With Christmas coming, you’ve probably felt the stress of thinking up unique gifts for loved ones. You don’t want to get them something shitty… you want something unique… something that tells them that they are special.

We’re no different at Bitterwallet and we’ve narrowly avoided buying each other something utterly useless, like a DVD boxset or a card with a tenner in it because we’ve found the ultimate in gifts.

Ladies and gentlemen, we give you The Celestial Soul Portraits, by Erial Ali.

What you do is, send a photograph of yourself to Erial. He’ll then get in touch with you on the phone for a consultation and then he’ll meditate for a while to “tune into you” and “get your unique Essence”. Then, he’ll magically transform your essence into a Celestial Soul Portrait of you! ‘Magically’, in this case, meaning ‘MS Paint’ and ‘Photoshop Hatchet Job’.

He’ll even print it out for you so you can hang it on the wall above your bed so it can stare at you like some meth-fuelled Glasto-casualty murderer.

Erial reckons: “My mission as an Artist and Storyteller is to help the emerging Planetary Civilization live in the light of Eternity...” for $150-a-pop mind you. This ‘gift’ don’t come for fee, son. Anyway, it sounds like I’m being cynical and, well, I am. If you’d like to see how warped and vomit-inducing your soul looks like, click the link below. Be sure to enjoy the portrait of a man pissing about with a violin.

Click here to order your own picture of your soul crying.

[Spotted by Robyn]