The death of the cheque has been seen as an affront to old people who don’t like using the many electronic alternatives that are out there. They live in constant fear of not being able to perform rudimentary tasks like remembering PIN numbers and not blurting out all their personal details when faced with a Chip And Pin device.

And so, someone has created something pointless to remedy this terrible state of affairs! Welcome, the electronic cheque! Old people are saved! Provided, of course, they have a digital pen and computer.

Which they won’t have.

Basically, with a mixture of new technology and an old idea, money can be transferred by people over WiFi, which is bound to be largely useless to those that are bemoaning the killing of the humble chequebook.

The cheques and pen work only with the customer’s own secure computer hub. Researcher Dr John Vines said the tech-cheque was developed in partnership with a group of people aged over 80. “The beauty is that it is a safe and cheap electronic transaction for banks, but it’s a physical paper-based transaction for the customer.”

A digital pen costs £80, which is roughly one year’s worth of pension to an old person now. They’ll freeze to death, but at least they’ll be able to sign a cheque for a tartan coat for their beleaguered dog.