Christmas has to do promotional work while little Jessica downloads Call of Duty from the PlayStation Network. It’s rather sad to see Ol’ Saint Nick pimping himself out this way.

His latest bit of payola was on the flight from London to Boston where he gave out Windows tablets to travellers on behalf of Microsoft.

On the 787 Dreamliner, passengers were encouraged to use the plane’s wifi to log-on to interactive Norad Track Santa platform. While the aircraft flew over Greenland, Santa got on the radio and asked the pilots for permission to land while glass panels showed Father Christmas alighting on the plane with his sleigh.

There’s a video.

Santa waddled down the aisle, taking photos and chatting to passengers.

Not only that, 787 cabin indulged passengers in a multi-sensory event, starring the smells and sounds of Christmas. Presumably, the smell of cloves, nutmeg and grandma farting out sprouts while tutting at the TV.

Fred Warren, creative director at Microsoft Connected Digital Services, said: “The chance to create the first 4D experience in-flight for passengers where technology was the enabler of bringing Christmas to life was a fantastic opportunity for Microsoft. Co-creating this concept with Virgin Atlantic has been unique as we adapted the technology to deliver a true Virgin Atlantic brand experience.”

Commercial Break: Christmas will kill a meerkat

December 22nd, 2014 No Comments By Ian Wade

meerkat Commercial Break: Christmas will kill a meerkatPrepare yourselves, for we have sad news.

Well, ‘sad’ is one definition that could apply, depending on where you stand on Comparethemarket.com’s irritating meerkats (we’d go for the throat ourselves).

Set your videos, dear reader, as one of the comparison site’s most popular meerkats will be axed on Christmas Day, during Coronation Street’s jolly festive episode.

The deeply unfunny one-joke meerkat adverts have been going since 2009, even if it feels like at least three generations more.

Possibly wondering what had he’d done wrong in a previous life to end up commenting on such rubbish, Coronation Street executive producer Kieran Roberts said: “Christmas is often a time when big story-lines climax and characters can face a dramatic exit. On Coronation Street we’ve said farewell to iconic characters such as Hilda Ogden and Karen McDonald in our Christmas episodes and we’re planning another heartbreaking farewell this year.”

“Meanwhile the departure of an unlikely character this Christmas – one of the meerkats – is also likely to grip the nation.  With such affection for the meerkats, this story has all the makings of a classic Christmas Day exit.”

And there was us hoping a fire would sweep through meerkat manor.

Christmas AdWatch: Apple

December 17th, 2014 2 Comments By Ian Wade

Just when we thought we’d finally seen the back of Christmas adverts for the year, along comes a late entry from Apple.

The advert – ‘The Song’ – sees a young lady – via a variety of Apple products, naturally – create a nice duet based on her Gran’s recording of Love Is Here To Stay.

The sell Apple is giving it is: “With a Mac, iPhone or iPad you have the power to create thoughtful, emotional gifts and memories that transcend time. It could be a movie, a homemade card or a song that brings two generations closer together.”

Have a gander at it now. Here.

It’s genuinely quite lovely, and seeing gran tear up as she flicks through photos of yore will have you… no, it’s okay… just something in our eye.

Perhaps it is good that it’s come out a bit later than all the others, otherwise December’s commercial breaks would soon become an intolerable minefield of feelings and heart-string-pulling emotions., and we can’t be having that.

Having spent much of his career apeing the likes of James Bond – 1998′s second album I’ve Been Expecting You and accompanying videos for the You Only Live Twice-sampling Millennium etc – the popular music recording star Robbie Williams is shivving off the need to rejoin Take That by advertising coffee.

Yes, the star whose last video of him pissing off his birthing wife showed a level of no shame whatsoever, has got his tuxedo on to flog Café Royal’s array of items.

As is the modern way, you can also do something in exchange for free content from the singer.

What with Williams joining George Clooney in the ‘advertising coffee’ we should brace ourselves for clown workshop Olly Murs muscling in soon.

What a time to be alive.

McVitie have launched their first Christmas advert in 30 years!

The biscuit people have released the fifth instalment in its ‘Sweeet’ campaign, wherein biscuits are actually puppies and kittens and people go all “Ooooh” at them.

This 60-second ad also features a duckling, husky pup, piglet, reindeer calf and narwhal, performing a version of Yazoo’s Only You – we’ve reached out to Alison Moyet for a comment on the matter, but have yet to get a response – in front of a family doing that biscuit assortment Russian Roulette where no one wants a coconut ring.

It also marks the first time that they’ve advertised their Victoria variety selection, which itself has had a bit of a makeover, with new foil trays and had the average pack increased to 700g.

Sarah Heynen, United Biscuits’ marketing director for sweet biscuits, said: “Bringing Victoria to TV screens this Christmas is the culmination of what has been an extremely successful year for McVitie’s, following the launch of our masterbrand strategy early in 2014,”

“The latest campaign aims to tap into consumers’ love for McVitie’s and the Victoria range, whilst supporting our continuing efforts to drive growth into the category.”

The move has paid off, with McVitie’s combined sales have risen 4.9% to £392.8m since the company have a reshuffle earlier this year, placing all the sweet biscuits under the McVities brand, and all the savoury items under the Jacobs banner.

We’re still creeped out by the notion of animals living inside biscuit packets. Ed. Mof saw it too literally and went dark on Photoshop

biscuits 500x349 Christmas AdWatch: McVities launch first Christmas ad in 30 years

Christmas adverts – you thought you’d seen the back of them by now, but no.

Harvey Nichols have released their one for 2014, following in their now traditional slightly cheeky line of festive ads. The “Could I Be Any Clearer?” campaign encourages shoppers to send e-cards to their loved ones with messages telling the recipient exactly what they want for Christmas. Exactly. You know what with the internet and all that, a link is just fine, but anyway.

For instance, one reads: “Seasons Greetings… will be very awkward if you don’t get me a pair of Charlotte Olympia silver Octavia sandals. They’re the platform ones with the 6” heel. Size 4 ½, or a 5, if that’s all they’ve got.”

Let’s have a look then, eh?

Consumers are welcome to go and design their own cards via the Harvey Nicks websites or on the ‘Could I Be Any Clearer’ app. They’re also selling cards that you can send with your demanding demands in.

Harvey Nichols said that the campaign had been inspired by unwanted gifts which, according to research by the store, were worth up to £808 million nationally in 2013. According to research of over 2000 people, 52% of people were let down by their gifts last year.

Shadi Halliwell, Group Creative & Marketing Director of Harvey Nichols, said: “This year, we everyone to wake up on Christmas morning and love the presents they get from their nearest and dearest.”

“With our ‘Could I Be Any Clearer’ app, you can cheekily spell out that stylish gift you’ve always wanted, making sure you end up with that Lanvin silk dress rather than the iron to steam it with.”

Well if you’ve got ‘buy an iron for someone for Christmas’ in your head, you may as well book out a bed in A&E for the inevitable ‘thrown-iron-dent-in-skull’ injuries that will occur now.

Barclays give you video banking AT LAST

December 1st, 2014 1 Comment By Ian Wade

barclays logo 2480 300x225 Barclays give you video banking AT LASTBarclays Bank have come up with Video Banking.

Well, they introduced to allow their customers to have a digital face-to-face service, which they reckon is a watershed moment for the industry. Now you can actually see the people in the call centre! Amazing. No one’s going to regret that at all and it definitely won’t be taken advantage of by bored teenagers who like trolling people.

The service, will enable customers to video call Barclays from their smartphone, tablet or computer 24/7, “completely on their terms.”

Try it. Come in from a night on the ales and call them at 4am.

Available first to Premier customers on 8th December, the service will be rolled out to other customers in early 2015.

The bank had originally trialled it and all went well, so right now this is what’s happening.

Steven Cooper, chief executive officer, personal banking, said soppily “For the important moments, you just can’t beat face to face conversations, yet traditional branch opening hours don’t always give customers that choice.”

“In addition to the availability of our staff in our branches, over the phone or online, we are combining our dedicated staff with digital technology to bring this facility to customers wherever they are and at a time they choose – putting them in control of when and where they want to do their banking.”

‘The important moments’. Good lord.