Google want to give advertising a shot in the arm because, frankly, there isn’t enough advertising revenue in the world that could sate Google’s appetite.

And so, they have allowed YouTube to buy out Directr, which is a video-editing start-up. Basically, Directr is a mobile app that helps small businesses create marketing videos and adverts.

It is currently a paid-app, but Google have vowed that it’ll be free once Directr has been engulfed by YouTube. There’s a video about it all too, which you can see below. Yes. Of course it is a tweefest.

On its blog, Directr says: “For now, everything you love about Directr is staying the same and we’ll continue to focus on helping businesses create great video quickly and easily. One immediate bonus: Directr will soon be all free, all the time. Thanks, YouTube!”

Does this mean we’re going to get a load of badly-shot pre-rolled adverts over everything now, with some carpet salesman yelling at you from behind a Super 8 filter?

Become the face of Vape!

August 7th, 2014 3 Comments By Ian Wade

mischa vape 300x200 Become the face of Vape!Are you the face of the Vape?

If so, Mischa Barton would like to meet you (probably, she’s just in the campaign overdoing it with the long gloves mainly, her intellectual input is largely negligible on this occasion).

Vapestick are launching a campaign to find a ‘Style Icon’, to find the new face of the vape in future advertising.

Entrants have to strike their best Vapestick pose to be in with a chance of winning.

As well as being the face of Vapestick, the winner will be treated to the ultimate VIP experience, with a stay in a top London hotel, a shopping spree and model treatment ahead of their once-in-a-lifetime Style Icon photoshoot.

The Style Icons Tour is taking place at various events around the UK, which you can find here

Yes, you too could look as dead-eyed and unalluring as Mischa in what is a rather embarrassing advertising campaign while puffing on what looks like a jumbo biro!

Morrisons advert banned for burger business

August 6th, 2014 9 Comments By Mof Gimmers

Have you seen the Morrisons TV commercial which shows a kid saying she’s done well in school and then her mum makes her a burger and she knocks the salad off? That’s what kids do right? Oh, children! WHAT ARE THEY LIKE?!

Of course, the advert wasn’t particularly good, but it was completely harmless right? WRONG. The Advertising Standards Authority have banned it because they think it promotes bad eating habits to children.

Watch the advert below. If you have any children in the vicinity, be sure to avert their eyes or they’ll start mainlining bricks of lard.

The Advertising Standards Authority received 11 complaints (presumably from other advertising agencies or people who are so health conscious that they’re borderline pervy) and the ASA upheld the gripes, saying that the girl in the ad was so keen to eat the burger on its own that she immediately removed the salad. The ASA added that the she discarded the salad in a “careless manner”, suggesting she had no intention of eating it later.

Well duh.

“Because we considered the ad placed an emphasis on the burger being the preferable option to the salad, we concluded it condoned poor nutritional habits or an unhealthy lifestyle, especially in children, and that it disparaged good dietary practice,” ruled the ASA. “The ad must not be broadcast again in its current form.”

Jesus H. Christ.

Galaxy launches Little Treats

August 5th, 2014 No Comments By Ian Wade

galaxy treat 300x225 Galaxy launches Little TreatsChocolate development news now, and Mars are launching a lightweight Galaxy.

Hoping to get a slice of that ‘affordable treat-sized products’ market, the company have announced the 23g Galaxy Little Treat.

It should retail around 35p as opposed to 60p – for the standard 42g Galaxy.

Mars said consumers were all about the value for money these days, and the Galaxy Little Treat will fill a gap in the market for tiny ineffectual sizes of chocolate.

They’re spending £11 million on this launch with ads and posters nationwide, so obviously quite keen for it go down well. Freddo is said to be having nightmares about the whole thing.

Mars’ retail excellence director Tony Lorman said of the Little Treat “extends the range of one of our best-loved brands and gives consumers more choice for an affordable self-indulgence” which makes it all sound slightly unsavoury.

However Bitterwallet remain firm on the joys of a finger of Fudge, which at 20p, still out-snips Galaxy’s so-called Little Treat.

We’re not sure on Chomps though.

 

Speeding video shows 28 kids being killed

June 26th, 2014 9 Comments By Mof Gimmers

Road safety adverts and videos about speeding are often treading the fine line of taste and trying hit the viewer hard with a message that will last.

This week, the Northern Ireland Department of the Environment showed off their video to encourage drivers to slow down with perhaps the most shocking awareness video yet.

The message is incredibly clear – the equivalent of a classroom full of children have been killed in speeding accidents since 2000.

You can watch the video below, but be warned, it does contain graphic content and may distress some of you. Seriously. This is so grim that it would absolutely be the depressing clip shown amongst the laughs on Tarrant on TV.

Mark Durkan, Northern Ireland’s Minister for Road Safety, said: “The aim of this campaign is to challenge and dispel, once and for all, through this emotional and uncomfortable message, the false perceptions that many road users have as to the truly horrifying consequences of speeding.”

Does the advert go too far? Do you think it is perfect to show the gravity of the situation? Are you jaded by countless horror films and hoped for more blood and limbs swinging from trees?

Get stuck in the comments and let us know.

Jaguar ads banned for reckless attitude

June 25th, 2014 2 Comments By Mof Gimmers

Jaguar Jaguar ads banned for reckless attitudeThe Advertising Standards Authority have banned some promo films for Jaguar because they promoted dangerous driving and the like.

Spoilsports.

The four video ads on Jaguar’s website showed a car razzing through a tunnel and crossing over the single white lines in the middle of a road, before driving across a mountain road at night. That’s not advisable in terms of the Highway Code, but c’mon! It is meant to be fantasy, right?

Another clip showed a car driving at high speed, while voice-overs said: “The adaptive dynamics technology reacts 20 times faster than the human eye. It delivers a smooth drive by continuously analysing speed, steering and body movement of the car 500 times a second, giving every journey an instinctive, stable and agile ride.”

The adverts ended with the Jaguar logo alongside text reading: “Jaguar. How alive are you?” to the sound of an engine being revved to oblivion.

One stupid viewer complained that the ads were irresponsible because they “glorified speed and encouraged dangerous driving”.

Just like Shreddies adverts encourage Nestle to force grandmothers to work in cereal knitting sweatshops when they should be enjoying their retirement.

Jaguar said that their videos were shot on the open highway in Switzerland on closed sections of road on the Susten Pass and the Grimsel Pass. Their caption didn’t make this clear, but really, the fact it was an advert should’ve been clue enough.

The company said the adverts’ were there to emphasise the technical features and abilities of the cars and the clips where we saw cars crossing lanes were there to highlight the lightweight construction for cornering stability and safety. They added that these adverts “at no time demonstrated any dangerous driving”, and there was no indication that speed limits were being broken.

The ASA disagreed, saying that the impression they got was Jaguar were focusing on speed and acceleration, rather than safety because of all the high tempo music and revving engines. They also noted that the cars were driving in a manner that would be “irresponsible and illegal” on a public road in the UK.

The ASA said: “We considered that the cars were being handled in a dangerous manner that might encourage motorists to drive irresponsibly. Because we considered that speed was the main message of the ads and the ads portrayed the cars being driven in a dangerous manner, we concluded the ads were irresponsible and condoned dangerous driving.”

They ruled that Jaguar mustn’t show these ads again and that they shouldn’t “portray speed as the focus of an ad in future… and not to portray driving behaviour that might encourage motorists to drive irresponsibly in future”.

Jesus Christ Almighty.

Commerical Break: Hooters know ‘football’

June 12th, 2014 1 Comment By Mof Gimmers

Oh, ha ha! Hooters, owl and boob-based establishment have done a video where they don’t understand what football is because, get this, THEY’RE AMERICAN!

HAR HAR!

They don’t understand football so much that they mistake it for other words, despite having something else called ‘football’. They’re so flummoxed that they hired A PROFESSIONAL GOLFER to look confused about it all too.

Oh Hooters. We’ve all sincerely soiled ourselves over this one. Great acting too.

Hopefully, Hooters don’t understand dry sarcasm as well as association football.

Now you see AA’s naked cyclist

May 19th, 2014 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

There’s been a lot of useful (and less useful) chat about safety for cyclists on the roads of the UK. Of course, 99% of these conversations end up with cyclists shouting at drivers about nearly being killed, and motorists yelling about bikes running red lights and the like.

We assume that drivers don’t want to kill or maim people on bikes, so collectively, more needs to be done to get cyclists noticed.

With that, the AA have a small campaign called ‘Think Bikes!’, which you can see here if you’re interested.

If you can’t be bothered with all that reading, you can watch the AA’s latest video, which features a man riding a pushbike with his arse out, riding through London.

Have a look.

Morrisons launch ‘I’m Cheaper’ adverts

May 8th, 2014 1 Comment By Mof Gimmers

Morrisons aren’t doing very well on the high street, but they’re determined to turn things around. They will be opening new stores around Britain – that’s how confident they are.

They’re also pushing out a new advertising campaign under the ‘I’m Cheaper’ name, which is rather direct. And not entirely true if you look at their budget competitors.

They’re pretty confident these new ads will stop the rot which saw like-for-like sales in the quarter to 4 May slumping by 7.1%. How are they planning to win you all over? With scones.

The stillness and winking going on in the new Morrisons adverts remind you of anything? All those Aldi averts? They’ll be having nanas on the gin next.

Either way, the supermarket will be cutting the price of 1,200 products by an average of 17% as part of their £300m investment to win everyone over.

As well as the two new supermarkets and 11 convenience stores, they’re also going to beef up online sales and see if that works. What do you think? Still more likely to shop elsewhere regardless?

Ronald McDonald gets a makeover for social media

April 25th, 2014 2 Comments By Mof Gimmers

Ronald McDonald, the creepy face of McDonald’s, is threatening to get busy on social media. He’s said that he’s going to start taking loads of selfies and inevitably get verbal squits on Twitter.

On top of all this, he’s got a new look as well because, in the branding wars, McDonald’s haven’t been too active.

The video below shows Ronald’s new slightly unsettling haircut, some new kecks and a bright red blazer. Gone will be that yellow clobber he’s famously worn for so long.

This new Ronald has actually said (via the company, of course) that he’ll be taking selfies and tweeting with the #RonaldMcDonald hashtag.

You wouldn’t want to get him confused for all the other horrible clowns you follow on Twitter, eh?

Apple: Now promoting big penises

April 24th, 2014 1 Comment By Mof Gimmers

apple logo Apple: Now promoting big penisesApple have a new advert out, and it is supposed to show-off how much they think you should buy an iPhone. In a bid to do this, they’ve got some hipsters to join together and sing a 90s song.

So far, so typical.

However, what Apple seem to have missed is the message in the song they chose. They have these hipsters singing ‘Gigantic’ by The Pixies.

And that just happens to be a song about large black penises. Or, it’s a song about some people having sex while another watches. Either way, you have to assume Apple are too dumb to have checked out anything like that.

The lyrics go like this: Gigantic, gigantic, gigantic… a big big love… lovely legs they are… what a big black mess… what a hunk of love… walk her every day into a shady place… he’s like the dark, but I’d want him

Pixies bass player Kim Deal, who sings the track and co-wrote it with Frank Black, has said that the song is a bit dirty, and is based on the film ‘Crimes of the Heart’ where Sissy Spacek plays a married woman who has an affair with a black teenager.

So there you have it, fanboys. You need to go and get some gigantic love in you right away or you’ll make the ghost of Steve Jobs cry.

There’s a million useless videos made by corporations in a bid to go viral that are fantastically useless. However, now and then, there’s one that even the hardest cynic can’t help but like.

Those gits at Vodafone have done a video which is, bluntly, an eyeball wetting joy. They get two old ladies and stick them on a plane for the first time in their lives. One of the ladies is a bit of a wuss, but lovely and game. The other is an absolute riot who you should love from the moment she cackles her way around a loop-the-loop on a rollercoaster.

So, without giving any more away, have a look at this.

[via Gizmodo]

Commerical Break: Check your balls

April 4th, 2014 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

Making adverts for health concerns, are usually awkward affairs that make you want to ignore what the commercial is saying to the point where you’ll willing take the illness on offer, just to end the horror of watching it any more.

Well, over in that Canada, they’ve managed to make a funny video out of balls that might have cancer in them. They’ve mixed a serious message with a load of blokes in amusing agony, which you’ll enjoy, regardless of your gender.

Have a look… at the video and your bollocks.

There’s a new advert for Snickers that has aired in Australia, which sees builders attracting the attention of women with their loud manly voices.

However, in this instance, the men shout positive things at passing ladies. Instead of wolf whistling, they demand an end to “gender bias” and say things like “have a productive day!” and the like.

Watch the advert and then see if you can spot the problem.

See, the tagline: “you’re not you when you’re hungry”? Doesn’t that suggest that, because the builders are famished, they’re not acting like themselves. Presumably, Snickers want their product to be the builders’ filling snack of choice.

Thereby, if the builders become ‘themselves’, the opposite of what they’re displayed to be doing, then surely, eating a Snickers makes you a boorish sexist? Snickers like ‘rape culture’? Or, are builders only sexist when they’re hungry and once they’ve eaten one, they revert back to being right-on? Or is this offensive to men who do labouring jobs? Or, why isn’t 50% of the workforce shown made up of women?

Or… OR… OR… NO YOU’RE OVER THINKING A STUPID ADVERT ABOUT A CHOCOLATE BAR!

Everyone’s been chattering about the controversial Paddy Power ad-campaign that features odds on the Oscar Pistorius murder trial. Clearly, it is in very poor taste, but is being tasteless illegal?

Either way, increased scrutiny has ensured that the campaign will be investigated by the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA).

The ad, which you can see below, shows the head of Pistorius superimposed onto an Oscar statue and says: “It’s Oscar Time. Money back if he walks. We will refund all losing bets on the Oscar Pistorius trial if he is not found guilty.”

pistpaddy 333x500 Paddy Powers Oscar Pistorius ad to be investigated

The ASA said they are launching the investigation after receiving 46 complaints in two days. Presumably, all the complaints focused on the fact that Paddy Power ostensibly appear to be trying to make some money out of the death of Reeva Steenkamp.

As ever, with anything vaguely topical, an online petition appeared and over 100,000 people signed it asking Paddy Power to withdraw the advert.

The petition said: ”The brutal death of a woman at the hands of her partner is not ‘sport’ or ‘entertainment’ and promoting the opportunity to make money from it is a vile and offensive act which anyone with a sense of human dignity and respect for human life must reject.”

“138 women died in the UK alone as a result of male violence in 2013. This type of random carelessness for the lives of women by Paddy Power is an affront to those women and their families.”

Meanwhile, Paddy Power’s website encouraged “savvy punters” to have a “courtroom flutter”, signing off with: “One thing’s for sure, trial verdicts don’t come much bigger than this.”

Thus far, Paddy Power are not for shifting, saying: ”We are not planning to take down our betting on the Pistorius trial verdict. We have a long history of offering odds on major global news events and the Oscar Pistorius trial is no different.”